August 2009 Archives

Hotels are not actually places of accommodation in Sri Lanka. The word "hotel" means curry house, much like a mamak in Malaysia.

I'm not sure why it's called a hotel either but it's a good place for cheap eats and decent food.

Hotels are scattered throughout much of Colombo and I've eaten at several during my short time here. I prefer the small establishments where the locals go.

Most of the locals here order "short eats" - samosas and other deep fried savory rolls during odd hours of the day but the staple food for lunch is:

Rice! It comes in a mound with several sides of curry, pickles and dhall. You are charged by how much you eat and the rice is infinitely refillable (as is the condiments).

To truly appreciate the Sri Lankan culture, it is essential that you eat with your hands. It doesn't take long to master - just use the tips of your fingers to get to the rice.

However, I must warn you that hotels in Sri Lanka do not believe in serviettes, probably due to the cost. Instead, you have a piece of old newspaper to wipe your hands with.

It's surprisingly effective - newspaper dries your hand and rubs off most of the olfactory offence you have rendered upon it.

You know the best thing about hotels in Sri Lanka? The rice dish cost me LKR 50 which is about USD 0.50 or RM 1.70. It's very easy on the wallet! :)

I must warn people without a cast iron stomach not to drink the water though. It's not boiled. I saw them filling it at the tap. >.<

Posted: 8:34 PM Sri Lankan time

I know, who the hell eats at McDonald's when they're on vacation right? Well, I've made it my personal jihad to check out McDonald's in the different countries I visit for their localized menu items.

It's like stamp collecting - how do you explain it? I can't, an inexplicable urge came over me and I told the tuk tuk driver: "Bring me to your leader!"

I meant bring me to the nearest McDonald's.

The first regional difference is their sauce - instead of chilli sauce, their chilli sauce is infused with garlic. Nice! There is no regular chilli sauce here.

McDonald's is renowned for their signature Big Macs. The Big Macs in Sri Lanka comes in two variants - beef and chicken (due to the religious constitution - Hindus don't eat beef).

The staff is very friendly and accommodating - but perhaps only to foreigners, since I noticed they were decidedly cold towards a local who was short LKR 50. I paid for her; it's only RM 2, not a big deal to us, my good dead for the day. ;) I also got a free Coke from this scratch and win contest they're having. It was either a drink, a t-shirt or a trip to South Africa to watch...you guessed it, cricket!

I ordered a McRice with Chicken (LKR 220 or USD 2.20). It also comes with the option of fish (since Sri Lanka is an island in the middle of the ocean) or vegetables (a sizable community here is vegetarian).

The chicken is nothing to write home about - it's just a piece of fried chicken breast.

However, they do have a rather tasty sauce of onions with gravy that adds that extra dimension of taste to the chicken. The rice on the other hand, is really something I would take the time to draft a long correspondence back for!

The interesting thing about their rice is that it's heavily flavored by various spices and comes with a side serving of shallots. I notice that Sri Lankans loves their red onions. It's served at almost every meal!

I also got a Vegetarian Burger with Cheese (LKR 360 or USD 3.60). It's obviously not for vegans due to the cheese but it tastes good - like the Vege Burger I had in Melbourne.

I was stuffed at that point but I insist on trying all their different menu items so I had a Chicken Big Mac (LKR 410 or USD 4.10) to go. It's unusual, tastes like a McChicken instead of a Big Mac, but with two all-beef chicken patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

The other thing I noticed about McDonald's in Sri Lanka is that they don't have proper sealed sauces for take away.

They use a flat round container instead. This is how it looks like beside a LKR 5 coin. I'm not sure if this is a recipe for botulism but since it's Maccas I guess they should have reasonable standards, even in Sri Lanka. ;)

McDonald's in Sri Lanka is quite expensive when you consider the currency exchange. I paid the equivalent of RM 12 for a Chicken Big Mac. I don't know how it rates on the Big Mac Index by The Economist magazine, but it's certainly not cheap.

Posted: 10:04 PM Sri Lanka time.

>.<

I didn't have much cash on me in LCCT so I only changed RM 350.22 into LKR (Sri Lankan Rupees). Thus, I had to find a HSBC ATM over here to withdraw LKR and managed to withdraw LKR 30,000 this morning (about USD 300 or RM 1,100) in two batches of LKR 20,000 and LKR 10,000.

The thing about Sri Lankan money is that it's abnormally large and it doesn't really fit into my wallet. In a fit of (ill-conceived) inspiration, I decided to fold the LKR 30,000 and put it in the back pocket of my jeans. I thought this would be a good way to budget since I won't touch that money and only use the LKR 9,440 from the RM 350 (plus 22 sen) I exchanged at the airport.

*cue fun and games in Colombo*

I took a tuk tuk back to the hotel and realized that I have used up most of the LKR 9,440 during the day and reached into my left back pocket to retrieve the LKR 30,000. It wasn't there.

I searched all pockets, my bags, my dSLR bag and even my wallet but the LKR 30,000 was nowhere to be found.

Fuck! I have walked through a huge portion of Colombo today and had to battle human traffic most of the time so I deduce that someone must have nicked it sometime during my adventures in Colombo.

It should be noted that the missing LKR 30,000 is USD 300 or RM 1,100. *insert expletives*

I'm broke and I didn't even get the chance to spend the money. Damn pick pockets.

Welcome to Sri Lanka. :(

Anyway, on to less depressing matters, I bumped into a reader on the plane here. Hello Jason. A special shout out to Catherine Cherng! Hola!

I also got myself a Sri Lankan prepaid card. I'm on Dialog - a Sri Lankan cell phone provider. Text me at +94779469842 if you need to contact me. Cheers!

Posted: 8:06 PM Colombo time

I'm back with a cooking post! Yes, one of the signature sixthseal.com cooking posts complete with lots of alcohol, dubious ingredients and a healthy dose of obscure references!

You will need:
Organic Black Bean Noodles
Pig's heart (whole - available at the non-Halal section of your friendly local hypermarket)
Scallops
Grozette FORMAGGIO da Pasta powdered cheese
Leggo's Alfredo Pasta Sauce
Grapeseed Oil
Tabasco sauce
MasterFoods Mixed herbs
Onions and garlic

It's a battle of premium vs. proletariat ingredients! The measly pack of scallops set me back a staggering RM 42.35 while the gargantuan whole pig's heart retails at a very affordable RM 3.50.

Let me clarify - this was supposed to be an angel hair pasta dish, but I forgot to get the pasta and thus we made do with this pack of organic black bean noodles. The texture is surprisingly similar and it looks the bit too. Heh!

Okay, to start off, you'll need to ingest some ethanol to get you into a righteous cooking mood. My tipple of choice is Absolut Vodka.

The Tell-Tale Heart. Hmph. I shall give you a heart massage, CPR style.

How do you cook a pig's heart? Beats me, I've never cooked one before. I decided to wrap it in aluminum foil and chuck it into a fan assisted oven for 10 minutes.

It turns out that 10 minutes isn't quite enough so I suggest 20 minutes instead. I also took the liberty of rubbing salt all over the pig's heart for my version of marinating. Heh!

Next comes the scallops - scallops are reasonably fast to cook after defrosting so I just dunked it in warm (not hot) water for about a minute before draining.

With the major ingredients out of the way, let's get to the all-important sauce!

Leggo's ready made sauces already has bits of meat and stuff inside but we decided to fry some onions and garlic and chopped some sausages into it for a heartier sauce.

We used grapeseed oil instead of olive oil for the frying, no particular reason for the choice - it was just there. The sausages were seared for a bit before the entire container of alfredo sauce was emptied into the mixture.

Leave the sauce on (very) low heat and start cooking the noodles.

I put in salt and a dash of grapeseed oil in the boiling water, much like cooking spaghetti. Drain the noodles after 3 minutes. I'll love to inject the word al dente somewhere in here but there's no way to get black bean noodles al dente. Oh wait, I just put it in twice. ;)

I emptied the noodles into a high sided plate and liberally poured the pasta sauce with garlic, onions and sausages on top. This is also where you add the powdered cheese and Tabasco sauce.

The sides are important as a barrier against spillage when you start mixing the alfredo sauce into the noodles.

Add a dash (or three) of mixed herbs and toss the pig heart's on top.

Arrange the scallops on the side and I present to you:  

Alfredo Organic Black Bean Noodles with Scallops and Whole Pig's HeartIt tastes better than it looks, trust me.

You get to bite into the baked whole pig's heart like a barbarian too. Get in touch with your Neanderthal roots yo!

RAWR. UGG HUNGRY!

I pronounce it Good (TM)!

Booth babes.

Skaters.

Graffiti artists.

What do they have in common?

I was at e@Curve to catch the F&N Freestylez Show Ur Moves finals on Sunday. I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch first and was surprised to see the event in full swing way before the finals were slated to kick off.

There were young ladies (the proper and politically correct term for this is actually "booth babes", but who cares about being PC on sixthseal.com) handing out free F&N drinks to everyone at the Curve and I met someone I recognized!

Okay la, I don't even know her, I just wanted to take a photo with her. ;)

Anyway, the place was packed with people trying their hand at the various booths around, which includes a Guitar Hero section and a DJ hut. I see no expense was spared in the event management aspects. It was a rocking (pardon the pun) ambience!

There was a media session at Tony Roma's right before the final B-boy faceoff where we got to:

1. Meet the judges

2. Get a first hand demonstration of what the B-Boy scene is all about

3. Load up on food

4. Camwhore with Jestina

I was surprised to see the moves being pulled off by the F&N B-boys...coz I've seen it before! Street dancing is big in KK, Sabah and while I was doing my time there, some of the boys inside did the exact same maneuvers when someone managed to sneak a cassette in!

It was in fact, almost the sole source of entertainment during my time there so I was naturally quite excited when the beats started pumping out, with the bass reverberations guiding me towards the stage like a moth towards a flame.

I parked my ass (technically I was standing) right in front of the stage to catch the 10 teams in action. I'm not going to feature all of them here, just the ones that really caught my attention. I'll be honest here - there are some teams which were rather mediocre and some crews who blew my mind away!

I felt a bit self-conscious standing in front of the judges (L-R: Boojae, Fiona Jane Gomez, Danny One) though. It just didn't feel Proper (TM) so I moved to the side a little to allow them an unobstructed view of the stage.

Okay, let me give you the lowdown of the F&N Freestylez Show Ur Moves finals:

Feasible Crew (from Sarawak yo, my hometown) came on the scene with buckets and rags for an awesome scene which was part dance and part cleanup crew. I wonder if they were paid for cleaning up the stage. ;)

I like Wakaka Crew's performance - they have a lot of slick moves in their repertoire.

Fresh Beat Rockers from Penang on the other hand tried WAY TOO HARD. Not in the good way if you catch my drift.

N Crew is one of the two crews that have female dancers. There is one lone XX Chromosome in the group, but IMHO, they didn't really impress. It looks like a lot of rehashed moves and a whole bag of clichés and they lack that elusive Stage Presence Factor (TM). I tried to hunt down look for the female dancer but couldn't find her after the event.

Move is the other crew that has female dancers.

Move has two in fact.

They got a lot of applause from the crowd and I think their Moves (pardon the pun) were pretty good too.

No, I'm not biased. ;)

Project Elementz impressed me the most with their costumes and their choreography. The crew managed to squeeze in a story with the short amount of time, with impeccably timed moves.

It's a story about a vagabond...

...who met a rich (but stingy) man, and ended up opening up a can of F&N (and also a can of whoopass).

The choreographed scene has a lot of elaborate and magnificent moves, like this airborne version of Karate Kid meets The Matrix bullet time.

Mad skillz. I was seriously impressed.

The Project Elementz crew was highly entertaining but made a whole mess of the entire stage with their elaborate props. Heh!

This is Elecoldxhot. I like their pure energy and I love the profanity ridden gangsta rap music playing throughout their routine. This crew embodies PURE ENERGY! I was amazed by the calorie burning performance they put on.

The 10 crews in the F&N Freestylez Show Ur Moves finals strutted their stuff and the judges did their thing, and so, I present to you, the winners:

Best Dressed Crew - N Crew

Best Choreographed Crew - Feasible Crew (from Sarawak - represent!)

Most Entertaining Crew - Project Elementz

Most Outstanding B-Boy - Muhamad Haslam from Wakaka Crew

2nd Runner Up - Wakaka Crew

1st Runner Up - Move

Grand Prize Winner - Elecoldxhot

They snagged the grand prize with their hyper energetic performance!

It was a pretty entertaining night and it provides a real insight into the B-Boy and street dancing culture in Malaysia. Cheers to F&N for a great event!

There is one thing I noticed about the B-boy crews though - they have an obsession with huge, flashy basketball shoes. I think it's standard issue for all the crews. ;)

I'm not much of a karaoke singer but I love singing (though some would call what I do yowling). There are two classics which inevitably come up sometime during the night. This was from my trip back to Sibu. The song is a Hokkien number called Ai Pia Jia Eh Ya (Gotta do the blood, sweat, tears thing to succeed).

I can't read or write Chinese so I always struggle (except at the chorus). The song goes:
Something something something
Blah blah blah
(chorus starts)
30% is decided by fate, the other 70% is up to you
You've got to fight your way to success

The other number that tends to be rendered is a song called "Friends". This is usually belted out with much camaraderie and a lot of arms around each other's shoulders. ;)

The rather grueling Project Alpha shoot is over! Here are the Twitpic tweets I've sent in while filming on set in chronological order:

Project Alpha

Makeup. I haz it.

Noooo. My eyebrows!

Lights, camera, action!

Lunch break.

So. Many. Takes.

Fun but tiring day. Still more.

Full day shooting!

It's a wrap for today! :)

I'm cast but still a glamour tag. ;)

Ze press is here!

I'm going to eat fire in 10 min.

Getting makeup done now.

If you don't hear from me later it means I died

I am alive!

Final shoot. Here with @cheesie

@cheesie before her scene.

Make up artists. Very important.

How come I can never do this by myself?

Does the cast eat the props? Yes!

My second last scene. Drinking Part 1.

@timothytiah and @fourfeetnine at the wrap party

Have to be sober for my drinking shoot in 2 hours

Need to drink all. Fucking lethal.

It's a fucking wrap! Drinking Moet.

It is a wrap for Project Alpha. :)

Greetings from a very feminine toilet! I kinda like it actually - it's such a change from my minimalistic bachelors pad.

I met Eddie and Fish Fish just now, who flew over from the US for a day. Cynthia came down (technically up) from Australia. We did the Jalan Alor touristy thing (hey, the food there is good) and...

...Ed came bearing gifts as usual!

Good times with old friends indeed. I'll be heading down to KL to spend time with them before all three fly off again tomorrow.

Unfortunately, my car decided to get up close and personal with a ditch last night so I'm crashing at a friend's place.

Oh ya, Cynthia got a me a car from Bali to replace my totalled car. Heh! I'll be driving this from now on. ;)

Fret not, comrades! I've come up with an FAQ for this extremely common accident!

Q: OMG! I just stepped on a stray electrical socket adapter while going to the loo in the middle of the night! Help! What should I do?
A: Don't panic. Turn on the light and inspect the damage. Did you step on the white part (good) or the yellow part (bad)?

Good

Bad

Q: How do I know if I've stepped on it on the face side up or prong side up?
A: It's easy. If you stepped on the electrical socket adapter on the face side up, it would most likely twist or warp the contraption with no ill effects to you.

However, if you stepped on it prong side up, you will most likely feel a sharp pain followed by a string of profanity consistent with Tourette Syndrome. You will also notice some bleeding on the soles of your feet.

Q: Phew! I've stepped on the white part. What do I need to do?
A: Nothing. Just get another electrical socket adapter if you need it.

Q: How can I prevent occurrences of stepping-on-electrical-socket-adapters in the future?
A: This is a no brainer. Most people won't them lying around in likely paths of foot traffic in your house...so don't!

Q: What if I'm not most people?
A: You'll need to consult this guide frequently and often. It might also help to keep some disinfectant in your house e.g. Dettol.

Q: What if I don't believe in disinfectant?
A: Sure, I understand you just want to go back to sleep after taking a pee. It's all good. However, be prepared to walk gingerly for the next 2-3 weeks, depending on how hard you stepped on it, which is in turn dependant on your body weight.

Q: 2-3 weeks? Are you kidding me? Does it take that long to heal?
A: As a rule of thumb, yes. Wounds in movable parts of your body (palms, wrist, soles) takes longer to deal due to the constant friction and contact you make with various external objects during the course of the day.

Q: Do I have to see a doctor?
A: Most people won't have to. However, if you're a pussy or suffering from haemophilia (which causes your blood to not coagulate properly), it might be a good idea to consider heading over to your GP. At least for the latter.

Q: What's going to happen to the poor sole of my feet after 2-3 weeks?
A: Well, you'll form a hard callus where the point of injury occurred. You'll notice that the skin is significantly thicker and rougher. It's no big deal.

Q: Okay, what if I still want to leave random items lying around the house and walk around in the middle of the night with no lights on?
A: I strongly suggest snapping off the Earth prong. It's the one that sticks up the most (the longest one) and from previous experience, it's the one that causes the most damage. You can also opt to snap off all three for good measure.

Q: Okay, I've done just that. Will I still get injured when I step on it in the middle of the night?
A: Nope, it has now transformed into a nice, benign surface with no pointy bits. It's perfectly safe to step on, kick around, hide under dirty articles of clothing or anything else you leave around without causing any more harm to unsuspecting nocturnal creatures.

Q: Will I still be able to use the electrical socket after that?
A: Hmm...you can try. But how are you going to plug it in without the prongs?

?

Heads up peeps! There's a huge event coming up and it's gonna be the party of the year. Hell, it's a veritable celebration many centuries (2.5 or so, but that could just be a figure I pulled out from where the sun don't shine) in the making.

Kuala Lumpur will be Ground Zero for this global celebration kicking off near simultaneously all over the world from Dublin to New York before hitting our shores.

I'll all set to party like it's going out of style! In fact, I've already done a full dress rehearsal:

Sit on the porcelain throne before you head out. You don't want to be rushing to the nearest WC when you're out and about.

Wiping is important. Do not underestimate the importance of TP after voiding your bowels.

You can never be too rich or too thin...and no one would accuse you of having too minty fresh breath. Brush your teeth!

A clean shave does wonders. You don't want stubble getting in the way of some lip lovin'.

Shower.

Pay attention to your underarms. Lather them well with soap.

Wipe yourself clean with a nice fluffy towel.

Get your wardrobe ready.

Iron your clothes. Creased attire is NOT sexy.

Get dressed to the nines. It's going to be a great night!

Put on your socks...

...and don't forget them boogie shoes.

You're now ready to paint the town red black!

There will be internationally acclaimed artists you can groove to during your revelry and merrymaking.

It'll be a golden celebration in the blackest dark of the night.

Are you going?

I'll be honest here - I've never put much faith in "alternative medicine" like traditional Chinese healing methods, preferring to cement my conviction in Western methods of rigorous medical training and the process of FDA pharmaceutical clinical trials.

It probably doesn't help that I'm a pharmaceutical aficionado and my sister is a cardiologist. My motto used to be "Better living through chemistry...for every problem, a chemical solution!"

Thus, I was (more than) a little skeptical when I took this health check based on some form of non-invasive acupuncture. It was at a PRUhealth event and the health check session started with some rather personal questions.

Straight off the bat, I was grilled about my bowel movements, the olfactory offensiveness of the fecal matter and whether said poop sticks to the bowl or slides right down as slick as...er, shit.

I answered honestly, and gave them an almost-complete medical history, including my damaged kidneys courtesy of a methamphetamine overdose. I used to IV unfiltered ("cold shake method") crystal meth with disastrous results to my renal function and was in ICU for a week coz of that.

Needless to say, I also disclosed my previous problems with substances. You should never lie with insurance...coz you won't be able to claim if they find out. ;)

Anyway, back to The Probes (TM) it involves taking readings from the left and right hands and feet, which explains this rather undignified photo:

I found out that I have hypertension (150/85) which is nothing new - I already know I have high blood pressure. Or maybe it was the hot chick touching me. I don't know for sure. ;) However, I was more than a little surprised to learn that the device also managed to find fault with my liver, kidneys and blood cells.

I present to you, my blood test results:

This is the results from the health check at the PRUhealth event:

It's remarkably similar, which should probably tell me something. I need to maintain a healthier lifestyle, or at the very least, get insured so the hospital bills won't instantly Chapter 11 me the moment I get admitted (which is a matter of when rather than if). The last time I was in ICU, it cost a staggering RM 3,000+ per day. I was in there for a whole WEEK!

I've always had problems getting health insurance since I was still actively using back then and no insurance company wanted to touch me with a 10 foot pole. However, I've been clean for three years after going through drug rehabilitation and PRUhealth will be one package I'll be seriously looking into.

Let me tell you the best part about this plan. Say you're not as...er, unhealthy as me, and you don't possess a lot of the vices (smoking, drinking) that I do. PRUhealth offers a revolutionary system that I've never heard of before- NO CLAIMS BONUS.

Basically, if you don't claim anything (if you don't fall sick or get into shenanigans which require hospitalization) PRUhealth pays you back up to a maximum of RM 500 annually. You can even withdraw the bonus if you want to. It's the only health insurance that offers something as ground-breaking as this - a plan that rewards you for being healthy!

Thus, if you're not living life to the max (and destroying your body in the process) like I am, you'll be well pleased to know that you'll be rewarded for it. I on the other hand, find solace in the fact that I won't be penalized for it either. It's a win-win situation!

More about PRUhealth next week!

Speaking of winning, I still think I should have snagged the Unhealthiest Blogger Award...I'm a bit miffed that I didn't. How liddat? My street (blog?) cred gone dy. :p

HOW COME THINGS NOWADAYS SO EXPENSIVE ONE?

It is housecleaning day and I went to stock up on a couple of essential supplies - mop, broom, bucket, the works. I didn't exactly check the price for all the items so when I went to the cash register the amount shocked and awed me. I inventoried the items and found the offending article - this RM 22.90 bucket.

WHAT KIND OF BUCKET COSTS RM 22.90?

On a side note, I saw the same bucket being sold for a mere RM 4.90 at a nearby convenience store. Hmph!

You think you've got skillz?

Those of us stuck in the rat race in the corporate world often forget what it's like to do what you want, when you want, and express yourself publicly. We're constantly too concerned about what others think of us and restrain ourselves, thinking its "right" and "mature" to do so. Nay, I say. Nay!

Everyone should let loose once in a while - sing like no one is listening, write like no one is reading, and dance like no one is watching!

Street dancing is a relatively new phenomenon over here but it seems to have taken off with a vengeance. I was surprised to see people busting a move at the local town square in Sibu. I love how they bring their own portable music players or blast beats from their car audio system. It embodies the very essence of freedom of expression.

The F&N Freestylz "Show Ur Moves" competition is heading towards an explosive finale this Sunday. You probably missed the preliminaries but you can still go and check out the teams who managed to rise above the others and come up on top! 10 teams are heading into the finals at the Curve - Elecoldxhot, Wakaka Crew, N Crew, Project Elementz, Fresh Beat Rockers, Twister Randoms, Move, Enemy Style, Feasible Crew and Borneo Crew.

The judging will be done by (L-R) Boojae (Malaysian artiste and b-boy), Fiona Jane Gomez (Talent Hub Principal) and Danny One (local artiste). The winner of the finals will not only get the honor of being crowned the best b-boys in Malaysia, but they'll be flown to Korea to meet and train with Asia's #1 b-boys, Gamblerz Crew!

Go and gawk at the teams - there are female street dancers too, so whether you're a guy or a girl, there will not be a shortage of eye candy. ;)

I was planning to go to Penang this weekend to attend a wedding but since I can't due to work commitments, I'll be there armed with my digicam! The F&N Freestylz 2009 final is going down at e@Curve on Sunday, August 16, 6 pm!

Get reacquainted with your youth or just catch the best moves this side of town!

Open Sesame mouth!

Disclaimer: The Xanax and Rivotril depicted in the photos above are not mine. It is in fact, very empty collectibles. Please do not zoom in or squint in any way to verify the veracity of my claims since you'll most likely find that it is not in fact empty. In any case, I have prescriptions for both from a doctor in KL.

The return of the prodigal son! I flew back to Sibu after nearly a year of being in KL for one sole reason - to attend the wedding of a good friend and ex-classmate I've known since high school. Diana is currently living in Australia and came back for the home leg of her wedding reception.

I know her sisters Daphne and Doreen too - we're all from the same high school. I haven't seen them for ages and it was fun sitting on the same table together - kinda like old times back in 2005. Diana is the last of the sisters to get married. I'm her age and most of my friends are already hitched. Jesus, either I'm late or they're early. Hmm...

Back to the wedding, let me produce a montage of images to best represent the night:

Congratulations to Diana and Keith!

Hmm...does this mean I have to call you Mrs. Towsey now? ;)

I went out drinking with Jan, Sam and Shawn on Saturday night after dinner at Bubba Gump. During the course of the night, I consumed enough ethanol to kill a small horse but somehow managed to maintain my sobriety.

It was a night of Bloody Mary's, absinthe, frozen martinis, shooters, Flaming Lamborghinis and various other cocktails and at the end of the session (and after racking up a staggering RM 566.96 bill); Jan got rather inebriated and fell down while puking on my shoes.

The problem is she fell flat on her face into the tarmac outside Telawi Street Bistro.

I tried to grab her, but missed and scraped my hand instead. Thus, I bundled her into my car sans seatbelt on the front seat while I drove back.

Thank God, Allah, Buddha, Confucius, Gaia, Sol Invictus et al that I didn't run into any road blocks that night.

I cannot imagine talking my way out of a failed breathalyzer test with a passed out girl in my car. I think it would be a catastrophe of epic proportions if I were stopped by the police. Since I didn't get apprehended, the damage level has been downgraded to merely tragic. ;)

There has been a deluge of spoofs on the highly viral and successful Heineken Walk-In-Fridge commercial. One of the funnier ones I've seen is the Walking Fridge spoof and all the parody videos share two things in common...Heineken and The Scream (TM).

No, not the painting by Edvard Munch.

It's the outrageous expression of joy red blooded males manifest by ecstatic screaming. I can't remember how many spoofs I've seen, but if I had RM 1 for every time I've seen a parody of the video, I'll probably be a Datuk by now. Datuk Evil. ;)

I decided to make my very own spoof video, and enlisted the help of the Kamen over lunch at Chili's one fine Saturday afternoon at MidValley. The script was scribbled on a piece of paper (kindly furnished by the waitress) and we discussed it over drinks (the final scene is actually in Chili's - a test run of sorts).

I tucked the script (the technical term for this is "piece of paper with my scribbles") into my front pocket for safekeeping and we proceeded to purchase several bottles of Heineken before getting my car. Thus armed, we drove outside MidValley coz I wanted the mall as the backdrop - Dr, I mean Datuk Evil's lair of operations, where nefarious activities and ridiculously low demands of ransom in lieu of totally annihilation are conducted.

I parked in front of The Gardens, hoping that we'll have time to film the entire take without mall security shooing us away. I didn't have a nifty red button to open up a trapdoor to send unwelcome mall cops into the fiery depths of my basement so it's a good thing that we wrapped everything up with no unwanted attention. ;)

Except for this dude who was washing the windows of The Garden's office block...he actually offered to let me go up on his contraption for filming and I would have agreed if not for this:

I was parked in front of a no parking sign and would have to beat a hasty retreat if asked.

It was really fun, Kamen came dressed to the nines coz she just came from a law debate so I cast her as a combination of Number 2 and Frau Farbissina. We actually took turns filming each other, passing the digicam back and forth for each scene and I must say that the end result turned out surprisingly well.

Check it out for yourself:

Heineken: RM 7:49 x 4
Bottle opener: RM 10.40
Saving the planet: PRICELESS

Heineken - SERVING SAVING THE PLANET

It's surprising how good ideas come in little scraps of paper. :)

The first time I've been exposed to local music was through the song Isabella by Search. It was quite popular during my time (was in primary school then) and it was the first Malay song I listened to and could sing snippets of. The chorus at least...

I don't play the guitar and I've gotten most of the lyrics but I shall attempt to recreate the song here anyway:

Okay, perhaps I shouldn't quit my day job.

Nevertheless, local music has grown by leaps and bounds since then. I've started listening to local bands like OAG and more recently Zee Avi.

I grabbed a guitar from the office and just like buttered bread always lands on the buttered side, my Senior Manager (of all people) walked down, heard the pandemonium that was me trying to hit a High C and failing terribly, and glared at me.

Just look at how paranoid I was in the video!  True, you don't get any prizes for voting for your favorite bands, but hey, the world would be a much better place if everyone tones down the WIIFM (What's In It For Me) mentality.  

Just surf over to Channel X MTV World Stage and vote for your favorite indie bands by downloading their Call Me Tones. The top 3 indie bands with the highest download will get a chance to perform at the MTV World Stage Pre-Show at 4.30pm, 15 August at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach. The voting ends 14 August so get cracking!

Just follow these simple steps to download the Call Me Tones:
1. Type CMT<space><Song Code>
2. Send to 22990

And to subscribe to Call Me Tones:
1. Type ON CMT
2. Send to 22990

Give them a chance to perform at the MTV World Stage. The All-American Rejects, Hoobastank, Boys Like Girls, Pixie Lott, Raygun, Estranged and Kasabian will all be there!

Don't tell me that indie rock is dead...

Support your local indie bands!

I guess a lot of people would consider it a less-than-masculine trait to express feelings of affection towards someone as "uncool" as a parent. I don't really care though - my dad is my greatest inspiration in life. He embodies agape - unconditional love. He lives his life with very solid moral principles.

My dad came from an underprivileged family. He didn't have much to work with but managed to put himself through university by working hard for two years. He believed in education - so much so that he was the first Chinese to graduate with honors in Chemistry from UM (University Malaya - it was quite prestigious back in the days).

He got job offers from Shell as soon as he graduated, but he turned down the high paycheck coz he wanted to make a difference. He wanted to educate. He enrolled in a teaching college and worked his way up, rank and file, to become a principal of the biggest high school in Sibu.

I remember travelling with him when I was a kid. He made it a point to save up for at least one annual family vacation on his meager teacher's salary. He believed in sacrifice - I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for him to put two (2) of his kids through university. He just wanted the best for me and my sister.

I was shipped off to Christchurch, New Zealand when I was 15, together with my sister (she's 2 years older - I only have one sibling) for high school and despite that disastrous incident, he still held on to one thing...he had faith in me and believes that I am a good person and would make the right choices in life.

Let me elaborate...I fell in with a gang in NZ and had to beat a hasty retreat after an unfortunate incident where one person was seriously injured during a home invasion. It wasn't a robbery, it was a gang related attack which I was privy to (and participated in). Unfortunately, I didn't know that the goal was to actually attempt to take the life of the other party.

To cut a long story short, the person whom we attacked nearly died and we got a text message the next day from the leader to lay low. Several of us decided to fly back home. I was one of the lucky ones...we made it out. The rest were arrested and sentenced from 2-20 years in jail for assault.

My dad knew I was in some kind of trouble since I didn't want to go back to NZ so he arranged a path for me to go to Australia instead. He never pushed me for details; he never pried into my private life. He knew I a drug user and despite that, loved me the best that he can.

There is one incident that stands out in my mind. I was just a teenager and on IRC (remember that?) and since he's the principal of the biggest school in Sibu, some dudes started thrash talking about him.

I got sooooo pissed off that I grabbed a parang from the back of my house and drove straight out with a challenge for that gang to meet me at Pedada. My dad actually woke up and he wondered what I was doing. I told him I was out to meet some friends. This was at 2 am mind, so I don't think he believed me...but I went alone, with my edged weapon, ready to take on any amount of people who defiled his name.

They never showed up. >.<

I also remember the time when I attempted to kill myself, and the psychiatrist subdued me with an unknown substance (it's not a benzodiazepine - I'm seriously super tolerant so it's gotta be something else, something much stronger) so much that I fell asleep on the wheel chair from ICU to SGH (where they intended to bring me to the famous psychiatrist hospital dubbed 7th Mile by Kuching people).

You know, I was so groggy that I couldn't answer their questions and slept the entire night.

When I woke up at 7 am on suicide watch, my dad and my mom waltzed into the hospital ICU with a look of concern on their faces. I felt sad, nay, devastated at the grief I had caused them. My dad didn't say anything, he didn't judge, he didn't lecture.

He just pulled me into a bear hug and said:

I'm glad you're alive. I don't know what I would have done without you.

Yes, he is balding. Yes, he lacks height. However, he is MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER and I would give my life for him.

He'll do the same for me, without even a nanosecond to think.

...and that's why I'm nominating him instead of someone I barely know.

Do you know someone who stands up to challenges in life against all odds? Nominate the unsung heroes at Honda - Our Challenging Spirit.

I have preached again and again about the importance of having a digicam with you at all times. Unfortunately, I am not exactly known for practicing what I preach, often with disastrous results. A friend of mine called me out for dinner but he was struck down by a bout of food poisoning so it was just Jojo, Stephanie and me.

I didn't know which Jojo it was until I arrived and nearly drove the 23 km back to grab my dSLR. It was Jojo Struys and Stephanie Chai! Alas, armed with only my crappy cell phone camera, I couldn't really take good photos but Jojo was kind enough to use her Blackberry to take photos and email it to me.

This is why you should lug your dSLR everywhere you go. You just never know who you're going to meet.

Thanks for buying me dinner Jojo! :)

Kampua mee is to Sibu what char kueh tiaw is to Penang. There are a lot of good kampua places here but the best is arguably the one beside the fire station, dubbed Ang Kao kampua (Monkey kampua) after the owner's nickname. I believe most of the locals here know about the income tax fiasco and the buzz that the owner drives two luxury cars, one of them a Mercedes, despite being a "humble kampua stall owner".

Word on the street is, one day some people from the IRB came in and sat there posing as customers, with an increment clicker to count how many plates of kampua they serve on an average day, tallied against their reported income. The discrepancy was so colossal, no amount of hyperbole can sufficiently describe it, and thus the owner was slapped with a huge fine.

I am not sure about the veracity of the story, but if it's true, this has made the proprietors understandably wary about people with monitoring devices in general. I was asked if I was a reporter when I waltzed in and started taking photos of the place, and although they are friendly people, I had the distinct impression that they would not take it very well if I had stated that I represent the IRB. Heh!

However, the kampua is the best in town. This is the classic version of kampua mee - the flavor comes primarily from pork lard and shallots. It's served with finely diced spring onions and char siew.

Monkey Kampua also serves a mean dish of pork liver soup. It's mixed with pork balls in this photo but kampua is versatile in the sense that you can order it with pien nuk (pork dumplings), in soup (ching tang mien) and with pork liver (tu kang in the local dialect).

I like mine with soy sauce and chilli sauce. The accepted vernacular for this is kampua puak lak puak tau yu and should be preferably vocalized with an appropriate Foochow accent.

My only beef with this place is that they don't serve beer. ;)

I flew back to Sibu on Saturday and was surprised to see the sheer amount of people donning masks at the airport. I presume this is to avoid getting infected with H1N1 but I find the lack of basic knowledge about the efficacy of face masks appalling.

You can't prevent someone from passing H1N1 to you by wearing these. They are perfectly healthy people, mind. It's more about not transmitting it to others by containing particles when you sneeze or cough.

Either way, it's the wrong kind of mask. This kind won't make an iota of difference.

Greetings from Sibu! I was nearly late for my flight yesterday for the very obvious reason detailed in the photo below, which I'm sure requires no further explanation.

On another note, my relationship status has changed from Single to It's Complicated (TM). ;)

Okay la, In a Relationship with Jan.