sixthseal.com

30 minute crispy noodles

This plate of crispy noodles took 30 minutes to arrive. I was having lunch with a co-worker and we both had to go to the bank so we ordered crispy noodles, which is probably the fastest turnaround dish since the kolo mee stall it having an off day. Crispy noodles are the pre-fried noodles that comes...well, crispy and the cook just needs to prepare the sauce and pour it over the noodles. It's a really good noodle dish, the contrast of the crispy and soggy noodles with the hot sauce combines to create an unusual but tasty texture. The thing about crispy noodles is, it doesn't get soggy unless you purposely push it down into the sauce.

Anyway, back to the long turnover, it was due to a large family (complete with elders, heaps of young children and the obligatory Indonesian maid) taking up two big tables and ordering heaps of food. I think there should be a law banning these diners from eating at places frequented by office workers during lunch hour.

Posted in by Huai Bin at 01:58 PM Permalink | Comments (9)

Cheap prepaid reload cards

I went to Crown Square just now to meet up with Hau Ee. She's from Sibu as well - I remember a bunch of us going for supper at Taman Harmoni the previous time I was back home. Anyway, she told me she'll be in Kuching for a couple of days and I've been meaning to get the discounted cell phone reload cards off her, so off I went. From what I understand, it's an annual commitment for pre-paid cell phone cards (across all mobile operators in Malaysia) where you choose the plan you want (according to your cell phone usage needs) and you get the coupon codes every month at a highly discounted rate.

I'm not sure if I got that exactly right...she explained the plans to me, but I was so scattered today that I could hardly comprehend what she said. It's Sunday today and that means it's the last day of my high-intensity weekend warrior run. High-intensity runs (constant and compulsive maintenance of peak plasma concentrations, no food, dehydrating conditions) tend to deep fry the brain towards the end.

It also didn't help that I consumed massive amounts of clonazepam, nitrazepam, alprazolam and lorazepam to chemically accelerate hypnotic activity so I could turn in earlier tonight. The benzodiazepine combination hit me harder than I expected, though I wasn't aware of that, and placidly cruised to town while downright sedated. I only realized that my reflexes were impaired when I nearly drove up a curb while making the U-turn that I take everyday and skidded (it was raining and the roads were slippery) after going into a corner too fast.

I made sure that I was ultra careful after that and reached the destination and back without any vehicular collisions. Heh. Anyway, I reckon this spot is where I'm supposed to insert the obligatory harm minimization message to urge people under the influence to avoid driving. ;) Well, like I said, the combination made me scattered and higher level thought processes were affected so I had a really hard time understanding how the discounted pre-paid cards work.

Anyway, I finally gathered that there is an upfront fee (the annual plan rate) and you can resell the reload coupons that you don't use to someone else e.g. you can sell the unused ones if you didn't make a lot of calls that month and thus have surplus cards. It sounded like a good idea, except that I don't use my cell phone all that much, and I'm too lazy to sell any remainder cards to other people. :)

Thus, I didn't go for the annual plan and just got a RM 50 Digi prepaid coupon off her. I still have credit in my cell phone, since I usually make outgoing calls from my house phone. I don't remember the last time I reloaded my cell phone, but it was barred today coz the 3 month validity period was over, so I can receive calls but not make outgoing calls. The system Digi uses allows you a fairly long grace period and you don't lose the existing unused credit you had before the validity period expired.

The existing credit is just stacked back on when you reload, adding the balance to the new value. The validity expired today, so I just got a single reload coupon off her, instead of opting for the cheaper annual plan, since I don't use my cell phone that much. I still need to reload though, since a phone that doesn't allow outgoing calls rather defeats the purpose of having a cell in the first place. :)

L-R: How Ee, Huai Bin (me).

Excuse me, dear readers...I'll have to reply the comments tomorrow. Sleep beckons me...

Posted in by Huai Bin at 03:30 PM Permalink | Comments (16)

Lotte Black Black Wake Up Gum

This is the illustrious Lotte Black Black chewing gum - the caffeine gum from Japan. Except this one isn't made in Japan...it's manufactured in Indonesia. I remember the Japanese Lotte Black Black imports the Asian grocery store used to carry when I was in Melbourne. I thought it was alright - caffeine gums! It didn't do much for me though, since I used to take No-Doz (100 mg caffeine tablets) like candy so I have a tolerance to caffeine.

I haven't seen Lotte Black Black gum in Malaysia though, and I was surprised to see them at Ting & Ting's. Lotte Black Black Wake Up Gum retails for RM 0.65. This version is packed in a cardboard box instead of the normal chewing gum stick format. It also has a prominent Wake Up Gum sign in the middle, as can be seen in the photo above.

They even had the sheer audacity to put this image at the back of the packet. Zzz stopped short by a universal "No" sign.
Hmph...we'll see...
I'm the reviewer from hell when it comes to evaluating products with stimulant properties and outrageous claims like this tend to elicit an unfavorable response.
What do they put inside? Methamphetamine?

It turns out that it's just plain old tame caffeine. Pfffttttt...

I did notice a difference between the Japan made ones and the Indonesian made ones though. The Lotte Black Black from Japan lists caffeine, gingko extract and some other ingredients which I can't remember. The Indonesian ones that we get here doesn't have that many items, and it lists coffee instead of caffeine as the active ingredient.

Anyway, I opened the pack and found 8 pellets of gum, which looked rather crusty and had white discoloring on the surface of each coated gum. I popped all of them and chewed...and waited...and waited...and waited. I am forced to conclude that the caffeine content in these gums from Indonesia is very low and practically undetectable. Please do yourself a favor and buy a cup of coffee instead.

I rate Lotte Black Black Wake Up Gum (Indonesia) as a completely worthless product with no redeeming features. Hell, I would have fallen asleep during the taste test if it weren't for the administration of a superior stimulant (which will not be named since it's irrelevant to the review) to keep myself awake.

Wake up gum, my ass...

Posted in Snacks by Huai Bin at 05:53 AM Permalink | Comments (10)

Photo of me jacking off (Work Warning!)

Here's a photo of me after I did battle with the purple helmeted warrior. Astute readers can see that there are tell tale stains on my shirt. Here at sixthseal.com, we always try to push the boundaries of good taste...though a little smudge was done around the exposed pubic area to avoid offending the more sensitive ones amongst us. ;)

Anyway, masturbation seems to be a seldom talked about topic. No one seems to be volunteering information about beating the bishop, charming the serpent, choking the chicken, cracking the bat, disciplining the soldier, loading the cannon, adjusting the antenna, working overtime at the meat factory and all that.

Well, since I'm bored, I'll kick off this topic...my views on taking things into your your own hands *cough* is that most people do it, and the rest are lying. You could be in the most physically gratifying relationship in the world and still long for some solo action, where you don't have any obligation to please anyone but yourself.

Personally, I don't get in touch with my manhood, so to speak, that often. Heavy benzodiazepine therapy pretty much culls any thoughts that could lead to arousal before they begin. I usually spank the monkey about once a week, when I tweak. Anyway, before anyone asks me why I fly solo, it's because I'm already in a relationship.

I also have a phobia about STD's so I don't go hunting...I'll rather tenderize the meat steak myself any day... ;)

Update: I realize that the content of this post may have offended certain people and it was irresponsible for me to put this up in the first place. Please, accept my sincere apologies [sixthseal.com].

Posted in Hmm... by Huai Bin at 02:41 PM Permalink | Comments (68)

Krazy quiz bonanza

I'm going to do something I haven't done since the start of this blog - I'm actually going to do them 20 question type quizzes! I'll grab a couple from my Friendster bulletin board and do them as quick as I can. Why? I fear that if I stop thinking, my brain will explode. On with the quizzes!

1. NAME: Huai Bin

2. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE NORMAL: It would be a stretch to claim that I am...in plain English, no.

3. DO PEOPLE FIND YOU STRANGE: That's what they always tell me.

4. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: It depends on when you ask me...the faith in a divine creator is linked to the simple physics equation that dictates force in relation to speed and mass. Let's assume that force (faith in God) is constant (well, there was a study that suggests the human brain is wired to believe in a superior divine being...), so speed and mass are the influential denominators. Thus, if force is constant, pushing an apple would be easier than pushing a watermelon. This is because speed and mass is inversely proportional.

This example also can be used literally. The more...er, speed, shall we say, is involved, the less likely I will be going to mass (church service) because that would be...well, a drag (refer to force). Thus, the more speed I have, the less mass I'll need to achieve force (in this case, I probably think I'm God). I haven't really tested this out in the other direction though, I loathe to think of sitting through mass.

However, if I'm sober when you ask me, I'll just say "Yes" to make you go away.

5. DO YOU SING A LOT: Yes. I dare say that some of my exultations would not be classified as "singing" though. I broke into song just this evening, I was so excited about the shimmering prism waiting for me at home...I savagely butchered through the lyrics of what I call Track 8 from Umph in guttural loud growls while thumping on the steering wheel. I was so into it, I was SHOUTING "LA LA LA LA LA LA, HEY, PUSH IT HARDER! I'M ON A MISSION! DA DA DA DA DUM! ONE TWO THREE..." and I turned to the left, where there was a man driving his wife and daughter home, and the daughter was positively gaping at me while her mom nudged her so she won't stare. That's how loud I was singing...people in other cars hear me. I didn't miss a beat and SCREAMED "KICK IT! LA LA LA I'M ON A MISSION!" so hard it probably contorted my face into monster like proportions because I made them jump. I was still pounding away at the steering wheel as I drove away from the apparently immobilized vehicle.

Ask them if I was singing?

6. DO YOU BACKSTAB: I don't. I'll say it in front of your face.

7. ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND: No, I'm afraid not.

8. ARE YOU IN LOVE: This question is rather ambiguous...it doesn't state the object of affection. Please ask "...with rocks?", "with your girlfriend?", or something like that.

9. ARE YOU YOUNG: 23. To use a cliche, I've learnt a lot and I still have a lot to learn.

10. EVER BEEN A LEADER OF SOMETHING: Yes, lots of things. All of them unsavory.

11. EVER KILLED A LIVING CREATURE: I think the question would be better phrased as "killed someone". Who hasn't killed a "living creature"?

12. LAST ODD THING DONE: This quiz. I haven't done this in a long time and I'm not the type to do it.

13. DO YOU WEAR MAKE-UP: Last time I wore makeup was for a class production...so, no.

14. DO YOU REBEL: I would for a good cause. Even for a bad one. ;)

15. EVER STARTED A FIRE: What is this? Questions for children or people of under average intelligence? Yes, I have started a fire. I like fires. Ignition, they call it an obsession, but I think it's kinda bitchin', I think it's kinda neat!
The question would be better phrased as "Ever committed arson?"

16. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE EVIL: Everyone has the potential to be evil, under the right circumstances. Man is inherently evil, and don't you think otherwise. You can be evil too.

I'm not though. I don't think I am anyway.

17. DO YOU LIKE LYING: No. It's inevitable that you'll get caught up in it. It is sometimes necessary though. Just ask veritas. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we conspire to conceive.

Please don't correct me on that quote. I know it's not how it really goes. I like this version just fine. Let it be.

18. DO YOU REGRET: Regrets, I've had a few. I don't think about them though...I technically can't, since I'm on high dose benzodiazepine therapy. It's very easy to forget things. Just take a fistful of Xanax.

19. DO YOU HAVE A BESTFRIEND: I guess he does fit the definition "best friend" the most...

20. DO PEOPLE HATE YOU: Yes. I don't give a fuck though. You can't expect everyone to like you.

21. DO YOU HATE PEOPLE: Of course. I hate a lot of people.

22. CAN YOU KILL SOMEBODY: Hmm...I place little value on the human life...so yes, I will if the situation warrants it. I'll only do it for a good reason (pissing me off is a good one) and if I'm fairly sure I'll get away with it. Or for self-defense. A lot of people confuse "can" and "will". It's one thing to think you can and freeze up when the moment comes. It's another thing to know that you will...

23. DO YOU CUT YOURSELF?: Nope. Why waste the energy when there's plenty of people out there who's willing to do it for you? ;)

24. EVER TASTED BLOOD: Yes. Tastes like chicken. Oh wait...blood, you said? That tastes like metallic water.

25. DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF YOU?: I think everyone does to a certain extent. I don't care about the opinions of people I don't like, but I do care about the opinions of people I like. Well, a couple of them anyway.

26. EVER DONE ANYTHING OCCULT: That is so adolescent angst type behavior...been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, and it says "The occult - Admission only for kids 14 years and below".
What? Do you think chanting paeans to Satan to bring misfortune over your enemy while killing a goat will get you anywhere? Just take your knife and do it yourself, pussy.

27. ARE YOU GOTHIC: Gothic people are lame. Please see #26 for the reasons.
"The world is a depressing dark void?"
I heard that real Goths (haha) commit suicide. Are you hardcore enough, goth?
The final exit?
Dare you do it?
A) Yes
Bye.
B) No
Bitch...please, you're not goth, STFU and go away.

28. CONSUME DRUGS: I don't need to answer this, I presume. It's pretty obvious that I do.

29. WHAT DO YOU WEAR: I like to wear pajama pants. I can't wear it all the time though.

30. YOUR SKIN COLOR: I'm Chinese. Does that make me yellow? I don't have jaundice.

31. DO YOU LIKE THE SUN: Hell, no. It brings into stark relief what the darkness hides. It also brings out the Shadow People and makes me disoriented. Go away.

33 .HAVE YOU LOST SOMEONE YOU LOVE: Hmm...I've been dumped before, if that's what it means.

34. HOW DOES GRIEF FEEL:
GRIEF FEELS GOOD!
Oh, grief...I thought this was a trick question, asking about some random guy called GRIEF. Well, grief doesn't feel all that good, so I suggest leveraging modern pharmacology and make grief go away with the various substances that the wonderful world of chemistry has given us:
1. TO FORGET
Benzodiazepines
2. TO IGNORE
Methamphetamine
3. TO NOT CARE
Heroin

Things to avoid:
1. MDMA
May greatly exacerbate grief during the comedown.
2. Alcohol
Because you'll regret it the next day.

Things which may work:
1. Psychedelics which are not emphatogens
LSD/magic mushrooms to make you reflect on your grief and deal with it. Ketamine to dissociate yourself from grief. Both to scare yourself grief-less.

35. YOUR ROLE MODEL: I don't have one.

36. YOUR HEART DESIRES TO BE WITH WHOM: The one who can save me, rehabilitate me and walk with me down the right path. The loyal, fiercely loving and protective savior who can pull me up from the one way spiral downwards. Hail Mary!

37. YOUR LISTENING TO: Feng tau music at a volume which will cause auditory damage on extended periods of exposure. You have to shout a bit to get my attention.

38. DO HATE YOURSELF: Heh. It's funny, this question cropping up. Yeah, I guess I do, or else I won't be so self-destructive.

39. DID THIS QUIZ MAKE SENSE: I've never seen one that does. It was great knowing you though, you gave me a chance to say things I normally won't blog about.

40. PARTING WORDS: For God sent his Son to lead the wild into the ways of the Man...follow me!

41. WHO DO FEEL LIKE KILLING RIGHT NOW?: I can think of a couple of people off the top of my head, but no way I'm telling, this might be construed as evidence for premeditated murder if the worse should happen. ;)

Next!

I don't know if this is meant for substituting the letter of the alphabet for something else or using the same form words, but precedence seems to suggest it's a pre-formed quiz, so here goes:

A - Age: 23

B - Band listening to right now: It's not a band...feng tau music.

C - Career in future: A job that pays me an obscene amount of money to do nothing.

D - Dad's name: It's the same as mine, Mr. Poh.

E - Easiest person to talk to: Ah Boon

F - Favorite song at the moment: Moonlight Shadow from a feng tau compilation. It's very uplifting.

The last that ever she saw him,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
He passed on worried and warning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a river last Saturday night,
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight,
And she couldn't find how to push through.

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Worms. Bears are harder to eat.

H - Hometown: Sibu, Sarawak.

I - Instruments: I did piano till Grade 4, memorized some strings on an electric guitar. That's it.

K - Kids: I don't think I'll be a good parent at this stage in my life...

L - Longest car ride ever (longest trip by car): From Sibu to Kuching and back up right to Kota Kinabalu, passing Brunei and back down again. The kilometer count goes well into the four digits.

M - Mom's name: Mrs. Poh, like mine, except she has a Mrs instead of a Mr suffix.

N - Number of siblings: 1 - "my doctor sister", as I like to call her.

P - Phobia[s]: Getting infected with HIV, spiders, etc. etc. I'll still be here writing if I'm going to put everything down.

Q - Favorite Quote(s): Condemnant quod non intellegunt. It's Latin for "They condemn because they do not understand".

R - Reason to smile: Crystal.

S - Song you sang last: That moonlight shadow song.

T - Time you wake up: I did not go to sleep and I don't plan to. However, the answer is 7:06 AM on normal weekdays. I don't sleep in the weekend.

U - Unknown fact about me: I was so vain I had three facial moles removed by a surgeon (who charged RM 100 each) when I was 13 and two more when I was 17. I didn't want to go to a quack doctor, so I went to a real surgeon who did proper incisions and stitches. There you go...bet you didn't know that.

V - Vegetable you hate: I don't like most vegetables...

W - Worst habit: Choosing the path of least resistance when it comes to my substance dependency...and you know which way that is...

X - X-rays you've had: I've had several...first one was for my application for PR (Permanent Residence) status in New Zealand when I was 13.

Y - Yummy food: Chinese.

Z - Zodiac sign: Aries. The first sun sign in the zodiac. The color of Aries is usually red, and that reflects in the blog design. I think the best phrase that I found sums up my personality is this column where it said to Aries - "You like extremes."

This one is fitting too:

Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted

Selfish and quick-tempered
Impulsive and impatient
Foolhardy and daredevil

Traditional Aries traits.

Next! Oh, and last!

FAVORITE name?
Natalie

FAVORITE number?
3 and 5

FAVORITE time of the day?
5 o' clock onwards...

FAVORITE friend?
I don't have a "favorite" one, people change, friendships change, the answer would be different the next time you ask, so there's no point in answering this.

FAVORITE weather?
Cold, cold, cold. ;)

FAVORITE enemy?
I have the same answer to this one as to the "FAVORITE friend" question. These things are too dynamic.

FAVORITE hobby?
Tweaking, writing while tweaking, just tweaking, tweaking with tweaking, and oh, tweaking.

FAVORITE color?
Red. Black runs a close second though.

FAVORITE food?
Sheesh, don't ask me now, everything sounds bad to me. No food! Food is bad. Urgh...

FAVORITE expression?
Tabula rasa. Literally. That's "blank slate" for the three of you who didn't know. Yeah, you, don't look away.

FAVORITE website?
sixthseal.com ;)

FAVORITE book/magazine/newspaper?
Well, I've considered many books to be my favorite books in their time. It's another unanswerable question.

FAVORITE song?
I don't like it per se, but it's the perfect theme song to my life.

Green Day - Geek Stink Breath

I'm on a mission
I made my decision to lead a path of self destruction

A slow progression
Killing my complexion and it's rotting out my teeth...

I'm on a roll
No self control
I'm blowing off steam with methamphetamine

Well, I don't know what I want
That's just all that I've got...
And I'm picking scabs off my face...

Every hour my blood is turning sour
And my pulse is beating out of time
I found a treasure filled with sick pleasure, and it sits on a thin white line

I'm on a mission
I got no decision
Like a cripple running the rat race

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one gets filled first.

FAVORITE resto/fastfood/coffee shop?
I can just eat anywhere when I want to eat...I'm not a picky eater.

FAVORITE holiday/occasion?
Chinese New Year.

FAVORITE thing/possession?
Digital camera.

FAVORITE exgirlfriend/exboyfriend?
Oh, I'm not going to touch this one with a foot long pole...

FAVORITE get-up?
Slacks, t-shirt and sneakers.

FAVORITE past-time?
Figuring out ways to overcome sobriety.

FAVORITE place?
Right now? It's in this chair, in my room. I don't want to move.

FAVORITE brand of JEANS?
Quiksilver. Just coz of the reasons I bought them - ran out of clothes on top of Mt Buller while skiing and snowboarding.

FAVORITE TV show?
I don't watch TV.

FAVORITE radio station?
I don't listen to the radio...

FAVORITE embarrassment?
The time I went on a high dose shrooms trip and took a hit of nitrous oxide and achieved total mind-body separation. Those are fancy words for "the time I embarrassed myself in front of innumerable strangers and friends while totally fucked up on magic mushrooms".

FAVORITE gift that you received?
I don't have one...but it'll always make me happy when it's from someone unexpected.

FAVORITE member of the family?
Hmm...I don't know...they're all great in their own way.

FAVORITE gift that you gave to someone?
My trust.

FAVORITE person (last month)?
I really can't think of any...

FAVORITE person (at present)?
It's hard to think of one...I'll go for Ah Boon, he has this knack of knowing when I'm in the mood to talk.

FAVORITE fad/craze nowadays?
Beats the shit out of me...I don't follow fads or crazes.

FAVORITE game?
Seizure Chicken. It's this game where low seizure threshold people (like benzodiazepine dependant people) increase their chances of a seizure by taking a substance that lowers the seizure threshold further (like crystal methamphetamine). It's like playing chicken with a seizure...you basically tweak for as long as possible while not taking benzos. Fun, fun, fun!

WHAT IS YOUR WISH?
World peace.
Yeah right, fuck that altruistic shit.
I want people to remember me for the great things I did (which numbers at zero, on last count) after I die.

Last words:
For God said He would send His one begotten Son to lead the wild into the ways of the man...follow me...
Eat my flesh, flesh and be my flesh...
Come with me...
Hail Mary!

Posted in by Huai Bin at 05:11 AM Permalink | Comments (15)

EPF, SOCSO and SPT (the little known tax) for Dummies

I have just received my paycheck for May - the fattest legitimate check I've ever received, at RM 1,992.25. Yes, this is the monthly sixthseal.com financial transparency post again. ;) Anyway, my salary is RM 2,200 (just got a RM 200 pay increase) but to understand the culling that occurs before you receive your check, there are three concepts that you need to understand - EPF, SOCSO and the obscure SPT.

EPF is a "forced savings" scheme which is mandatory for all Malaysian employers and employees. Basically, a certain percent of your monthly paycheck goes into this fund. The current employee contribution is 9% though that will change back to 11% in a couple of months. The employer contribution is 11%.

SOCSO is basically a social security cum insurance contribution which ensures you against accidents in the workplace. For example, if the keyboard somehow zaps you while you're working and you get chronic convulsive disorders as a result of that, SOCSO will pay you every day and give you free clonazepam every day too.

SPT is the tax that's calculated after the net pay. Thus, I sharpened my math skillz (which is only done on rare occasions, like during paycheck calculations ;)) and figured out the deductions. Actually, I didn't have to, since the pay slip states it out pretty clearly.

Base salary = RM 2,200

My EPF contribution = RM 198
That's 9% of RM 2,200

My employer's EPF contribution = RM 264
That's 11% of RM 2,200

The total EPF a.k.a. "forced savings" per month = RM 198 + RM 264 = RM 462
Thus, I can be assured that no matter what I do, there's RM 462 automatically saved (doesn't really work that way, but just to make it easier to understand).

Now, for the SOCSO bit, my contribution is RM 9.75.

Thus, RM 2,200 - RM 198 - RM 9.75 = RM 1,992.25

That's not the end of it either. Going back to the final tax, there's another little known levy for certain employees called the Special Pleasures Tax (SPT).

The SPT is different for different people.

The ones amongst us who indulges in the paid pleasures of the flesh have to pay Sexual Pleasures Tax (SPT).
Those of us who would rather go clubbing are taxed with the Saturday Party Tax (SPT).
The cigarette and cigar smokers will have to pay the Smokers Premium Tax (SPT).
The alcohol imbibing population is confronted with the Sobering Piss Tax (SPT).
The lovers of the green will have to pay the Stoner Population Tax (SPT)
The Caucasian community here is hit with the Sarong Party Tax (SPT) for their weekend trysts with the locals.

The few and frugal amongst us, who considers the bottom line as fun however, is lucky enough to call it the Savings Premium Tax (SPT), which goes back into their account and collects interest.

What is my SPT? It's called the Shimmering Prism Tax (SPT), which is amongst the highest levies of them all.

I'm not going to tell you how much the Shimmering Prism Tax costs, but it's a shocker when you sit down and think about it. It's quite sobering, really...I'm going to slowly opt out of it now...

It's one fuck of a tax, this SPT. It's no wonder some call it the Super Powerful Tax (SPT).

So...what is your SPT?

Posted in by Huai Bin at 06:42 PM Permalink | Comments (16)

Hard! Hard! Mi Goreng

This inappropriately named snack was found at a grocery store near my workplace today. It says Hard Hard Mi Goreng Perisa Ketam, or Hard Hard Crab Flavored Fried Noodles.

This is what the Hard Hard logo looks like. It rather resembles a phallic structure with some sheath over it, presumably to avoid er...crabs. The logo even has shows having its cap "blown off" the top, so to speak.

This is what Hard Hard keropok looks like. We now know that it not only has crabs, but genital warts as well...

However, I'm rather dubious about marketing crab infested and wart filled phalluses (phalli?) as edible material towards children. This is a very dangerous precedent to instill towards young, impressionable minds. I think I'll write a letter to the Consumers Association of Malaysia to convey my concerns about this disquieting product. Excuse me...

Posted in Snacks by Huai Bin at 06:40 PM Permalink | Comments (18)

Sahip brandy

Sahip brandi (brandy) is another locally made "compounded brandy". It retails for RM 20.60 and can be recognized by the prominent Sikh riding on a horse label. The brandy contains 40% alcohol. I'm not a big fan of Sahip though...the "fusel oil smell" is particularly strong and I associate that smell with cheap liquor. Anyway, if you don't know what fusel oil smells like, buy some lacquer from your local hardware shop and have a good whiff. ;)

Well, beggars can't be choosers, so let's move on to the non-taste related characteristics of this locally distilled brandy. It's made in Selangor by Vintage Jaya Sdn. Bhd. The effects are rather pleasant, and this is nice and chuggable if you ignore the fusel oil. It will get you the ethanol effects that you're after...at a relatively cheap price. However, if you balk at the smell of fusel oil in your drink, you'll probably want to avoid this. It's pretty common with certain distilled liquors and Sahip is one of them.

Posted in Ethanol and tobacco by Huai Bin at 06:45 PM Permalink | Comments (17)

Canned oysters

I've always wondered about oysters in a tin...are they any good? I decided to get one to address this pressing question. This is S&W Fancy Whole Smoked Oysters from Korea. I can understand canned fish...but I've always thought whether canned oysters would taste the same as fresh ones, or at least bear some resemblance to it.

It comes in a small flat tin inside a cardboard insert. It costs RM 9.80. The back of the packaging read "S&W Smoked Oysters - Simply Wonderful. A tasty snack specially selected and smoked over sweet woods for a delicate flavor". Hmm...we'll see.

The actual flat tin is unremarkable - there are no marks on it, just a plain container, with a pull up ring.

Here be oysters...

It didn't look all that good to me. The oysters are squashed pretty tightly inside the tin, packed like...er, sardines in a can. I ate a couple.

The ones in the middle are rather brittle in texture, and I would not have associated it with oysters if it was a blind taste test. The ones towards the side of the can, however, maintain the springy and moist texture I associate with mollusks. I wonder if this anomaly is due to the canning and preservation process.

Nevertheless, I pronounce canned oysters as Good. It may not look so good, but at least it tasted somewhat like smoked oysters. I'm not a big fan of canned food, but this one is alright - it adheres to the smoked oyster taste and texture.

Posted in Snacks by Huai Bin at 06:54 PM Permalink | Comments (40)

Black Kingdom: Chapter 5 - "Chink, go back home!"

Sam had disappeared. He said something about having to get away from everything for a while and Victoria told me he's not likely to come back for at least a couple of weeks. I guess Sam was the one who's "my friend" in that group, because I started declining suggestions to go out when he wasn't here. It didn't feel the same without Sam, for some reason.

Anyway, one day Tom came up to me and asked me whether I wanted to watch a movie at Hoyts in the city. I was a bit puzzled coz I don't remember him liking English movies. I didn't ask him about that though...and it didn't matter anyway, coz he told me when we took the bus to the city. He confided that he wanted to improve his English proficiency to get Kiwi chicks and asked if I could help him out. Well, I don't mind, though it proved to be very challenging, since his literacy level was in the lower percentile, compared to his ESL class.

He had thought that watching movies would be a good start - by exposing himself to conversations by people who speaks English as their first language. I also started talking to him in English, and this took a sizable chuck of conversation time since I basically had to translate things twice. I remember watching George of the Jungle and Star Wars: A New Hope (they re-released the re-mastered and digitally enhanced film) back to back and by the time we walked back, it was close to midnight.

I was still tutoring him on English as we walked down the street when he suddenly asked, "Are they talking about us?". I looked around and didn't see anyone except this group of people who just came out of a bar and puzzled, I turned back to him and asked who he was going on about. He gestured at the group. I didn't pay attention to them before, so I started listening. I did not hear anything unusual, apart from the general inebriated chattering of friends after a drinking session.

"I'm sure they're laughing at us", he said insistently. I listened but I still don't hear anything about us. I stopped and said, "Look if you're so bothered about them, we'll just let them pass and then you stop being so paranoid". This apparently wasn't a very wise thing to do because the other group was just behind us, and, having their reflexes impaired by alcohol, bumped into me. The guy that did so nearly spilled his bottle of beer and promptly stepped back to avoid spillage.

"Hey, watch it", he muttered indignantly.

"Sorry", I said. I looked at their group - there were three guys and two girls, locals. Tom told me in Mandarin, "Why are you saying sorry? Let's beat up those people, they were laughing at us, I'm sure. Let's beat them up."

I told him not to be stupid, we can't win this fight and they didn't do anything wrong anyway, and I did make the guy bump into me. He wouldn't give it a rest though, he kept on wanting to fight them. I later learnt that Tom is very sensitive about laughter. I noticed that the guy standing the furthest away from me looked like he wanted some trouble too. Sure enough, infused with Dutch courage and suffering from Ethanol Ears, he loudly asked me whether I did it on purpose.

Now, this person had attempted to elevate the situation. I didn't want to get into a fight just to entertain this guy. Oh, and we were outnumbered, unarmed and overpowered (gauging from the size of the three men). ;) I didn't want feel like I was intimidated either, so I ignored the guy trying to instigate matters and looked at the guy who just bumped into me. I figured it was just between the two of us. "Nah, mate. It was an accident, didn't hear you coming from behind", I told him and smiled casually.

He shrugged and said "No worries", and he led his girlfriend down the street again. His friends followed his lead, and it seemed that that was that...until the Dutch guy, whom I presume is one of his friends, turned back as he was walking away and sneered:

"Chink, go back home!"

I said it before I could think of the consequences. Things started going at fast forward now, I saw myself walking up to them and shouting "What did you say, you motherfucker?" and all of sudden Tom was asking me "He called us chinks, didn't he? I know what that means! Let's get him!" and I was picking up a bottle from the side of the road and shouting "Hey, white thrash, where's the fire? Can't wait to get back to fuck your sheep eh?" and then two of the guys stopped while the third was dragged off by his girlfriend, saying "Let's just go, honey".

The world started to return to normal time and I found myself standing in front of two visibly pissed off guys who were much taller than me, not to mention much larger than me. The remaining girl looked like she won't mind having a go at me as well...and I realized that she's not the only one. I saw the bouncer at a club nearby looking at me in an unfriendly manner and several passer-bys glared at me. Oops...

I'll be honest with you and tell you that I was already regretting my impulsive manifestation of anger. I looked over at Tom. "I think it's time we made a quick exit," I told him in Chinese. He nodded and we bolted back down the street. Neither of us made it. I saw one of the guys sprinting after Tom and I was wondering why he's overtaking me, when suddenly, I felt my shirt grabbed from behind. The adrenaline was pumping through me, and I turned back and punched blindly at the guy behind me. I ran across the road, taking a sudden right, and felt him behind me, and surprisingly, I could not outrun him.

He caught up in seconds and gave me a right blow to the head. My punch did not affect him, but I couldn't say the same for his, coz I was sprawled against the railing beside the sidewalk. I was dizzy and tried to hit him again, but only got air. I have to admit that I wasn't fighting back because I was brave. Au contraire. I was fighting because I was scared shitless. It was the only thing I could think of doing. I tried to hit him again and failed. He punched me in the stomach and I felt like oxygen was straight vacuumed out of me.

I won't romanticize things...that made me gasp for air on the floor. I couldn't think about anything except that I needed to catch my breath and the guy kicked me in the ribs while I was down. That hurt something awful too, but everything was rather blurry now anyway. I remember seeing the bouncer standing there impassively. I remember seeing the people in the cafe beside that pointedly ignoring the scene outside. I can't say I blame that, I did insult them by proxy. ;)

The guy was about to kick me again when his girlfriend said "No!", and pulled him away. I caught my breath and tried to get up with the help of the railings...and I somehow got myself standing again, and I thought..."Hey...I'm still alright". I looked at the guy arguing with his girlfriend and pretended to be in great pain (well, I did feel pain, but it wasn't that bad) and stumbled to the general direction back while doubled over. I didn't know what possessed me, but I knew what I was going to do before I did it.

I saw the guy look at me from the corner of my eye, but I still pretended to be in a great deal of pain and he turned towards his gf again and I just took a step over and fucking drove my knee up as hard as I could to his crotch. I think we both screamed at the same time. I overdid it and apparently hurt one of the muscle groups in my thigh. His scream was gratifyingly effeminate though.

My apologies, there are no rules in a street brawl and everything is fair game. I think I pilfered some of his family jewels, because now he's completely in the fetal position while his girlfriend was screaming for help. I felt powerful though, hell, I felt wonderful. I kicked him repeatedly in his head, each time leveraging the barrier to go for brute force, making his cranial structure forcibly come into contact with the metal barrier. I FELT GOOD! Until my sneaker fell off.

Yes, it was that embarrassing. Shit like this only happens in real life, eh...I haven't seen people in the unfortunate position of being de-shoed while assaulting someone in the movies. I have this habit of not tying it tightly. I bent down to get my sneaker (which was stupid, but I wasn't street smart then, just lucky) and was sent flying from a kick from behind. It was more startling than painful, I swirled around and saw that it was the girlfriend who did that.

She has my highest respect. I actually nodded at her for having the balls (or whatever the female equivalent is) to do that to help her boyfriend. She bent down and I looked to the side and saw that the guy is looking like he's going to recover soon and decided to leave. I was hit in the face by a stone. It split my bottom lip and I remember thinking that it was going to hit me straight in the face instead of deviating downwards. I'll give her something, she really has balls.

There was a crowd of people surrounding us all of a sudden, and the bouncer who came over said he had called the police and told me to fuck off and never come back while he's at the club or he'll kick the shit out of me. I thought that was a funny thing to say, I wasn't even in the club he was manning. I saw the girl crying and I saw that I had dripped some blood on the floor from my lip. I did not expect to see the guy's face all blood stained and bruised. I was shocked and fearful. I ran away before the police could arrive.

I was halfway down the street when I remembered Tom. Shit! What happened to him? Did he get away? I didn't know where to go, I can't go back since the sirens were coming into hearing range, so I went to the bus stop. He wasn't there. I went up to 9 ball and shocked the receptionist by my appearance. He wasn't there too. I walked back to the bus stop and decided to just go back to the scene when I saw him walking slowly from the other road.

I caught my own reflection in the mirror and saw that while it's obvious I've been in a violent confrontation, it wasn't that bad at all. Just a split lip and a couple of bruises. I only found out that the really bad bruises were on my chest from where he kicked me in the ribs the next day. Tom looked like he had been given the once over pretty bad. I felt sorry for him, even though he was the one who wanted the fight, coz I was the one who made it happen.

I asked him if he was alright. He somehow blamed me for what happened to him, coz he glared at me and shouted, "Do I look alright?". I later learnt that Tom did not take to losing well and harbors resentment towards anyone who gets out of the same situation better than he does. I was just lucky tonight, it could have been the other way round. It turns out that he had wanted to be like me, to be able to be friends with the Caucasian population in school, and that was why he was so keen on getting me to teach him things.

"Well, let's just go back.", I said. He did not reply, so I just took the lead and hopped into a cab and got the driver to get to his destination. He walked out without a word too. I went on to my place and turned in for the night.

The first period of the next day was Calculus, which I had with Richard. Richard, whom I usually didn't have much to talk about with, must have heard of the incident through the grapevine. I was surprised when he motioned me over to sit beside him said told me this:

"When you go into a fight, always be prepared that you'll be defeated. Losing can mean anything from minor cuts and bruises, losing a leg, turning blind, or even just plain dead. Always be prepared for the worst and resign yourself to that fact you might be seriously injured or even dead. Granted, most altercations won't end up like this...but some will."

"Why aren't you afraid every time you go out on gang fights?", I asked, wanting to know his secret.

He laughed softly and said, "Who says I'm not afraid? Everyone is afraid of death or being mutilated. I just don't think about the possibilities - there are too many, and I just resign myself to fate. You can't go to fight with a defeatist attitude...of course, we all aim to stay alive, but to do that, you have to try your very best to defeat the enemy."

"What about the police? Are you not worried about them?", I asked, thinking about the other side.

"The police? We've already been arrested so many times the police officers for Asian gangs know us by name. I've never been charged though, since no one has ever testified. Asian pride, we solve our affairs internally. Even the gangs who were wronged, they don't talk to the police, no one does over here. It's an honor code, everything is settled internally. I noticed that you always seem to be worried about police more than anything though, what are you afraid of?"

"I'm the type of person who would choose death over a long jail sentence. I'm not cut out to be cooped up. It would drive me insane."

"I think everyone is, to a certain extent. I just don't think about it. The decision to fight has been made, if you think it's worth fighting for, you have enough on your mind already. You'll need to think about whether you're prepared to kill the opponent and risk going to jail. You'll need to think about whether your opponent is prepared to kill you and risk going to jail. The police are the least of your worries. You may not even get out of the fight alive. You may get out alive and escape. You may win. There's so many possibilities that you really shouldn't worry about jail before fighting. You might not even survive and all that worrying would be for nothing, since it's your opponent's problem now. Your priority is to keep yourself alive."

"Oh", he added with a grin. "I heard about you and Tom...he's been telling the story to everyone who would listen all morning."

I was surprised...he usually doesn't come in that early, and I had thought he would sleep in after the night.

"Anyway", Richard went on, "I imagine he told you about the supposed great fight he had with Aaron last year, right?"

"Yeah, I heard it was just the two of them against 7 rugby players, and they walked out", I replied.

"Pffftttt...that'll be the day. I was there; we had come here to hand in our application forms. There was just one attacker. Tom was too scared to hit him. The other people were pulling the attacker off Tom, who was getting the shit beaten out of him. Aaron broke a chair over the guy's head and got restrained too. Then, a teacher came in and put a stop to everything. It's interesting how these Taiwanese likes to talk cock about their "bad boy" stories. I remember Tom telling some people when we were first in about how he fought off 20 motorcyclists who came after him with baseball bats. I laughed in his face. There's embellishment and there's straight out bullshit and I can recognize the latter when I see it."

"I noticed that you never got along with him," I mentioned.

"I don't like people like him. Aaron seems alright, but Tom is all talk, no action. His retellings get embellished every time he recites it, haven't you noticed? The last time I heard him telling the rugby story, he didn't even mention Aaron, he told some younger guys he was the only one fighting while Aaron was just standing there. He just wants to convince other people that he's tough, when he's really not. There are some people you can trust, there are some that you can't. Tom belongs to the latter. I don't exactly get along with Boon, but I'll have to admit, he's part of the few you can trust. You'll have been better off with him than Tom last night." he drawled.

"What would you have done?", I asked.

"I would have done the smart thing and avoid a confrontation." he said with a grin. "I'll also follow them back to their house to get their address and then get the rest of the gang and ambush them. There's no shame in postponing a conflict until the odds are in your favor. Going straight in when you're unarmed and fighting people twice your size is stupid. There's always a smart way and a stupid way. There's no room for heroes when you come out and play, heroes all wind up dead. Us Chinese, we use our brains and strategy. Make sure you the one holding the Royal Flush."

"Oh, and come to think of it, I probably won't even do anything if that happened to me. If I fought over every minor transgression, I won't even have time to take a shit." Richard said, and smirked.

"You did pretty well though. I didn't know you had it in you." he continued. "I never thought you had it in you to kick him so viciously. We were surprised. You were pretty sneaky with that crotch retaliation. Heh."

"Tom told you? He didn't even tell me he saw me! Oh well, it doesn't matter anyway, since the fight was basically already over, I was just venting my anger", I said and shrugged.

"Actually, it wasn't Tom who saw you. I was at Players with Ah Bi and the rest of our friends", he said. "We heard shouting and looked down and enjoyed the show."

"What?!?", I exclaimed. "Why didn't you help?"

Richard looked at me strangely and said, "Why should we help?"

I didn't know the answer too. It didn't seem right to say "Just because we're all Asians". That sounded stupidly idealistic and naive. He seemed to read my mind though.

"The Asian community is not as united as you think," he said in matter of fact tone. "You seem to be a little out of touch with the real world, no offence. Like I said, I won't even have time to take a dump if I helped out every one of my acquaintances when they had trouble. However, if you were one of us, that would be different."

I could see the logic behind that. I sat there thinking about this before I noticed Richard was looking at me.

"Oh, I was just thinking about how I haven't been exposed to a lot of different people before coming here," I said.

It seemed like he was waiting for an answer or something. I didn't realize that he meant the last sentence to be a question.

"Listen", he said. "We saw you yesterday night and we think you held your own down there. There are a couple of people from Sibu in Asian Freeway too, you probably know them. I hear you do drugs as well, there would be more than a few people you'll get along with in there."

I was thinking about what he just proposed. I know about them from what Ah Boon told me, and they seem to have a reputation for violence. Is that why they wanted me? Just coz they thought I had the stomach to dish out pain and receive pain? Anyone could do that under urgent circumstances. I thought about whether I would enjoy hanging out with them.

"Hey, didn't all three of you come from Hornby last time? I mean you, Ah Bi and Ah Boon? I wasn't under the impression that Ah Boon is in on this", I thought aloud.

"No, he isn't", said Richard. "He didn't want to, for some reason".

I suddenly remembered what Ah Boon had said in a passing remark. He said that being with this group is more hassle than it's worth. There's always something every day. I was tempted by the offer, since it would offer me protection in the future from such incidents. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I couldn't see myself hanging out with them. I didn't feel like I would fit in.

"You know, I don't think I'll be comfortable joining a gang...though I'm glad you asked. It is very tempting, but I don't think I'm suited to it", I told him.

Richard grinned, saying "I figured you'll say that. You're always going on about the police, worrying about them. Anyway, I'll tell the others that you're not interested. I'm glad you didn't waste my time like some people do. I think you're a little too naive and trusting for the life anyway."

"Oh, and about trust, you'll be interested in something else we saw last night," Richard said, not waiting for an answer. "We could see the both of you actually. You and Tom were not far from each other. The other guy grabbed him just a little down the street, near the dumpsters. The one attacking you failed to grab you and you managed to get across the street. There was a car that nearly hit you, but I doubt you know it or even remember it. The guy would have caught up with you faster if it weren't for that. Anyway, you'll be interested to know what went on near the dumpsters. Tom was just cowering there while the guy kicked him. He repeatedly said "No, no, it's him, him" while pointing at your direction. Ah Bi hates people like these and he threw a bottle at Tom. Unfortunately, it landed beside him and the attacker looked up and saw all of us and though we were going to intervene, so he ran away."

"Now here's the funny thing", he continued, "Tom didn't even know when the attacker left coz he was covering himself. I guessed he just assumed he was done. Never even wondered why there was a smashed bottle beside him. Probably thought the attacker used it on him. Heh. He didn't use the straight way back though, he walked the long way. You were actually just about to kick your attacker in the balls when that happened. The bottle actually caused three things to happen - you wouldn't have had the chance to do that if it weren't for us accidentally scaring the other guy who ran into a sidewalk. Well, actually you would still have the chance to do that, but you'll be in worse shape today coz Tom's attacker would have passed you by after he's done and kicked your ass while you lost your shoe. Hahaha! You had the whole snooker place laughing."

"Anyway, him kicking your ass might have been a good thing, because we saw the police talking to the guy you beat up after that. Now instead of having them charged for assault, you're probably going to be the one. I would not waste a second worrying about that though, coz they don't know you, they don't know your name, they don't know shit. It was a random street fighting between two groups of people who didn't know each other. However, you do have something unrelated which is going to pose a problem to you", he commented.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well, your friend Tom is not going to let this opportunity go...he's going to tell anyone who listens about how he held down five armed Kiwis with just his lighter while you ran away. I know how his mind works. I've seen enough people like him. He's feeling angry about the fact that he lost and he's embarrassed from having to turn up in school looking like that after his alleged super fighting skills, which we now know is non-existent. I wasn't kidding when I said you're naive and trusting. It's so obvious that everyone who talks to you will know your nature. Tom knows that you won't refute him coz you have this thing about "friends", so he'll twist the story to make himself look good and come out smelling like roses, and that, my friend, will make you smell like shit. He's going to ruin your reputation if you don't do something about him. In fact, in the last reenactment story I heard, the figure went up to 7 Kiwis and a large Maori, and he said you immediately turned tail and ran. Oh, and he made this "zzzpppptttt" sound when he described you running away, and mentioned something about seeing you beside him one second and gone the next", he drawled casually.

"I guess that's his way of overcompensating...but what he doesn't know is that we saw everything and Ah Bi is coming during lunch. We're going to give him a surprise", Richard said, looking like he was looking forward to it.

I was very pissed off at this, so I didn't really notice what he's implying will happen during lunch. I had thought of Tom as a friend and I was disappointed in the way he could just do something like this without feeling any conscience. It's one thing to claim all credit, I wouldn't even have minded, and I'll even play along, since it matters so much to him. I just didn't understand why he went one step further from lying to slander. I was later told that he's always been this way, it's his nature to think of his friends as competitors. I think it was a self-esteem and identity issue. I didn't know what I felt anymore and when I heard the recess bell go off, I saw that Richard had already left.

I walked down to the canteen. I saw Richard was there with Ah Bi, telling everyone what really happened. He was totally enjoying himself, describing every emotion and word that Tom had said in detail. I felt sorry for Tom, they were leaving him with no options, no way to save face. He stood there almost crying from shame when he suddenly shouted, "If you're all so brave, why didn't you come out to help?"

Richard only laughed harder and said that it was more like they didn't give a shit about his welfare, even going into details about how they were so entertained, they didn't go back to resuming their snooker game. Ah Bi also offered him more information than he wanted about the intended target of the bottle. I guess teenage guys can be just as emotionally cruel as girls. Tom finally couldn't take it anymore and just ran off.

They watched him go with much amusement...and proceeded to relate how my shoe fell off while kicking the attacker's head and the retaliation where the girlfriend kicked my ass (literally) and would have rearranged my face, if it wasn't for her poor aim. It felt like they were obliged to take some digs at me to appear impartial, which of course they are, except that they didn't like Tom. I had to contend with shoe jokes for weeks, though I didn't mind the jokes about having my ass kicked by his girlfriend. I think that was a really great thing that she did for her boyfriend.

I still don't know why he said all that though. I had wondered if it had more to do with wanting to help me and clear my reputation by speaking out or just coz he didn't like Tom and he had the perfect chance to embarrass him in front of this audience. I very much doubt it was the former.

Richard and Ah Bi walked past me when they've had their fun, obviously having enjoyed it very much. Richard walked close to me and said in a low tone, "I don't know what goes on in the strange mind you have, but don't think that we did this coz we think of you as a friend". He turned towards me and grinned. "We're not that altruistic. I have some advice for you though. You trust people too much. That's wrong. You can't trust people, period. Oh, and this hardly needs saying, but you should really take a good look at some of your friends before you treat them as such."

That was the last time I saw them in school. I heard Ah Bi suddenly stood up in the middle of class and announced that he is HIV positive and he'll not be attending classes anymore. Richard did the same thing. That, to the best of my knowledge, is still standing as the most audacious and outstanding excuse to get out of school. They were not HIV positive, but I heard they announced it so loudly in class that it shocked everyone and they just left while everyone was digesting this and stopped going to school to become full time gang members.

End of Black Kingdom: Chapter 5 - "Chink, go back home!"

[ List of Characters ]

Next: Black Kingdom: Chapter 6 - The Lunch Gauntlet Run [sixthseal.com].

Posted in by Huai Bin at 05:51 PM Permalink | Comments (30)

I'm sending you an SMS

This is art! I realized how messy my desktop was and I thought...some multicolored candies will add a bit of cheer to that! Thus, I intentionally scattered a handful of sunflower kernels across it. I flung it like Picasso (or whoever started abstract art) splashes paint buckets across his paintings. The mess...it became...art! Thanks to SMS!

Yes, I stayed in front of the PC the whole weekend - starting Friday night, no sleep, no food, and just less than a liter of water consumed. That's why it looks like that. Yes! I like to drink Livita with two straws (can drink faster)! And yes, I like sending SMS!!!

Actually, wait...it's one of my least favorite things to do. But I'm sending you an SMS anyway! I'm sending you an SMS, I'm sending you an S-S-SMS!!

My friends asked me to go deep sea fishing on Saturday but I said I can't. They asked, "Why not?"

I said "BECAUSE I'M SENDING YOU AN SMS!!! I'M SENDING YOU AN S-S-SMS!!!!"

And they said, alright. Then some other friends wanted me to go clubbing and I told them, "CAN'T IT WAIT???? I'M SENDING YOU AN SMS!!!!" and they said "But you never even reply SMS why the sudden urge?"

I said, I'm sending you an SMS, let's not talk on the cell phone, can't get through this way. Oh, and you don't want to see me in this state anyway. Why? Because my friend is fried. I mean my brain is fried, and all I want to do is send you an SMS. I am so thirsty now. I'm going to boil some water. I'll send more SMS after that.

What did I do sitting on my ass in front of the computer this whole weekend? I was typing the rest of Black Kingdom, the next one will be up tomorrow night. After I send you an SMS.

Please send me an SMS too, and tell me to clean up all that mess before I crash tonight.

I'm sending you an SMS. I'm sending you an S-S-SMS.

I should go to sleep.

Fuck the bugs crawling all over my skin man...I feel them but there's nothing there when I look. I'm used to it though, I don't mind. Does anyone really freak out and start cutting themselves with razors to get them out? Sounds like an urban legend to me. I mean, you know it's not real and this always happens so why do people freak out to that extent? Personally, I just send the invisible insects an SMS and tell them to stop doing that.

Posted in by Huai Bin at 03:28 PM Permalink | Comments (19)

Black Kingdom: Chapter 4 - Veritas vos liberabit

I came to the conclusion that I would seriously need to evaluate what I've been taught - it seems that most of the things that I've learnt was colored by propaganda. I wanted to try everything the world has to offer, because I seem to have missed out on all the good bits.

None of my Asian friends take drugs (some of them were quite against it) so I told Sam that I'm interested in LSD. Incidentally, there was a rave that weekend, so a bunch of us got some acid tabs from Sam's contact. One blotter cost NZ$ 50, which sounds like an obscene amount, but being high school teenagers in a rather remote country results in paying more for drugs. It was very much worth it though - my first trip was absolutely wonderful!

I was told to take the blotter sublingually (i.e. just put it under the tongue and let it be) and just go with the flow. I didn't even notice when it hit me...I suddenly felt that my thought processes were unusual, nay, bizarre. The ravers around me started leaving visual trails in their movement and I turned over to Sam. His face looked rather distorted so I wasn't completely sure it was him...and I'll always remember what happened when I stared blankly at him. Sam took one look at my dilated pupils, grinned and said "Huai Bin, you're tripping!"

Indeed, I was...and I loved every second of it. This was the time I fell in love with the rave scene. I just felt like everyone had this common bond. I wouldn't describe it as the "candy raver/PLUR" type of bond - raves were (relatively) underground then, and not as commercialized as it is now. Most people took LSD and it just felt like everyone was on the same wavelength. I remember one of my favorite things to do while tripping at raves is to be at the floor and look at someone and imagine what they do in real life...are they university students? Are they office workers? I could think up complex scenarios while on acid and I didn't even need speed to keep on moving from 10 PM till 6 AM.

I also started smoking cannabis with Sam, Victoria, Ryan and some other people I can't remember. We would split the price of a "tinny" (NZ$ 20 worth of cannabis) and share it. I still remember the first time I got really stoned...the four of us were at Sam's cousin's house and we were doing "hot knifes". I was given the honor of getting the first hit, since I couldn't really get stoned the previous times. Sam was telling me how to inhale really hard as soon as smoke starts coming out and handed me a 2 liter Coke plastic bottle with the bottom cut off.

I waited in anticipation as Sam placed two knifes across the hot stove top and Victoria started making little balls of weed. "You're going to love this", she said. The knifes were soon deemed to be hot enough and Sam held one of them with the blade facing sideways and told me to get ready as Victoria dropped a ball on the hot metal surface. The ball of marijuana started smoking almost immediately and I held onto the bottle as Sam clamped the other knife to cover the ball and moved the billowing apparatus under my bottle.

"Toke, toke, toke", the others chanted. I inhaled hard...and was filled with more smoke that I've ever thought my lungs would hold. "Go as hard as you can", Sam said as I inhaled even more of the smoke...I was determined to get stoned this time. I nearly choked when the smoke was all sucked up and I felt like my lungs are bleeding. "Hold it in", Ryan urged me. I held it...and finally coughed and chocked and gasped for air. Everyone was eager to know...how did I feel?

I didn't feel anything...except that my lungs hurt. "Alright, here's the second hit", Sam declared and on I went again. That was the one that pushed me into Cannabis Country. I said I've had enough, would need some rest for my lungs and as I watched the others smoke, I started to notice that sounds were getting muffled and I had this thing pressing against my cheek. I kept on wondering what it was, it took me minutes to figure out it was my tongue. Sheesh.

I looked at Ryan choking on his hit and his expression suddenly seemed extremally hilarious, I couldn't stop laughing, and laugh I did. I laughed and laughed, driving everyone to uncontrolled laughter and when I tried to stop laughing to make my stomach stop cramping up, Victoria looked at me and said "Oh my God, you're so stoned, look at your eyes!" between gasps of laughter. I was still laughing when the others confirmed that yes, I was indeed stoned. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed my bloodshot eyes.

We went into the bedroom to watch TV and suddenly, when some chocolate chip cookies were produced, I felt that I could eat every single one. "It's the munchies", Sam told me. It was slightly uncomfortable, but I liked being stoned. We later all piled into the car and Victoria drove (the concept of responsible driving wasn't exactly familiar then) to Big Gary's, a local chip shop that had huge hot dogs - foot long sausages covered in batter and deep fried and slathered with tomato sauce. I never had anything better.

This was the beginning of the stoners club, we smoked weed almost every night, and I stumbled into my room totally stoned after being dropped off at my home stay. I remember many memories of the Riccarton stoners club - the times we smoked cannabis and attended class and tried not to laugh, the drama practices we went to while stoned, the visits to Big Gary's, and this particularly funny incident where we were smoking at Sam's house and his mother asked us what we were doing.

She shouted from her bedroom and asked what we were up to, making such a commotion so late on a school night. I'll never forget Sam's reply...we were all eating the foot long hot dogs, but he somehow replied "Nothing, we're just eating our hot doughnuts!". It took a while for the comment to register. We all started laughing hysterically, it seemed so funny at that time, and it still sounds funny to me. We were eating hot dogs, but Sam said doughnuts for some reason. He was puzzled at our laughter until I managed to gasp out "It's...hot...hahaha...hot...hahaha...dogs. Not...hot...doughnuts...hahaha!".

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life and everyone was in tears, and when the rest of us started to maintain some semblance of composure, Sam suddenly got the mistake and laughed again, which of course, fuelled another round of laughter from us. The hot doughnuts inside joke became our slang for smoking cannabis. "Everyone up for some hot doughnuts tonight?" was our code for the nightly weed smoking sessions. I loved dropping acid and going to raves, I loved smoking cannabis everyday.

The socio-dynamics of this microcosm called "high school" is understandably different from the real world. I found out that suddenly everyone knows my name and people started smiling and saying hello between classes. I found myself propelled to "cool" status just because I take drugs and I hang out with the "popular crowd". I suddenly had too many house parties to attend, too many raves to go to, too many friends to hang out with and this resulted in some resentment from my Asian friends and other Asians in the school for breaking some unspoken rule about socializing with Caucasians instead of sticking together.

I was accused of not having time for Ah Boon and the rest anymore, and they were increasing incidents of "Kia, wa lang kaki ki, e mai chak wa lang liaw" (Come, let's go, he's not interested in hanging out with us anymore) within my hearing range. I didn't understand this, though I was too busy between puking at drinking parties and getting stoned to care. Gerald was particularly envious at the developments, and, having the same classes as me, he had taken to walking next to me while muttering "Look at all the Kiwis greeting you, it's like everyone in the school knows you!"

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. I had lots of friends, too many things to do, and frequent dates with Kiwi girls, something which was previously unheard of. I lost my virginity (according to Bill Clinton's definition of the word) to a girl named Natalie. I heard that she likes me, and I would not be lying when I say she is absolutely stunning. She's a Kiwi girl of about 165 cm, with big eyes, long brownish blond hair, and a breathtakingly amazing smile. I didn't take much notice of her before as she was one year younger than me.

We had days when we could wear anything to school, and before the next time it happened, I asked to borrow her skirt, to wear to the school as a stunt. I walked her home and she gave me her skirt. She lives with her mom, who's never at home in the afternoon and I spent some time there, talking in her kitchen. She was obviously attracted to me, and I suddenly realized what I could do, but I didn't have the self-confidence to do it right then. I just borrowed her skirt and kissed her and went back home, telling her that I would call her.

I did call her...and asked her to be my girlfriend. She agreed. No one had any problems with different race relationships, since I was considered "one of them". I was surprised though, that the ones who were against it were the Asians in the school. I had apparently broken some unspoken rule again, and virtually no Asian in the school talked to me. I didn't care though, I was on a mission - everyone I know seemed to be sexually experienced (or claimed to be so) and I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by.

I wore Natalie's skirt to school the next day, to the cheers of my friends and to open insults from the Asians who liberally used the word "sia soi" within hearing range. It means "bringing shame (to some group)". I didn't care though. I had done my publicity stunt and she was happy that I actually wore it like I said I would. I walked her back again that day, and this time we talked in her bedroom, which I remember is the first room from the living room.

We kissed...and started to touch each other. I was slipping my hand up her bare thigh when suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, I felt my raging member...fail me. My proud soldier, who was previously standing at full attention, had fainted before action. My rod, transfigured into a prune. A small prune. "What's wrong?", I remember her asking as I suddenly stopped. I panicked and realized that I was only wearing her skirt and I couldn't let her know and in my adolescent clumsiness, I made up an excuse about having to go somewhere with Sam and practically ran out, fearing that the distinct lack of a tent in the front of the skirt will give me away.

She called me that night and asked if I would walk her home again the next day. I reluctantly agreed, fearing a repeat of my performance (or the lack of it, rather). I thought about why I could not get Mr. Happy to introduce himself and came up with several conclusions:

#1 I was worried that my size would be inadequate.
#2 I didn't have any experience and I was worried that it would be obvious.
#3 I was afraid of contracting an STD.

I took off her skirt that night and found the sweet smelling hanky (I don't know what she dabbed it in, but I'll recognize the scent right away if I smell it again) she still had in her pocket. I tried practicing - fantasizing about her, starting with what I would do tomorrow when I walked her home. I found out that I could perform solo quite adequately, and this was proved when I ejaculated into the bed sheets after manually stimulating myself...and immediately regretted it, coz it adds another one to the list:

#4 I was worried I won't be able to get it up tomorrow coz I already had masturbated today.

It took a lot of stern talks to myself while facing the mirror to prepare for tomorrow. I told myself after measuring (from the bottom) that I wasn't as under endowed as I think I am, and convinced myself that I was average and even if I wasn't, it won't matter anyway, since this is about the virgin, me (she told me she's had a sexual partner before, we did talk about sex, which was why I know tomorrow is going to be the day). That's #1 taken care off and I mentally struck it off the list.

There was a problem with #2...I told her that I've had sexual experience before too, when I actually hadn't. I quickly took a crash course in female anatomy from Ryan who was more than happy to sketch this rough schematic of where the insertion point should be. I had read many medical books about the female anatomy and also many non-medical books depicting female genitalia, so I shouldn't be worried, I told myself. But I did double check with Ryan, just in case. I told myself that all the porn and sex stories I've read would have to make up for my lack of experience. Two down, two to go.

#3 was not really hard to get over, since hormones had more of a say in my life then. I got some STD infection rates from a magazine and calculated my chances (I was quite sure that the brand new calculator I was given for school work was used for the first time then) and decided that it was a low risk, considering the fact that she's still 15* and the rates of transmission were acceptable to warrant a tryst with a girl of such aesthetic appeal.
* The legal age of consent is officially 16, but from my understanding of the law, there is a provision which states it is NOT considered statutory rape when consensual sexual intercourse happens between two people close to the age of consent, even though one of the participants is technically a minor, providing the age difference is not greater than two years. It was only a couple of months in this case.

The bit about #4 was starting to worry me when I didn't feel the familiar blood rushing to the trouser snake when I forced myself to have sexual fantasies the next morning...but resolved itself when I jumped into the shower and my third leg stretched itself when the shower water fell upon it. It was sorted then. I will not be nervous. I will not chicken out. I will not let this opportunity where a beautiful Kiwi girl is outright suggesting sexual intercourse pass me by. I shall be a man, not a virgin, when I step back into this house, I told myself. I can do it!

And I did. I must admit that it was a little disappointing though. I had expected my first time having sex to be much more pleasurable than all the climaxes of my 16 years of self-stimulation combined together and multiplied by 10. I wanted fireworks, thunder, brimstone and hellfire! I didn't get that...in fact, I'll admit that masturbating was much more pleasurable compared to my first sexual experience. There was nothing technically wrong with it, mind. It was just a case of rose tinted sexual fantasies exposed to the harsh light of reality.

I walked Natalie home. We went to the bedroom and started kissing. I started caressing her thigh. She went to her mom's room and produced a condom. I went down on her - I had wanted to taste her. This was a mistake, because I had apparently broken some rule of sex which dictates that breasts should be administered to before making a trip down South. She later asked me if I didn't find her breasts attractive. I told her that she definitely has a nice pair of twins, it's just my habit to dine at the Y before eating melons.

But that's digressing...anyway, after I had gotten her (shaved, but you didn't need to know that, I'm sure) beaver sufficiently wet, and aroused, I took off my clothes, and thankfully, my trouser snake was alive and well and eyeing the beaver hungrily. I applied the prophylactic device and made penetration (it was harder than I thought) after the second try. I didn't realize how hard I had to push to get in. I thought that it would be as easy as soap slipping out of clumsy grips in the shower.

It was only after this that I began removing her sweater while we assumed the missionary position. I had a hard time removing her bra, damn those clasp thingies at the back. She helped me to remove the top and I only managed to suck on her...well, nipples, I have run out of euphemisms, before I started feeling tired. I was unprepared. I didn't know sex required so much energy compared to masturbation (which is basically right arm movement). I decided to go make a trip down South again to catch my breath.

It was during this time that I noticed that my trouser snake's sweater had slipped off. It was a day mired with unfortunate happenings instead. I forced myself not to think about the ramifications and concentrated on the figures and the low risk of transmission rate and just put it back on. Anyway, after a little carpet munching (second helpings never tastes right, due to the latex, if you get what I mean), I noticed that she was about to come. I was glad that I was doing at least something right, and I brought her to climax orally, moaning softly. It seems that I was at least quite the cunning linguist, if not anything else.

She pulled me up and then smiled at me and told me to lie down before returning the favor. I have to admit, it wasn't as pleasurable as I thought it was. Teeth. Not nice. It was a little more painful than pleasant so I pulled her up and got her into the woman on top position. She did the exertions this time and before long, I reached the apogee, pulling her down as I did and kissing her. I immediately regretted doing this, for the change in position made my member slip out when I was only about 3/4 into my enjoyment.

I usually manually stimulate myself until the end of the ejaculation so feeling a climax while not having constant friction towards the end was a little strange and slightly disappointing. I couldn't very well jack myself off, so I conceded with rubbing against her thigh. I guess being used to masturbation made the less customized movement of a female a little less intense. However, I was glad that I had actually done the deed and it was with her. :)

It just wasn't what I expected, though I told her that I thoroughly enjoyed it. She confirmed my linguistic capabilities and we hugged while making post-coital talk. I told her I liked her hanky and she told me I can have it. I did keep it for quite a long time, though the last I saw of it was in a luggage back in Christchuch. What happened to Natalie? Well, that's just the thing, nothing happened. I realized that I don't actually love her, nor do I want a relationship with her. We just didn't have much in common. She doesn't take drugs while I do, so the relationship kinda petered out after a while.

There wasn't a breakup or anything like that, we just slowly started hanging out more and more with our own circle of friends until it was a non-verbal but understood "just friends" thing. However, word about our bedroom adventures did get out though, it was the school culture to publicly broadcast such things. She told her friends and I told mine. It was the topic of discussion for a while, before the next couple's exploits were related. I don't know where she is now, but I still remember her name and I have a tendency to automatically be friendly to people called Natalie. I think it's a nice name. I don't consider her my "first" girlfriend, since it basically just teenage hormones and attraction.

Like I said, it was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Here's where the latter comes in...my sister found out I was taking drugs and told my parents and there was a lot of emotional blackmail, downright threats, and intentions for them to come over. It's all the wrong things to say to a 16 year old. I told them I was legally an adult here and didn't need them, and didn't want their financial support. I drank heavily and made no effort to hide the fact that I was pissed drunk even BEFORE going to school. People thought I was hard coz I gulp down Bacardi straight before going to classes. I was just trying to make a point. I told them I was going to move out of the home stay, and I behaved in a manner that made the host extremely receptive to this idea.

I was openly smoking cannabis in my room with my friends. I made a dollar here and there by "passing things on" to other people in the school. I had loud arguments filled with obscenities with my parents. The other tenants complained about the noise and the tobacco and cannabis smoke coming out of my room. There was more arguments with my parents with very nasty things said, which I now regret, including the destruction of several phones in the house. I crashed at Sam's place some nights. I had speed (amphetamine) for the first time and I loved it. It makes me aggressive and confident, which further exacerbated the problems with my family. I took more and more drugs, just out of spite and for the sake of rebelling against my family.

Like I said, I just wanted to make a point - attempt to control me when I'm legally an adult here and I'll do more things that goes against your beliefs.

Thus, my steady relationship with drugs began...the sometimes dangerous but irresistible dance that never ends. The partners have changed through the times, and there is one that I wish I had never danced with. Mesmerizing and seductive, she promised me the world...and I believed her. The longer she holds me, the more certain I am that she would never ever let me go until I can dance no more. However, as I look into the eyes that looks lovingly back at me, silently telling me that I can be all that I want to be, as long as I never let go...and with that hypnotic assurance, I know that I don't ever want her to release her reassuring arms from around me, to break from this warm embrace, weary as I am. Methamphetamine, my bride. Till death do us part...

Mais, si tu m'apprivoises, nous aurons besoin l'un de l'autre.

End of Black Kingdom: Chapter 4 - Veritas vos liberabit

[ List of Characters ]

Next: Black Kingdom: Chapter 5 - "Chink, go back home!" [sixthseal.com].

Footnote:
1. veritas vos liberabit is Latin for "The truth will set you free".
2. Mais, si tu m'apprivoises, nous aurons besoin l'un de l'autre is a phrase from Le Petit Prince. It translates as "But, if you tame me, we shall need each other".

Posted in by Huai Bin at 06:27 AM Permalink | Comments (29)

Photo Friday - Macro

Macro. This photo is taken with the monitor glare as the sole lighting source. There is no post production done on the picture except a re-size from the original 2560 x 1920 file. The elements in the picture depicts...

Tell me what you think it is. :)

Photo Friday - Macro [photofriday.com]

Posted in by Huai Bin at 09:27 PM Permalink | Comments (12)

The longest chicken rice in the world

I have just eaten at the longest chicken rice outlet in the whole world. I was told that the chicken rice here is the best in Kuching. It's called Fang Yuen (opposite Hock Lee Center) and it used to be located at the old bus stop (or something) until it moved to its new premises. I was told to go early coz the place is likely to be full, so we went at 6:30 PM.

It was a sight to behold...the place was indeed full, and we were lucky to secure a seat outside. I noticed that everyone was just...waiting.

Waiting for chicken rice. Except there was none, only neatly stacked plates...

Broth simmering in a lonely manner....

Thus we waited...everyone had drinks ordered and were just waiting for the chicken rice to arrive. This was starting to look rather absurd to me...this had better be good chicken rice, I told my friend. It took one hour (and two drinks) before the van carrying the chicken rice arrived.

They unloaded the goods...and now we have...

Chicken!!!

There was a flurry of activity and suddenly our chicken rice arrived.

The chicken

The rice

The three sauces

The poor people who didn't arrive early enough to secure a seat and had to resort to take away.

Posted in Local food by Huai Bin at 08:15 PM Permalink | Comments (21)

Talented canine artist creates sculpture

This wonderful piece of abstract art of canine origin is a sight to behold. The carefully molded sculpture is made entirely from organic materials. Like all abstract art, it produces different interpretations and evokes different feelings from different people.

I don't know about you, but it's just dog shit to me... ;)

Posted in Hmm... by Huai Bin at 06:05 PM Permalink | Comments (27)

Kapak (axe) brandi (brandy)

This is Kapak brandy - a locally made (Klang, Selangor) brandy that retails for RM 16.10. That makes it a mid priced liquor, perfect for the middle of the month. ;) The beginning of the month starts with premium brands (JD, Absolut, Johnnie Walker etc) and the end of the month is delegated to budget distilled spirits (Langkau, Longhouse etc). I wouldn't say I have a drinking problem, though that can be attributed to denial, since I drink every day. ;)

Anyway, distilled spirits are best consumed on an empty stomach - that's my daily routine...get home from work, take a variety of benzodiazepines (the usual is 20 mg nitrazepam, 4 mg clonazepam and 2 mg alprazolam) and drink before getting something to eat. No, this is not in the interests of harm minimization but if I'm worried about stomach ulcers (er...already have them) or brain damage (meth did that already), I would have stopped my crystal meth consumption...and I never did. :p I don't expect to live a long life, carpe diem and all that cliche shit.

I couldn't be bothered with taking pictures since I got home from work at 7:30 PM (there was a client) so I just made a video post:

Download:
Kapak brandi [sixthseal.com]
9.63 ZIP file, which contains a .mov file. Requires Apple Quicktime.

Transcript:

Hey, you're watching sixthseal.com and this is Cap Kapak...a locally made whisky...er, a locally made brandy.
It says "Brandi sebatian" - a reconstituted brandy or a mixture of brandy...its RM 16.10, pretty cheap, and it contains 37% alcohol.
Make me forget...coz I've had a shitty day...and...
It's just like...it tastes pretty good actually.

I'm pretty tired from not having enough sleep (coffee, ya know ;)) and I just had an argument with my gf (so what else is new?) and I had a pretty shitty day in general. That has all changed now though, I'm feeling borderline normal...in fact, I'll go so far as to say that I'm feeling semi good. :) Yes, I can type while under the influence of alcohol...people who act all fucked up and shit on alcohol irks me to no end.

Alcohol and benzodiazepines...for the times when you can't afford meth to feel like God or ketamine to escape into dreams.

Disclaimer: alcohol and benzodiapines may cause CNS depression (leading to death) so caution is adviced for inexperienced users attempting to leverage on the synergy from multiple CNS depressants.

Posted in Ethanol and tobacco by Huai Bin at 08:19 PM Permalink | Comments (37)

Black Kingdom: Chapter 3 - Bonding

I didn't really get to bond with them until one fateful weekend. It was during lunch break on Friday when Aaron suggested that we go to Palladium that night. Palladium is a club in the Christchurch city which enforces a 21 and above only entry rule due to alcohol being served. I was fascinated (and slightly apprehensive as well) - I've never stepped foot inside a nightclub before. I've always been told that these places are evil and I shouldn't ever patronize one.

The years of parental propaganda wrestled with the strangely attractive notion of doing something "bad"...and it was the latter that prevailed, albeit with slight tinges of guilt. The others have all been in there before and assured me that I won't be asked for ID. I beg to differ coz I have a rather innocent and young looking face. I would not pass as a 21 year old unless the bouncers all happen to have a long due appointment with their optician.

Thus, Aaron got me a fake ID from one of his university friends. The photograph on the ID does not look like me at all and the name was an Indonesian name. I had to memorize the name and the birthday. Anyway, the others told me about the dress code and we arranged to meet in front of the Riccarton High School gates at around 7 PM. We had planned to crash at Tom's house so I brought along a change of clothes in my backpack as well.

I have never stepped foot into any entertainment venues before this...tonight was going to change all that. I was looking forward (with some trepidation) to what my mind's eye imagined the club would be like. The four of us met up at the rendezvous point and walked to Church Corner to catch the bus to the city. We went to have dinner at what would be our regular haunt in the days to come - the Chinese eatery near the town square. The wonton was really good and relatively cheap at NZ$ 6.

It was time to head into the club. I was constantly reminded to walk in confidently and not to look guilty. There were two bouncers outside the door of Palladium and I avoided eye contact with them and tried to walk in nonchalantly behind Aaron...until I heard one of the bouncers say "Hang on mate, can I see some proof of age please?" The others stopped with me while I passed the fake ID to the bouncer. He looked at the card and gave me the once over and asked me what year I was born in.

I faltered before remembering the birth date on the fake ID. "I'm 26, born in 1970", I replied and tried to look insulted at this affront. The bouncer raised his eyebrows skeptically and I silently cursed Aaron for getting a fake ID that puts me 10 years older than I really am. However, the bouncer just shrugged and handed the card back to me and waved us inside. I'm in!!! We had a good laugh about how Asians must look all the same to Caucasians because no one would mistake an Indonesian for a Chinese.

Palladium was not what I expected...I have been fed with stories about the sinful debauchery and violence that occurs inside clubs was expecting it to be some dirty den filled with society rejects. I was rather surprised to see everyday people in the club - university students, office workers...normal people. There goes another false depiction drilled into me since I was young. We secured a table beside the dance floor and ordered a round of drinks.

I have never had any alcohol before so I sipped my bottle of Heineken tentatively. We had a bit of a boogie at the dance floor and after two hours, Ah Boon noticed that I was still holding the very same bottle, which had barely three small sips taken out of it. He asked me whether I had bought more drinks and I said it's the same bottle from when we came in. He was appalled at the speed (or rather the lack of it) of my drinking. ;)

It was rather funny, now that I think back to it. I told him that I was afraid of getting drunk and didn't feel like drinking it anymore. I handed it to him and he gamely chugged the relatively full bottle down. I wasn't inebriated at all...it was just all that propaganda that made me fear being drunk that prevented me from imbibing the golden amber fluid. I later realized that I have a high alcohol tolerance...

However, that was not true for Tom. He has a very low alcohol tolerance and was completely inebriated and flushed from just one beer and one shot of tequila. He kept on saying he felt like throwing up and later resorted to lying in the fetal position at the plush chairs at our table and told us to wake him when we leave. We left soon after that though, coz Tom was complaining that he had a pounding headache.

We went to the 24 hour KFC nearby to get some supper. Tom promptly threw up and did so again during the taxi ride back to his house. He immediately fell asleep when he got home and we got some rest too. It was around 12 PM when we woke up the next day. I had expected that we're going to head home. I was still a newbie at that time and one night was considered a big one then.

However, the others had plans to go play pool at this snooker and pool outlet in the city called 9 ball. I was wondering whether I should go or not, since I was pretty tired...I'm not used to sleeping anywhere other than my own bed so I didn't get much sleep the night before. I was intrigued by pool and snooker centers though, coz the propaganda machine told me it was full of juvenile delinquents so I decided to go along and see if that was true. Strike two, another parent instilled horror story disproved.

Ah Boon taught me how to play pool...the setting of the balls, the way to properly hold the cue, the method of striking without deviating from the aim, how to hit different spots to manipulate the ball movement, how to follow through and stop for positioning, about solid and stripe balls, the angles to hit the balls to pocket them - basically, the rules of the game for someone who hasn't played pool before. I loved it. It helped that the heroin chic looking (in a good way) girl who manned the counter was really friendly and hot too. ;)

It was night when we left and we grabbed some fish and chips to eat while waiting for the bus back.

End of Black Kingdom: Chapter 3 - Bonding

[ List of Characters ]

Next: Black Kingdom: Chapter 4 - Veritas vos liberabit [sixthseal.com].

Posted in by Huai Bin at 08:11 AM Permalink | Comments (17)

Curiosity review (free book offer)

I will do the review of the book Curiosity before going into details about how a free review copy was mailed to me by the author's wife via their publishing house. I just got the book on Friday and I have to state that I received the book free, so if you think that's going to bias my review...you're absolutely right. ;) Nah, I'm kidding, I'll do a proper review.

Curiosity is written by Gerald Allen Wunsch and published by AuthorHouse and comes in a paperback format. The cover of the book is printed on full color glossy high quality cardboard. The pages of the books are printed on acid free "pulp-like" paper, and there seems to be some inconsistencies in the typeface (poor printing) as shown below. That's the most extreme example though...the fonts are mostly printed properly, unless you look too hard.

I finished reading the book in less than an hour. It's not meant for my age group - Curiosity is a children's novel. However, I did learn something from the book. I did not know about the Underground Railroad (upon which this book is based) and how it ties in with the American Civil War, the slave trade and the revolution. That makes it interesting reading - the book is based on historical accounts, so it's informational as well as readable.

The protagonists are two girls named Ginger Wanamaker and Irene Fong. The book goes out of the way to introduce cultural diversity, which isn't a bad thing. The best thing about this book is the "Choose your own adventure" type ending to certain chapters. This is illustrated in the photo above - the reader can flip to the back of the book to learn about real information.

This excerpt is about Wire Fox Terriers and contains interesting information about these dogs. The dog in the book is based on the author's own dog. There are a few situations that are based around the author's life and some characters are based on the people around him. My only gripe about the footnotes is that it only appears in the first few chapters and tapers off towards the end of the book.

The content of the book is interesting - it slips themes of racial tolerance and historical accounts in the fictional story. I imagine that some parents would want a book like this for their children. It manages to keep the reader interested in the adventures of the protagonists while telling a historical narrative and indirectly promotes cultural tolerance. The other good thing about it is that there's a list of web sites at the end of the book for people who wants to read further into the Underground Railroad.

I would prefer to rate a book by the "Whether I'll buy it or not" criteria instead of giving arbitrary scores. Would I buy Curiosity? No, but hear me out. It's coz I'm not in the target audience and my reading interests lie elsewhere. I just bought The Road of Excess: A History of Writers on Drugs and The Strength of the Wolf: The Secret History of America's War on Drugs from Amazon, so the subject matter of books I like is not exactly a big secret.

The better question to ask is "Would I buy Curiosity for my kids?"
I would.

I started reading at a very early age and I fully expect my children to surpass me so I'll recommend this for children aged 5 and below. I hope that my progeny would understand the themes this book goes into before that age, since children are supposed to be faster, stronger, better than their parents and I had understood complex themes when I was 7. I should note that the book is suggested for children aged 9 - 12 though. The Amazon list price is US$ 11.45 (RM 43.51), which is a bit steep for Malaysians due to the currency conversion, but it'll be fine for countries with a more robust currency.

Thanks to Martha Wunsch and AuthorHouse [authorhouse.com] for the free review copy. Cheers to The Book Review Blog [blogspot.com] email digest for passing along the information for getting the free review book. I don't know if the offer is still valid, but here's the email in its entirety:

From: Martha Wunsch
Date: Tuesday, March 30, 2004 8:48 AM
To: thebookreviewblog@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [thebookreviewblog] Anyone want a free review book?

Here's ordering information from my publisher. It's at the top--
Jerry Wunsch

***For Immediate Release***
Tuesday, March 30, 2004

To request a free review copy of Curiosity:
Phone: 1-888-519-5121, Ext. 244-Leave message, or
E-mail: cmcglashan@authorhouse.com or FAX: 1-812-961-1023.
(Include your street address for UPS delivery. Charlene will inform
me of your request.)

Kids Find Underground Railroad Site-

Children's novel offers Underground Railroad terrorism in a
gentle, modern story

Ginger Wanamaker and her best friend, Irene Fong, along with
a terrier's help, make a great discovery. Ginger's grandparents'
home was once a station on the Underground Railroad! In Curiosity
published by AuthorHouse in July 2003 (ISBN: 1-4107-3699-7; LCCN:
2003092263), Gerald Allen Wunsch tells this adventurous children's
story through Ginger's eyes.
Laird, a spirited wire fox terrier, accompanies the girls
and becomes a hero in the story through his digging and exploring.
The Wanamaker's home is an artifact of a critical movement in
American history, and, for these knowledge-thirsty young students,
it opens a door to new learning.
Irene's parents were born in Suriname, South America. Her
ancestors were slaves. These details convey the message that
slavery existed all over the world, not just in the United States.
This multicultural emphasis in Curiosity broadens young minds. Boys
and girls will have fun reading about Ginger and Irene's
discoveries, while learning about the Underground Railroad from a
contemporary perspective.
The story text, sprinkled with "Whispers" interludes, also
links to a 30-page "More Information" section in the back of
Curiosity. Illustrations by Irene Joslin, award-winning cartoonist
for the Brown County Democrat in Nashville, Indiana, enliven the
story line.
Wunsch is a retired immigration attorney who also served in
the 1970's as career diplomat with the U.S. State Department. His
foreign assignments included Hermosillo, Mexico, Paramaribo,
Suriname, and Amsterdam in The Netherlands. Curiosity is his first
children's book. Since retirement, Wunsch has contributed four
articles to The Sacred Octagon, an MG sports car magazine. He lives
bordering the Hoosier National Forest with his wife Martha and their
terrier friend Laird, featured in Curiosity.
Curiosity may now be found in 34 public libraries and
schools. It is currently sold at Viewpoint Books and the Visitors
Center in Columbus, Cover to Cover Bookstore in Madison, the Levi
Coffin House in Fountain City, and Conner Prairie, the Indiana State
Museum, and the Indiana Historical Society in the Indianapolis area--
12 independent bookstores in all. On-line it may be purchased from
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Walmart, and many other on-line
booksellers. You can order Curiosity at any Barnes & Noble or
Borders mall bookstore or directly from our supply at home
(mgwunsch@comuage.com).
Here is a roundup of a few Curiosity events. On September
23, Bud Shippee of Seymour's WQKC-WZZB (93.7FM; 1390AM) interviewed
Jerry during his "Breakfast Club." The next day Patty Spitler
interviewed Laird and Jerry on Indianapolis's CBS affiliate, Channel
8, during the News8 at Noon show. The canine/author duo appeared
again at the Jackson County Public Library November 15 for a
children's program on the Underground Railroad followed by Laird's
clicker tricks and a book signing, the third such public library
program. They presented a program on the writing process at
Cortland Elementary School before 120 children November 21. Jerry
and Laird were also at the Indiana Historical Society's Holiday
Author Fair on December 7 and are planning eight Underground
Railroad programs at public libraries and schools in February. They
recently finished a program at St. Ambrose Elementary February 2
before 4th, 5th, and 6th graders and with 500 children February 13
at East Side Elementary. Five other elementary schools have
requested their appearance before the end of the 2003-4 school
year. Also, look for them at the Conner Prairietown Market April 24.

For interview requests, contact Laird for his tricks and Gerald
Wunsch, 10019 North State Road #135, Freetown, Indiana, 47235-
8517,or call (812) 497-0067, or e-mail mgwunsch@compuage.com.

For further description and photos:

Until April 24th: http://www.connerprairie.org/Events/gaWunsch.asp

http://www.wirehairfoxterrier.com/resources/wunsch.htm

http://www.1stbooks.com/ & www.amazon.com
(type in "Gerald Allen Wunsch"-Curiosity)

Posted in by Huai Bin at 04:05 AM Permalink | Comments (19)

Sapu days

Those dreaded Fridays and Saturdays...also known as Sapudays. I hate them!

Sapu is the colloquial term for police drug raids at entertainment venues.

The night started out at 99. It was packed and pretty uneventful.

Some people had some pills (not me, of course *cough*).

We headed down to Waterworld and found that it was closed. This is a bad omen.

We adjourned to Earthquake. This venue is usually packed during the weekends but was surprisingly empty for a Saturday night.

Our group sat there for a while before one of the Earthquake staff (we know them) whispered to us that there are sapu vans outside. Time to leave? The first photo was taken there - it's one of the sapu vans, there were 2 police trucks preceding that, but I didn't get a photo and I don't want to get too close anyway for obvious reasons. It turns out the police was just scoping out the area - staring at the patrons, most of which started leaving in droves. The place was soon empty. Earthquake didn't get raided (coz it was empty) but since there was no one there anyway, we left.

We went to Passion at 4 1/2 mile. It was closed early too (it was just 3 AM when we got there). It seems that Kuching is the target of the inaugural drug raids at entertainment venues again. *sigh*

We tried the MJC outlets, but all of them were closed too. News of raids spreads fast and no chemical brother would want to be in one of them when the police barges in, except foolhardy ones. ;) We saw three sapu trucks filled with people while on the way back...now that's a really bad omen, so we decided to call it a night.

Related:

Orange blanks pill review

Pill name: Orange blanks
Contents: Tested out to be MDMA
Circa: February - May 2004
Rating: 7/10

It's a relatively strong MDMA pill. It has no logo or imprints whatsoever - people just ask for it by name (i.e. the orange pill). It's quite nice, if you like MDMA...but MDMA has lost its magic for me. I did feel classic MDMA characteristics, but I'll go for crystal methamphetamine or ketamine any day. MDMA just doesn't feel good to me anymore. Such is the life of a tweaker...nothing beats good old crystal meth.

Marquis:

Reagent to black indicating MDMA.

It's MDMA, from reagent testing and personal qualitative experience. Go for it if you still like pills, stay away if MDMA has lost its magic for you.

Those dreaded Fridays and Saturdays...also known as SAPUDAYS. I hate them!

Posted in by Huai Bin at 04:29 AM Permalink | Comments (18)

Lam's Place - from Menggatal, Sabah

Lam's Place is the new eating establishment in Chong Lin Park specializing in ngui chap (beef noodles). It just opened a couple of days ago - it's located right beside Waterworld. The place has a banner that says: From Menggatal, Sabah's "Ngui Chap" (Beef Noodles etc) & others available now! I have a juvenile sense of humor so I didn't really get over the "menggatal" reference. Menggatal can mean ham sup or horny...a rather unfortunate name for a town.

This is what the interior looks like. It's pretty packed, considering I arrived late. Their opening hours are from 8 AM - 2:30 PM and 5:30 PM - 8:30 PM. The seating arrangements (a pretentious word for tables and chairs ;)) consists of perfectly square wooden tables meant for 4 people.

They have a variety of condiments on the table and this place operates by writing down your order into a bill, which is then tabulated and placed in an ornament on your table. You take it to the cashier and pay the bill when you're done.

Here's my order - Raw beef & beef balls with noodles (RM 5.50). The wet (soup) version is basically the same thing, but they combine the noodles in the big bowl of soup instead of in a separate bowl. Lam's Place serves beef noodles as its staple (both the wet and dry version), though you can opt to have rice to substitute the noodles if you want. I'm not a big fan of soup dishes, so I went for Raw Beef and Beef Balls noodles (dry).

This is a closer look at the noodles. The noodles taste absolutely great! I can't remember having a more delicious bowl since this beef noodle stall in Sibu shut down. It was infused with a variety of tangy and salty flavors.

Here's a photo of the soup, served separately. There are beef balls floating on the top (don't think they're home made), with beef slices at the bottom, flanked with veggies and bean sprouts. The soup was not as salty as I like it to be, but the salty noodles more than makes up for that. The main portion was very generous too, though I would have liked a larger bowl of noodles.

This is the raw beef slice that's put into the bowl before serving to slowly cook. I love it - the beef doesn't get overcooked this way.

I highly recommend this place if you have a hankering for beef noodles. It's their specialty and they have great service. I'm not sure if the service is the type typical of newly opened eateries or they really do have good service, but that hardly matters considering the food. They apologized for my order taking so late to arrive (I didn't even think it was that long of a wait) and I was asked whether I enjoyed my meal and how my food was when I paid the bill. I told them it was good. :)

I'll reply all the comments later, I've got to head out now. Cheers!

Posted in Food reviews by Huai Bin at 08:20 PM Permalink | Comments (33)

Free McFloat with Big Mac McValue Meal

I haven't been to McDonald's for a while...dropped in this afternoon for a quick lunch after ironing out some annoying bugs and noticed that McDonald's has a promotion going on where you get a free soft serve top up with every Big Mac value meal. It's basically an upgrade of your coke to a McFloat for no extra charge.

I'm rather pa