Recently in Satire/Parody Category

Saya (N)anti Rasuah

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DIY - Home Improvement

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hi kit

I have been taking pains to furnish our new condo recently and the DIY bug has bitten my girlfriend big time, no thanks to her colleague. Her colleague is doing direct sales part-time and I'm told she does every -way there is out there. Amway, Cosway, Tupperware etc.

She brought home this rickety and capricious clothes hanger last night and practically forced me to fix it at 11 pm at night after dinner. It took me about 30 minutes to get it done - I'm more Tim than Al in the home improvement department, but in the end I managed to assemble the contraption and anchor it to one of the ceiling beams in our master bedroom.

hi diy

It took a long time before we realized that the RM 30 device wouldn't reach the actual ceiling of the condo, so I settled for the beam while my girlfriend muttered something about it looking out of place. Hmph...

I would have preferred to save the hassle and get ready fixed furniture delivered straight in.

Nevertheless, the truism of beggars can't be choosers applies and it had already cost us a significant chunk of our savings to get the condo up to reasonable living standards - air conditioning, fridge, washing machine, wardrobes, broadband, breakfast bar, and a king sized bed with Aussino fittings and pillows (as well as other creature comforts).

I felt a semblance of satisfaction in assembling the rickety clothes hanger - it was meant for my work shirts and my coats and ties and I'm grateful to my girlfriend for purchasing it.

It's not a Kodak Moment, but definitely an arrghh arrggghh arrrggghh moment. ;)

More power!

I lost my balls!

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no balls

I have lost my ball(s). It is official, and perhaps a sign of things to come. The first flesh stapling, which is fastened on one side with a ball, came undone and I couldn't find the ball anywhere. It seems that I have lost my mojo. :(

Oh well, at least the flesh stapling is subdermal (it goes under the flesh) so I don't have to worry about the entire thing dropping off. I haven't posted about my recent body modifications so expect the photos and videos to be up soon. :)

I had two done this year - a double nipple piercing and three flesh staples on my wrist. I will do a full writeup on both this week.

...but before that I shall need to head back to BB Plaza to get a new ball.

Seriously, it sucks having no balls.

DKNY rebranding exercise

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dkny dky

Spotted at 1U. DKNY rebranding exercise. Donna Karen is moving her operations to Yemen.

Industry pundits cite the high cost of operations in New York as a factor in the controversial decision.

Manscaping - Retail therapy for men

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g2k

I've always wondered about the concept of retail therapy for our female friends. There is an increasing trend of terms like "metropolitan" and "SNAG" being thrown around for men who likes to dress well and look good. I have never doubted my manhood and have no qualms about applying lip balm or hand lotion in full view of the entire office.

I have purchased (via proxy) a G2000 shirt (black - 60 % cotton, 40 % polyester) that just came out for RM 159. I did not get the positive stimulus from physically being in the store - trying out different shirts, preening in the fitting rooms and actually making the purchase. However, the wonders of modern technology (3G video calls) enables me to pick and choose three new arrivals from G2000 from more than 1,000 km away.

g2k lunch

I just got the shirts yesterday and I wore the black one to work this morning. I was surprised to register feelings of contentment, general well being (almost bordering on euphoria), and renewed self-confidence while driving to work. I walked straighter, smiled more and was in a more positive mood the entire working day.

I can understand the concept of retail therapy - purchasing a new garment that makes yourself look (and feel) good, but have never been a strong proponent of it due to my less-than-healthy fiscal status. It never ends there either. I have also found myself dabbling in the mystical arcana of manscaping.

g2k hair

Manscaping is a concatenation of the words "man" and "landscaping" and you can probably figure out what the term means from the two root words. I have newfound fascination with landscaping the follicles on my legs to make the filum look more streamlined. I am also venturing into the nether regions to try out my ideas of color, form, line, scale and texture on the foliage growing there. ;)

Retail therapy and manscaping might come across as a little bit on the gay side to our excessively heterosexual men out there, but I can understand the appeal of wanting to look good. :)

sixthseal.com aesthetic tip of the day:

Deodorant works for 24 hours. You don't actually need to apply it first thing in the morning after showering. Instead, try applying it at night, just before you go to sleep. It still retains the hyperhidrosis management properties of your underarm regions and the scent (of the deodorant, not your armpits) is not as strong/overpowering the next day after your morning shower.

g2k dinner

Hah! I bet you didn't know that a chao ah beng blogger knows these things.

Excuse me, I'm a Chao Ah Beng (Premium Edition), okay? Got study in Australia one. ;)

Telekom Malaysia - very efficient one!

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kedaitelekom.jpg

You know hor...I applied for a phone line some time ago and a scant week later, some char bo called me and said my line is ready. Wah piang eh, so fast, I thought needs months to apply for a phone line, but apparently ah, here in KL it only takes one week! Yes, I don't kid you lah, it's really that short. And hor, and hor...I had to call them using my Digi Prepaid line to some 07 number to check my registration status a couple of days ago.

Anyway, that girl ah, she's like "tunggu ah, sebentar lagi"..."tunggu ah" for so long. Na beh, she runs on a different time scale than mine, her "sebentar lagi" equals RM 15+ in credit talk time. I tell her...you call me back lar, but she "sebentar lagi, sebentar lagi" onli. This Telekom service - best in Malaysia, I tell you!

NEwayz, I only got into a Kedai Telekom at that Raja Tulan road this afternoon and they said "system down, cannot process order, banyak soli"...wah lau, why like this one ah? But me also not gong one, I said, I WILL WAIT TILL THE SYSTEM IS UP and I took one of their black Hacks sweets from the courtesy jar and sat there for like 5 minute and then they told me, oh can process order now. See...

So...after paying RM 135 to Telekom Malaysia Sendirian Berhad, I'm waiting for the subcontractor to come and install a phone line to my room (extra charge coz subcontracted out mah). Like this hor...once my home line and ADSL is up, I can use the Apache httpd.conf file to er...disallow (not ban hor, ban very pai tiah, it's "disallow") my company firewall's IP address to access sixthseal.com and castitas.com so that PEOPLE WON'T SAY LIM PEH IS BLOGGING DURING WORK HOURS since i can't even access it myself when the IP is on the disallow list.

(shh...i tell you a secret ah, actually hor, no body said that lah, it's coz i want to keep my work life and private life seperate...dun want people going through my site and think me and veritas is the same person. aiyoh, how can people can think that, i also dunno lah...you look at veritas, seem to have good ENGLEESH, talk like what, so CHEEM while lim peh (lim peh = me in hokkien) doesn't write like that. i can barely write proper sentences, reli struggling already lah, much less things like wat banzai banzo or bensoh that that veritas keeps on saying...i dunno lar, we write so different, dunno how you guys can make that mistake lar...really lah)

also, lim peh coming in to work tomorrow. yes, tomorrow sunday, i know, but me got work to do and here got free coffee. (actually i just want to escape from mass...sien lah, sit there for one hour and half)..hehe! oh ya, if my gf is reading this, i'm kidding hor, i have a monday deadline to meet so i have to work ya. i want to go church, very fun, but got work lah, so sorry cannot...my mom tell me guys must concentrate on career. i dun want to be si kin nah, so i listen to her lor...

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hb

Hello there! I am Huai Bin and I'm a 27 year old working professional living in Sibu.

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