April 2003 Archives

The original photo has been resized and compressed so any resulting artifacts are my fault.

The cast has been inked by Daniel [geocities.com]! I say he did a wonderful job, very nice indeed. I can't draw at all, and I was impressed that it only took him 2 hours to sketch this out. You probably need to read the post [sixthseal.com] to know what this is about. This is Daniel's first draft, so comment if you want him to make changes for the second draft. It's a great first draft though, I like how the characters came out. Eh, I look too feminine in this sketch, gotta submit a change request to the artist. Haha! Here's a photo [sixthseal.com] for the second draft. :) This was taken about two weeks ago, the pair of jeans that I was talking about isn't very visible, but the shirt would be good and it's nearly a full body length shot. Thanks buddy!

I just got my dexamphetamine (dextroamphetamine sulfate) refill yesterday. I was actually late for the script...the last time I went was 28th of March. I get 100 x 5 mg dexamphetamine tablets for my "narcolepsy" every 25 days. ;) My unfortunate condition (sorry about the jokes, I can't help myself. hehe!) requires me to take two tablets twice a day, so that's 20 mg per day. 500 mg / 20 mg = 25. Thus, each bottle/script/refill (used interchangeably) is supposed to last me 25 days. I was late this time though, it's been 33 days since my last visit, so I'm 8 days late. Isn't it wonderful how my normally dismal arithmetic skills rally up and perform when it comes to substances? =D

29th of April - dexamphetamine refill. I had just done a single pass at first and was startled to see that my name was visible (although fuzzy) when the photo was resized. I had to heavily mosaic it again to obscure my real name and the doctor's name to protect our privacy.

Anyway, I was actually worried that I've been too late for my script and it's going to raise suspicions...like I don't need it for my "narcolepsy" anymore. I've always been worried about being asked to do a urine drug test too, I hear most people have to go through that before being prescribed dexamphetamine, but luckily I wasn't one of them. :) Everything went well yet again! It was quick, in and out, just for the script. The doctor recognized me so it was scribble scribble and I'm out. He said that he feels bad because I have to pay A$35 for consultation each time I refill my script. Hah! I was thinking that this is a great bargain - 500 mg, that's ½ gram of pure dextroamphetamine (as opposed to racemic stuff you get from the streets, the dextro isomer is the one that's recreational) for just A$35 consultation (refundable so it's not included as 'cost' - this is the only thing I put on my medical insurance) and A$30.35 for the dexamphetamine tablets.

Gobble gobble!

Well, I was about to suggest that he can write dated scripts, ie "100 x 5 mg dexamphetamine tablets - 24th May 2003" so I can only cash it on that date or later, but I didn't know if they're actually allowed to do that in Australia. I don't mind visiting the good doctor anyway. :) Anyway, I picked up the lovely little pills at the pharmacy nearby and got some Ural as well. Ural is marketed for Urinary Tract Infections (UTI), but it's also a urinary alkalinizer. ;) It's cheap and it's better than drinking sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) mixed into water.

Ural - It's not just for UTI's.

Ural also has sodium bicarbonate as the main component, plus some other stuff as well. I always take two, just tear them up and empty them into my mouth. Mmm...fizzy! It makes you gag if you don't chase it down with water though. Heh. Oh, and I'm not recommending the use of [rxlist.com] because that makes it more neurotoxic as well. I always do it though, because I've grown to love the constant body and head buzz, especially when taking a piss. :)

Anyway, taking too much alkaline stuff is bad as well...makes you feel nauseous. Ural and other alkalinizers doesn't last very long, so I take it constantly. I find that two packs 15 minutes before dumping, two packs straight after dosing and every half hour after is good for me. It does noticeably potentiate the dexamphetamine. That might not be good for you though, I'm just sharing my experience. I don't know what excessive consumption of GI alkalinizers would do to people with an existing condition like a stomach ulcer.

Box of Ural - 28 x 4g sachets @ A$6.75

Well, I'm going through the script faster than I thought. I've already taken 84 tablets (420 mg of dexamphetamine) over the night and I'm sad that I've gobbled most of the script in less than a day! I suspect that my five day methamphetamine run er...just two days back, contributed to my tolerance. I did get wonderfully stimulated during the initial 90 mg dose (oral - I'll like to see you snort that many dexamphetamine tablets! =D) early last night, but re-dosing is just keeping me awake without much euphoria to speak of.

Anyway, I'm not dependant on (meth)amphetamines, I'm just trying to finish up my assignments. Everyone is having assignments due this week. :( Well, I don't have to justify my use, but I just want to make it clear that no dependency issues are forming here. I wouldn't take 420 mg in a night if I had the choice! That kind of consumption is wastefully excessive even in my eyes. The later doses were just 'maintenance' ones to stay awake coz I had to finish my stuff. Re-dosing doesn't do much at all, nothing beats the first dose, I'll much rather keep the rest until next week if I had the choice.

There's something funny about gobbling a fistful of tiny white pills but given the choice, I'll rather have a superb high next weekend (after my tolerance goes down) than eat more now and not get tweaked much at all. :) What a waste...still, work needs to be done, and I don't like caffeine as a chemical assistant. It's just too messy and there's not much grey matter turbo charging going on compared to its stronger cousins. The pills are almost gone, and it's just been slightly over 24 hours! Sigh...I've consumed my script in less than a day. Gloomy indeed...irresponsible and wasteful. Oh well, I'm not the only one with assignments, better get back to them. Oh, just one last note...I've always found dexamphetamine nice...the comeup is pleasantly euphoric, happy happy thoughts. It's unlike the comeup from methamphetamine which is more chargy and scattered.

Personally:
Dextroamphetamine = nice body + head buzz, "happier", and good to work with. Nice soft comedowns too.
Methamphetamine = longer lasting, superior mental euphoria, better clarity and it's great to work with too. Unfortunately, I tend to go overboard with it and go for days without sleep and food and there's no comedown to speak of...only a horrible crash. ;)

I love you both! :)

but neither of you are any good for me...

+

=

I spilt Diet Coke TWICE on my Logitech Cordless Freedom Optical keyboard yesterday. I forgot all about it and went to sleep. Upon waking up, I started typing and wondered why some keys were going crazy. Typing s brought up Outlook Express, Ctrl puts it into Sleep mode and stuff like that. I was wondering why, I couldn't even remember the spillage incident yesterday...until I saw some liquid coming out from the seams on the side. I overturned it, and a significant amount of Diet Coke steeped in gunk dripped out. Fuck. I'm letting it dry and see if it works, if not I'll flood it with water (coz it's sticky), dry it and try again. That sucks because I have an assignment due on Wednesday, while all the time I was thinking it's due on Thursday. This A$5 backup keyboard has a Sleep button where my Outlook Express mapping was (grr...), I keep reaching for a non-existent volume control and the keys feel too hard. I have to apply considerable force to make each key press register and since I'm used to the softer Logitech, I keep making typing mistakes coz the key strokes are not being registered. Typing with such force is tiring too. I also managed to spill chicken topping sauce on my pants during dinner.

Oh well, back to work. I'm about to nod off, I need an infusion of something. Too bad I don't have anything.

Mushroom #18
Mushrooms, mushrooms everywhere, but not a single one to eat (with confidence). A patch of mushrooms with different species.

Yesterday was a great day for mushrooms in Melbourne. Cold temperatures and it rained most of the day. I saw HEAPS of mushrooms EVERYWERE. Mushrooms galore. It's raining mushrooms! Popping up on roadsides, fields, even CONCRETE! Okay, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea. I saw several at the hospital but didn't pick anyway. Too tired and run-down. I saw heaps at the place I live too, even right outside my door! Mushrooms, mushrooms everywhere, as far as the eyes can see!

Mushroom #19
Promising looking mushroom growing on enriched soil. It stains blue, but the cap looks strange.

Well, I was too tired to go for a long hunting expedition but I took a very short stroll and photographed a few. Damn, I missed a good chance. If I had gone the route MH and I went in the last couple of days, I would have found plenty of magic ones I reckon. Anyway, I don't know if the ones that I photographed yesterday are psychoactive, there's just too many species of fungi and wild magic mushrooms are so hard to identify for a beginner like me. Anyway, enjoy the photos! :)

Mushroom #20
Interesting looking mushrooms on enriched soil.

Mushroom #21
Early stages of a mushroom's growth cycle...still shaped like a ball on a stem.

Mushroom #21
The same mushroom (visually similar, on a same patch) in a later growth stage...looks like a mushroom now.

Mushroom #21
The same mushroom with the gills showing. The A$2 coin is for size comparison.

Mushroom #22
This one was tricky. It was growing at a high human traffic area under a small brush and I had to climb into there in daylight and photograph them in full view of anyone who happens to look by. Looks dark coz I used flash.

Mushroom #22
The same mushroom with the gills showing.

Mushroom #22
The same mushroom picture beside A$2 coin. It's quite large, size of my extended palm.

Mushroom Hunting I is here [sixthseal.com].

The best delivery system I've seen to date!

I have too many things to do so I'm going to keep this short. I had a Class A meth induced freak out yesterday. It was my 5th day without sleep and food (but plenty of meth and dexamphetamine), and I had forced myself to half a pack of Tim Tams (chocolate biscuit, very sugary sweet). I was browsing around when I felt my hands go completely white like there wasn't any blood. I was feeling very confused, sweating, hand tremors, extreme dizziness and my vision was fucked.

I felt my blood pounding in my head, had sore muscles, my face was crawling and my hands had parts that looked black too, which freaked me out. I've heard something about hypoglycemia before and I searched for it. I read some medical sites about starvation induced hypoglycemia, reactive hypoglycemia after a high sugar meal stuff like that. I was in a bad state of mind, and reading those made me worse coz I had those symptoms. I spent 6 hours reading and debating whether or not to go to a hospital.

Hmm...nah, I concluded, it's just a meth freak out, not that hypothingamajic. Sleep deprivation, overt CNS stimulation for prolonged periods of time, you're stressing that grey matter, not getting starvation/reactive hypoglycemia. The symptoms came and went and I thought okay, I'll just eat something that's not simple sugars to re-stabilize...forced two small pieces of chicken about the size of a thumbnail down and well, basically got worse.

The symptoms came again, even worse this time and I was really freaking out. Why?

The risk of permanent neurologic deficits increases with prolonged hypoglycemia; such deficits can include hemiparesis, memory impairment, diminished language skills, decreased abstract thinking capabilities, and ataxia.

Basically, they advice quick medical attention because you'll damage your brain the longer you wait. There was one site that said go, because the risk of not going is permanent brain damage. Fuck, I thought. I still didn't want to go, but I was scared coz I had these effects towards the end during the last long meth run (6 days) too. Ketoacidosis, hemiparesis (I don't even know what this is!!), neurological damage. Medical terms swirling in my head...

I decided that it was just methamphetamine induced paranoia and sleep deprivation induced erratic thought patterns. Nothing to worry about, I'll just pop a couple (maybe more than a couple, har har) benzos, down some beer, smoke some weed, get some food in me and sleep. Except, it got worse, and got me seriously worried about my mental health. Brain damage!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've always held my superior intellect (in my opinion :p) in high regard and I don't want to fuck that up.

I guess the last straw was when I couldn't think or speak normally. I was having trouble getting what I thought into words and my speech was abnormally...well, abnormal. My precious brain is getting fried, I thought. What if it's really hypoglycemia and not meth paranoia? It'll be STUPID to not go for a checkup, when neurons are at stake. I flushed all my drugs down the toilet and my friend (can't name him coz that'll give away my identity) took me too the hospital. Thanks buddy, I owe you one! ;)

Well, at the hospital, I had to wait for ages while the triage nurse (the person that evaluates all incoming patients) fucked around. Most triage nurses are bitches (and that's a fact) but you can't blame them too coz it's their job to sort out the emergencies and non-emergencies for better efficiency. I've had experience with them before, I had to wait for ages before I finally got approved after throwing up blood. That time, I saw a guy with a broken arm cursing coz he had to wait ages too.

I think you have to be 5 minutes away from death to get instant approval from triage nurses. They have the "police syndrome" aka the "I feel like God, I have so much authority bow before me lesser beings" disorder. Anyway, I finally got a little bit of mini-God's time and she took my blood sugar with a tiny device that pricks the finger, all the while telling me off. I have to say that not all triage nurses are like this though, the previous one I saw was much nicer.

Well, she told me I had a blood sugar level of 6.7 which is normal "and probably even better than mine" (her own words) and asked me whether I wanted to see a doctor. I said no, because if it wasn't hypoglycemia, I don't have to worry about brain damage. She berated me for not eating (I didn't tell her about my methamphetamine use - my policy is disclosure on a "need to know" basis) and was a general asshole about it. Regardless, I thanked her and stood up and she impatiently asked whether I wanted to see a doctor again and I said no (again). Major fucking bitch with a capital B.

Well, anyway, all is good except that I flushed good drugs down the toilet for no reason. I know from experience that hospitals won't notify police or anything but try telling that to a paranoid delusional after a meth binge. Anyway, I still have the symptoms but my conclusion is that it's just extremely high blood pressure from frequent meth re-dosing. It went away after stopping and sleep. Did I really go on a break? I've been using it too much, I don't want to go into specifics, but it's too much.

Enough about that, yesterday was a great day for mushrooms but I think that's gonna be in a different post coz it's completely unrelated. Anyway, I didn't think I did any serious harm, but my intellectual abilities sure went down several notches today. It's quite noticeable and I'm still waiting for the verdict - benzo related (temporary) or overheating + high blood pressure (permanent). Hope that it's the former, wish me luck people. =D Well, fuck this wasn't short after all. Ah...methamphetamine, you're such a contradiction - my best friend and my worst enemy.

Zzz...I'm so terribly sleepy now.

MIA coz assignments. It's Saturday! Time fastfowarding, I can't keep up! No, stop!!!

Quick one, took this photo just now. Around 6 AM. Hmm...I thought 6 AM was just an hour ago. But the clock says I'm wrong. Where did the time go? Jumped to 3:37 PM? PM??? Wtf? Noooo...go slower k. About the pic, I've been meaning to photograph that since it was implemented a couple of days ago, but didn't get around to it till now. There's a new policy at our halls, the main stairway door is to be locked 24/7. The picture up there is the latch that is used to keep the door open, it's been taped over to avoid people from using it to prop open the door. Now I gotta remember to bring my keys every time I go out...wait, can't continue like this...MUST WRITE IN FRAGMENTS. Quicker. No time. Assignments. Here's another pic to show perspective:

Something else. All hail Win XP System Restore. Got a corrupted profile this morning. My personal profile won't load. XP loaded default and I was shocked to find all my assignment files missing (all saved in My Documents) and all my photos (stupid Nikon Browser...default to My Pictures in My Docu). They just weren't there, browsing to Docs + Settings -> My Name -> Desktop
Nothing!
<-
-> My Docu
Nope!
-> My Pics
All empty!
Horrified! Restarted but same thing happened, after shock passed (partly due to remaining disk space still the same and worse come to worse, go for disk info retrieval tools - digressing, not good, anyway), went for sys restore hoping I didn't turn that off. Always used to turn it off coz didn't want the extra load.

Thank God I didn't turn it off this time. Restored to previous day and right as rain. Worked on ass and STILL didn't back things up. I never learn. Mouse froze just now, "fuck!" I thought. Mouse error is common error, bios disables USB support and have to restart and set things rite - only happens occasionally, so didn't bother to isolate cause, but prob coz of the wireless mouse +kb driver).
Anyway, uh oh, this is bad I though. Had to reboot...prayed won't see the corrupted profile. In vain. Yep, got the same corrupted profile.
Please sys restore, do your magic. Whee. Restored okay, BUT....
Nothing in all my docs
My ass was in there...12 hours of work...gone?
Made offerings. Prayed. Restored to earlier date, didn't dare to look, went to toilet.
Came back and phew, everything fine again.
Except a couple of database files were missing

Luckily they were on the Unix server I work on. PuTTY r0x. Doing the backbone for my ass. Using SQL Plus command line via SSH to Unix. Don't want to bother with downloading Oracle for GUI SQL Plus. Command line = faster for me. If you're working on something like this too, and didn't already know, easy way: Type SQL tables in notepad. Save as "database_create.sql". FTP upload. Go SQL Plus Prompt. Type "start database_create.sql". If you're like me and makes a lot of mistakes you'll also have created "clean.sql". Just a fast way to drop all tables. Copy table names from db create. Also, save typing, script "see.sql" with "select table_name from user_tables;". Just in case clean.sql ordering wrong, FK dependent tables not deleted first. Reorder again. Populate db separately "populate.sql". SQL not fun. Doing the Java and PHP front end now. Still have CSS and HTML to go. Bye sleep. BTW, me != retard. Just in a rush. Gotta go, time moving at the speed of lite. Keeping up, hard. Trying. Wish me luck. Thanks!

Location: South-Eastern Suburbs, Melbourne, Victoria (Australia)
Date: 24th April 2003
Time: Afternoon (1:00 PM onwards)
Weather: Relatively warm (19 degrees Celsius) and dry

It's mushroom season! :) Autumn is here! This afternoon was a warm 19 degrees and there was rain a couple of days ago. Rain followed by warm weather is reported to provide the best growing conditions for mushrooms. I went mushroom hunting this afternoon with Mushroom Hunter (not his real name) during a break from our assignments. Mushroom Hunter (MH) has past experience with identifying some magic mushrooms and knows the hotspots around our area. I brought my digicam and backpack along, met up with MH and off we went.

Mushroom #1
Habitat: Wood chips with dry leaves and a plant
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Toadstool

We walked a long circuitous route around our area to check out every magic mushroom hotspot that MH has harvested from in the previous year. I took photos of every species we came across. There were several promising ones which could be psychoactive, but none which could be positively identified with 100% certainty, so I'm going to post the photos later at The Shroomery [shroomery.org] for help. I can't give more information about the location except that it's somewhere in the South East suburbs of Melbourne, Australia.

Mushroom #2
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Panaeolus subbalteatus - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org].

Well, most of the previous year's hotspots that we went to were either filled with possibly poisonous mushrooms or non-magical mushrooms. There were some spots which had dried out as well, but it was a great learning experience. I discovered that mushrooms can grow in the strangest places and with MH's help I learned how to spot for mushrooms. It became easy after a while and I was surprised at the amount of wild mushrooms growing around our area. I had never noticed them before!

Mushroom #3
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Clumps
My guess: Toadstool

I harvested three different species, which have since been disposed. I had neglected to bring plastic bags, so I could only take samples of three specimens to avoid cross-contamination. One of them somehow disintegrated during the journey (Mushroom #7) and I was left with two - one which is probably not magical and one which has a higher chance of being magical. The purpose of taking samples is solely for photography in a controlled environment. The specimens have all been disposed of after the photography session. I do not have mushrooms in my possession!

Mushroom #4
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Smattering
My guess: Gymnopilus purpuratus - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org].

Anyway, even though we did not find mushrooms that could be identified with absolute certainty as magic mushrooms, there were several hotspots which MH foresees would spring forth groups of potentially psychoactive fungi to be collected from future mushroom hunting trips. I saw a place where there were heaps of what I think is psilocybe cubensis. This would warrant a return visit if it's positively identified as such.

Mushroom #5
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Unknown

I do not have experience with mushroom identification, so I wouldn't want to risk death by misidentifying a potentially poisonous mushroom. We did not find the species that MH knows is safe from previous experience. However, we came across several species which appeared to be psychoactive to my untrained eye. I've taken photos of all the mushrooms we encountered and compared them to known psychoactive fungi pictures on the net and some bear a remarkable resemblance.

Mushroom #6
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Looks promising - magic mushroom?

The possibility of encountering poisonous look-alikes is high, so I'll like to be absolutely certain that they are hallucinogenic. I'll post every picture up, and if anyone can help in identifying the ones containing psilocybin and psilocin (magic mushrooms) I'll be very appreciative. Mycologists and seasoned mushroom pickers in Victoria, I need your help and experience. I can post larger and higher resolution pictures if extra detail is needed for identification purposes. Thanks!

Mushroom #7
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Panaeolina foenisecii - not psychoactive based on this picture [erowid.org].

Mushroom #7
This is another view of Mushroom #7. It has black/brown gills but it's not very visible in the picture.

Mushroom #8
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Clumps
My guess: Gymnopilus purpuratus - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org].

Mushroom #8
This is another photo of Mushroom #8 at a different spot. Can anyone confirm this as Gymnopilus purpuratus? This looks promising and there's a lot of them.

Mushroom #9
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Psilocybe cubensis - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org].

Mushroom #9
This is another view of Mushroom #9. It has brownish white gills.

Mushroom #10
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Psilocybe australiana - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org].

Mushroom #10
This is another view of Mushroom #10. This shows the gills.

Mushroom #11
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Unknown

Mushroom #11
This is another picture of Mushroom #11 at a different place. I'm not sure if they're similar, it looks similar to me.

Mushroom #11
This is another view of Mushroom #11 (second one). This shows the gills.

Mushroom #12
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Psilocybe cubensis - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org].

Mushroom #13
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Scattered
My guess: Psilocybe cubensis - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org]. Possible for Psilocybe cubensis stem to be this slim?

Mushroom #14
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Psilocybe aucklandii - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org]. Possible for Auckland, NZ species to be in Victoria, Australia?

Mushroom #14
This is another view of Mushroom #14. It shows the brown gills.

Mushroom #15
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Toadstool - it's a single large (about the size of two golf balls) growth.

Mushroom #16
Habitat: Wood chips
Growth pattern: Clump
My guess: Toadstool

Mushroom #17
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Toadstool? It's very interesting - the size is unusually large and long and it's squishy when pressure is applied. It feels like there's some sort of fluid or air pocket inside.

Mushroom #17
This is another view of Mushroom #17.

Mushroom #10 - Sample Mushroom #1
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Spread out over a small area (picked from a different place but seems similar to Mushroom #10)
My guess: Psilocybe australiana - magic mushroom based on this picture [erowid.org]. These mushrooms did not 'bleed' when the stalk was snapped. The gill is brownish. This sample has since been disposed.

Mushroom #17 - Sample Mushroom #2
Habitat: Grass
Growth pattern: Single
My guess: Toadstool? The outer 'flakes' rubbed off with normal contact friction. This sample has since been disposed.

Added on 25th April 2003 (01:43 AM): Here's the very informative replies from The Shroomery forum members! [shroomery.org].

Good magic mushroom references:
John W. Allen's Magic Mushrooms of Australia & New Zealand [erowid.org].
The Shroomery [shroomery.org].

This is the condom vending machine in the male toilet of the Roberts Hall main building. I thought that the "Sold Out!" sign pasted on it was funny, but then I've been told I'm easily amused. Oh, I took a photo of a really old bus parked at the Monash University car park (the one beside the bus loop) on Monday.

There I was, walking around it and taking photos, amazed to see such an antique in prime condition. I thought it was some kind of display, and I was about to poke my head into the ajar door...until I saw a girl peering quizzically at me from inside. The interior was furnished like a motor home and it even had a small gas tank on the side. "Oh, sorry to intrude, I didn't realize you were in there". "No worries, take as many photos as you want".

I can't believe I forgot all about this, they turned out to be really good pictures. I only remembered when I saw the thumbnails while I was uploading the digicam photos to the hard disk. I haven't done a transfer since last Sunday. The bus is painted green and yellow and white like a tram and there's even a sign saying "FLINDERS ST STN 4" on the top. Very authentic.

Afternote: I'm terribly sorry everyone. This is so juvenile and stupid. This is a serious lack of forethought on my part. I suck so much. I'm a sorry excuse for a human being. Look at me, feeling sorry for myself. "I can't help it, it's the chemical imbalance going on right now in my brain". There I go again, always with the justification. I hate myself. I'm feeling so depressed right now. I took this pill (sold as ketamine) because I felt like some ketamine to end my night. "Better living through chemistry", I tell myself. "Limiting my legal liability, it's been sitting in my drawer for ages", I tell myself. Excuses, excuses. Is this ketamine? Felt like it, but only MDMA (Ecstasy) makes me feel this horrible and depressed. I'm smelling lavender everywhere. Lavender makes me depressed. I still can't think very well, but I'm sorry for posting such a stupid thing. Please don't read it. Feel free to flame me and call me names. I deserve it. I'm useless. I've ruined the image of every responsible and intelligent recreational user. I'm not fishing for your sympathy or pity, don't feel sorry for me, everything I do willingly is my responsibility. I'm so sleepy right now. I'm going to sleep. I want to throw up. Horrible depression, leave me be. Fuck it, everything sounds wrong. Nothing but whine whine whine. I'm sorry for disappointing everyone who reads my posts and I understand if you've lost your respect for me. "It sounded like a good idea at the time". Story of my life. :(

wowo typing that title sure was fun. hehehe.i was writing muy personal trip report when i thought HEY! why not write a rREAL TIME trip report fora change! hehehe
won't that be a hoot!
eh i';m altrady logged in and i didn't know hahaha!

[Edit: I accidentally lost (wrote over) part of the opening paragraph while updating. This real time constant-update-as-things-progress idea isn't so good after all.]

Pill Name: Pink Bird
Color: Pink with white spots
Location: Melbourne
Contents: Sold as a ketamine/speed combo pill - not sure, first time I heard speed/ketamine combo and second time I heard ketamine only. My fault for not clearing things up.

if uou're blind (i won't blame you though :) ) here's the scanned pill front phottoshooped to show the outline of the bird

oh boy the images will be a challenge to do
i'm going to past the trip report i had just now and put it here:
oh this is so NOT FUNNY
hahaha
by the way this is not the trip report dump
talking about how i logged out and lost some stuff
and next thing I DID IT AGAIN and lopst more stuff
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
real time is not so good after all
okay back to this, i was in the middle of the keeping the log when i suddenly thought, why not do a REAL TIME one???? the prevpipus one all are posted after, because of legal issues.

pill front taken with a digicam (macro mode) - pill is thick

ok here it is:
START
thick pill
pink with white spots
solid - hard pressed and hard to crush
no bevel or split
turn down red coz its very pink
and phewwwwwwwweeeeeeee
did it burn
ouch! fuck! fuck! fuck!
i snorted a big line and my eyes watered. should have crushed it finer.
theyshould have made it crumblier
its a k pill for fucks sake...why make it so solid when its meant to be crushed

scanned back of the pill. this is not part of the trip report, i just chucked in in so you won't have to read huge amounts of text without some pics. hahaha! this is the pill's back. wat do you see? nothing? you're right. no detail on the back
and snorted?
ouch! just had another line. wonder if its the granules or additives that made it

burn so bad. my eyes watered! i didn't heve that problem even with my poorly

crushed dexamphetamine tablets.
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
third line
man...sdfsdfdsfdsfsfd
*eyes watering*
fourth line
oh man, i think i'm doing my sinuses some serious damage but i want to get it up

fast, so it's all about fast fast fast snorting, don't think, alternate nostrils,

this is a picture of the crushed pill. photo, not scan. not part of original trip report
and up it goes
oh...i'm feeling ketamine's effects now. whoa. :)
okay gonna clear my nasal passages now
hehehe
eyes watering and i'm still not done with the pill
the watery eyes adds to the trippy k "visuals"
oh its definately the cut
ehehehe
fucking hell i'm on to ya
the makers of the pill put something that they know will burn going up
tats coz tehy want to make your eyes water
its fune to type
i'm crying
hahaha
tears flow flow flow

not part of the original trip report. this is a picture, taken in macro mode to schow you the size of the pill besie an A#2 coin
hmm hmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmm
dum dum dum
em em eme em em
emmm ememmmmm
ticka ticka ticka
eememememememememememememememememememememememememe
tsk tsk tsk
doop doop doop
thats the music i'm listening to now
written in words so you can listen to it too
music doesn;t sound right but typing is fun coz i have to correct the spelling mistakes i maaaaaaaake =D
but itssssssssssssssss whoops didn't mean to do that
END
gonna do pics now
eh now that the ketamine effects have passed this is getting silly. oh well.

photo of the pill back taken with digicam in macro mode

I don't know if there's speed in there, can't really tell, but I feel able to sleep. Now I'm not sure it's ketamine as well coz it made me feel very depressed. :( I've only experienced this horrible depression on MDMA (Ecstasy) before. I'm sobering up and this is stupid. Everything sucks.

I've been down this road
In the end it's all the same
Another day I'm getting older
Another day nothing has changed.
I've been down this road
I'm wrong when I know I'm right
Hard pressed to make it better and I've got no will to fight.
Think out loud things I want to change,
but I know I never will I'm gonna stay this way
Is this my great reward, servitude and solitude,
a lifetime of chances I have blown?
I woulda coulda shoulda been so much more than I really am,
and it's nobody else's fault but my own.
Zero Down - Down This Road

[Final update (07:15 AM): It was probably ketamine + (possibly) speed after all. Qualitative evaluation of ketamine content in the pill suggests that it is low compared to the white ? pills [sixthseal.com]. The presence of (meth)amphetamines cannot be confirmed due to reasons I choose not to state (but you can probably figure out). Depression is not so bad now, inconsistant with MDMA type depression. Sleep is possible but unfeasible (poor quality) without benzos. This may be due to other factors. Booya would be unimpressed by my reversion to 'clinical' assessment. ;) If you're wondering, no, I don't take substances every day. I would be appalled myself if that were true. :) The LSD consumption was recent but it wasn't yesterday. I usually post reports after the substance has been consumed for legal and literature (writing and photo compiling takes time) reasons. Unless, I specifically use chronological words like "yesterday", "last night", "just now" etc in the post, the average lag between comsumption and posting is 2-3 days. It's usually 1 day (the day after) but it can be much longer than that. I do have "report banks" as in I've half-written but not posted some reports. This is either due to wanting more experience (eg a fourth experience in the case of a unposted DXM compilation), a lack of significance (eg the "I swear my Xanax pills have legs and a mind of its own" post about disappearing pills) or plain laziness (eg incomplete "Cooking with Cannabis" post). Just FYI. :) Should my reports be dated (ie consumption date)? What do you think?]

3 LSD blotters in foil - the blotter art is a Buddha figure.

Lyserg-Saeure-Diaethylamid (Lysergic acid diethylamide-25) - the brainchild of Dr. Albert Hoffman. This was the first drug I've ever taken and I've had about 35 trips of acid since then. Unfortunately, this substance seems to be rarer these days and I haven't seen it around for years! LSD is not available in Malaysia (at least I've never come across it) and even in Melbourne, there's only rumors that acid is around but no one seems to be able to get hold of any.

I recently managed to get in touch with someone who can actually deliver this rare (or so it seems) chemical. The best thing was the price - it's only A$15 for each blotter! It has been 6 years since I've last tripped on acid, and I'm sure glad to see it around, so I bought 3 blotters. The blotter art is a picture of a Buddha with a green face and a blue head piece.

I intended to take a single blotter because it's been a while since I've tripped and these Buddha blotters were said to be strong. I perforated one blotter and put it under my tongue and listened to some psy-trance. My past experiences with LSD were always in raves, but I wanted to take it in a safe environment this time to gauge the strength. It was strong acid alright, and I made the mistake of dropping the other two blotters when I felt the first familiar effects take hold.

I scanned the blotters for a clearer image. This is the front with the blotter art. The size of each blotter is about 1/3 of your smallest fingernail if you have big hands and 1/2 if you have average hands.

I thought I could handle the experience but I haven't taken into account my frame of mind (not so good) at the time. I knew that taking all three blotters was a mistake when things started getting too intense and I had to shut off the music. I've forgotten the utter mind-fuck that LSD produces and I spent the night reading the Psychedelic Crisis FAQ [erowid.org].

I knew deep down that everything was alright and it's just the acid that's fucking with my mind...but if you've taken a high dose of LSD, you know how things can get out of control inside your mind. :) I'll admit it, I was terrified. I know that everything would go back to normal in 10 hours, but everything was so intense, so unstoppable that I had a bad trip. I was utterly blindsided by the strength of these blotters - taking all 3 was a mistake indeed.

I know that I'm not going insane. It's just the acid, it'll all be good in 10 hours, I tell myself. I know it's impossible to overdose on LSD (the LD-50 is very, very high) but I was scared that I'll be insane forever. I actually seriously considered checking myself into a hospital! Imagine that! What ludicrous thoughts I entertain in my mind while under the influence! I know it's just the drugs, and I'm really glad I had enough experience to stop things from getting really out of control.

This is not the real size of the blotters. The scanning process enlarges the image and shows more detail. This is the back - plain and you can see the perforations.

I practically tore apart a blister pack of Xanax (alprazolam) in an effort to calm down. 2.5 mg of Xanax didn't do anything, so I sedated myself with a further 15 mg of Valium (diazepam). I shut down all the lights (to reduce stimulus) and laid in bed with blankets around me, watching the trails as the blankets moved. Closing my eyes produced repetitively green geometric patterns flowing and morphing through my vision and I was getting auditory hallucinations too. I opened my eyes to see a warped room that I could barely recognize, the proportions were wrong and things were too fluid.

Finally, the benzos did their magic but I still couldn't sleep. It was a weird state of feeling like I was floating to sleep, and then the acid kicks in and I jerk awake into an unfamiliar room. I was pretty much sedated by then though, so I got up and managed to resume the trip report I was trying to keep. Hah! :) I don't remember much after that, but I know I went out to get some food and saw someone and had to avoid eye contact while getting food. That's about the only thing I remembered clearly before managing to eat and sleep. Here's the trip report, in all its unedited glory:

things you might want to know: yes, i licked the scanner after. might be nothing, but eh, i've done nastier things ;)
took 1 blotter
t+30 felt the effects
it was so nice to see uncle sid again
very positive and quite strong and i felt such a positive vibe, i took the remaining two
took the two remaining blotters at t+30
t+60
okay, i'm regretting that now. very intense.
okay so regretting it now.

its to intense. like with the codiytion of acid being the way it is most pepl have never had a full hitt and dose . i'm respectign this now. i'ved forgotten ny respect for you uncke side
wow

xanax 2,6mg
reduce stimulous going offline and shutting lights down now

psychedelic crisis faq
fuck it i'm aborting

don't want to be a danger to myuself and others

can't abort even with 2.6 mg xanax
still going strong
i'm aware of everything, just wouldn't want anoe to see me in this sate now
wow i underestimated lsd
don't ever do that, if you are, chances are you're not takking a hard dose or you'll find it hard to conrol even with experience if alone

t + can't think properly
this is reli strong dose to affect this way empahais that if they've never taken experienced such midn budnering wat is true wat is fiction?
repect it i wonder how many ppl can handle this kind of things alone and still have the reality achor to know themselves
quit this self serviding bullshit and get done

managed to get myself soome food in: i think there was something that was said abotut men not khlepong another girl take in her stuff, but sorry thats just coz i was in the middle of a psychedulic crisis and was trying to aboidinb eye contatct!!! sorry i would have helped otherwise but not when i'm fucking tripping ballz on lsd. and i dun even know if you're a fucking polis or somehow related to yes and is gonna tip me in or something

gosh now that i think about it its scaring me. i acted normal

seems that i can't abort it and the xanax is really mking me feel less anxtious and forgot about things too thats the bad part but yeah eveyrthing is fine and dandy

end of story: this has taught me an important lesson. dont think that you know all there is to a drug and can "hadle" it. given me repsect on lsd an whe intense warp in can have on everything, antyhing and evertyhgin
:)
open cevs
you haven't had really good acid unless you're sure you're on it\

think to youself about how we care so much about what others peicee us of
jaw PERMENANTLY CLENCHED

I woke up the next day feeling embarrassed for getting so completely 0wn3d by a substance I thought I was experienced in. I'm utterly humiliated by what I wrote in the trip journal, but I'm going to post it anyway, coz it shows how badly strong psychedelics like LSD can mess with your mind. =D It's disjointed and hard to read, but there you go, everything I wrote posted as is. Buddha taught me how to write the word 'respect' that day. Oh well, no harm no foul, and I'm going to treat acid more carefully now. Sure, it's not dangerous, but it definitely gives you one helluva mind-fuck! :)

P/S - I've finally uploaded my About veritas page. I took the template from Huai Bin's "About me" page and just added my stuff in. :)

This is how my blog looks like in Netscape 4.7. teddybwear [blogspot.com] sent me this screenshot today. It's very bizarre seeing an ICQ message with my nick flashing in a screenshot, I felt like my body was somehow switched or something. =D I know there's something very wrong with the templates but I never got around to fixing it because it works fine in IE 6 and that's what most people are using anyway. :) I'm just lazy. Anyway, I got around to hunting down the problem and found out that I wasn't crossing my t's and dotting my i's. Most pages were missing the closing "html" tag and most "div" tags weren't being closed too. I think I got all of them so it should be displaying properly on other browsers now. I've also added an About sixthseal.com page to the sidebar since I'm pretty much brain dead from lack of sleep and I can't concentrate on my programming assignment. Sleep beckons me...

This is what the stairway bin looks like after it's been through the Easter weekend. The cleaners usually empty the bin everyday but the long Easter weekend saw the bin filled to the point of spilling. Oh well, at least it's getting cleaned up today. Anyway, I've finally updated the About me page. It's been more than a year since it was modified in any way and things have changed since then. A word of warning, it's self-indulgent and a "pouring your heart out" thing, so read at your own risk! ;)

I mean seriously, look at me! I hate having hair shagging in my eyes, it makes me feel irritable and I've been meaning to get it cut, but I've always managed to put it off because I'm lazy. Now that it's seriously long (for me anyway), I want to get it cut but I can't! It's Easter weekend and today's still a holiday for most shops (Easter Monday) and Anzac Day is coming up and I don't know when I can get a haircut. I've been known to chop off my own hair [sixthseal.com] and I might do that again if I don't get around to making an appointment with a hairdresser soon. Right now, I'm just managing by slicking my front hair back with water, and quickly putting on my headphones and that gets it out of my eyes at least.

This blog went thru a period when the posts were very food-centric. :) This was a trait that jumped transmission media from email to blogs. I used to pad my emails with what I had for lunch/dinner/whatever and this also started appearing in my blog when I couldn't think of anything to write. Easiest thing in the world, go out with a digicam, snap your lunch or dinner, and voila - there's a post to meet your daily quota. =D This daily thing is something I commit to, because I'll like to remember what I did on a certain day, even if it's nothing.

Well, here's another one for old times sake, what with the first anniversary and everything. This is the Ragin' Cajun burger [mcdonalds.com.au] (scroll down a bit), it's part of McDonald's New Tastes Menu which changes every once in a while. I had this for lunch today. Now usually, the things on the New Tastes Menu are rather dismal, but not this...this is actually good. Spicy and nice. They are having a free size-up promotion on the drink if you're ordering the Ragin' Cajun meal with french fries and drinks. This means that when you order the large meal, the drink becomes huge. Obscenely so. I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but it's much bigger than the normal large drink. They don't even normally have it in this size.

And while we're on the topic of food, here's the Flake Noir. Cadbury's Flake with dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate. It says "New" but now that I think of it, I distinctly remember having this last year. Damn those marketing people...taking advantage of my dismal memory and making me buy stuff that's not new after all. ;)

I've started to take photos of the halls and the surrounding area today. Here's one of the spiky tree (I don't know what it's called) at "The Mound". The Mound is a very small hill (a bump rather) in the common lawn area of Roberts Hall. The tree is interesting because the leaves are long, thin and cylindrical. It's fun to grab one of the leaves and start smacking people around with it. ;)

[Added @ 11:27 PM]

Link: Warning over wild mushrooms [theage.com.au]

Autumn rains = mushroom season! How magical. ;)

Link: Two held after heroin seizure [theage.com.au]

Malaysia Boleh! =D

sixthseal.com was officially launched on 19th April 2002. :)

This makes today the first anniversary of sixthseal.com. In the beginning, everything was done manually using Microsoft FrontPage. Each daily update took at least 30 minutes, due to the painstaking and time-consuming process of adding a new post on the top, changing the Picture of the Day (POTD), adding the old POTD into the POTD archive (which held 7 days worth of pictures), running an FTP server, Telnet to my Silas (now called SNG) Unix account, FTP using Telnet to my own FTP server, manually getting the files, FTP using Telnet to sixthseal.com and manually putting the files. The final stages were done using a command line Telnet FTP program and I didn't know commands like mput or mget then, so each file has to be retrieved manually by typing commands like "get 20020403s.jpg". There was no commenting system, the dates and times had to be cut and pasted and manually modified, most pages had a template that was out of sync, and archives had to be manually created using HTML. In other words, it was a plain old HTML blog - no frills, no trills.

This was what the main page of the old HTML blog looked like

The plan was to have a 24/7 webcam running, a Picture of the Day (POTD) at the main page and daily updates. The 24/7 webcam plan fell through due to the Monash University's proxy, which requires HTTPS authentication and most FTP clients were not capable of doing that then. I've only done two manual webcam shots since then before totally scrapping the plan due to the infeasibility of doing that every day.

The first webcam shot - 19/04/2002 @ 14:28:24

The second webcam shot - 09/05/2002 @ 00:08:04

Ever since the beginning, I've always tried to include a picture in every post, and that was done using a Logitech QuickCam Pro 3000. This was replaced by a Nikon 885 on 25th May 2002. The time commitment needed to make daily updates was reduced drastically on 9th November 2002 when I finally pulled myself out of the stone age and installed a CMS - Movable Type. This decision managed to decrease the daily update time to 10-15 minutes. The blog essentially started anew and the old HTML blog was moved to my SNG Unix account. The start of 2003 makes it evident that sixthseal.com has outgrown the old host. sixthseal.com moved to a new host offering more disk space and bandwidth on 21st March 2003. The old HTML blog which was previously hosted on my SNG Unix account was (manually) imported into Movable Type after the move to keep everything on one site. veritas (previously known as "Mr. Foaf" (friend of a friend) and "friend") made his first appearance on 30th August 2002 as a guest author.

This was what the first post of the old HTML blog looked like

The first post was made on 19th April 2002 at 02.44 PM. Click here [sixthseal.com] to see the first post.

You might also be interested in seeing the posts for the whole month of April 2002 [sixthseal.com].

Other noteworthy posts in the first year (19th April 2002 - 19th April 2003)

hbpoh

This is not a fire drill? [sixthseal.com]
May 27, 2002
Melbourne This marks the first use of the Nikon 885.

Let my angels sing [sixthseal.com]
June 14, 2002
Melbourne Melbourne Indoor Pistol Club. Heckler and Koch USP 45. Beretta 92D 9mm. .357 caliber revolver. Real handguns, real ammo.

Mukah Trip Report [sixthseal.com]
July 01, 2002
Sibu Mukah. A small town near Sibu, Sarawak. Rural Adventures Part I.

Sibu Band Competition [sixthseal.com]
July 06, 2002
Sibu Band competition in my hometown.

Bintangor Day Trip [sixthseal.com]
July 07, 2002
Sibu Bintangor. Small town near Sibu, Sarawak. Rural Adventures Part II.

Sarikei [sixthseal.com]
July 11, 2002
Sibu Sarikei. Town near Sibu, Sarawak. Rural Adventures Part III.

Mt Buller Postmortem Part I [sixthseal.com]
August 05, 2002
Melbourne Mt Buller Ski Resort. Snow. Ski. Snowboard. Part I.

Mt Buller Postmortem Part II [sixthseal.com]
August 07, 2002
Melbourne Mt Buller Ski Resort. Snow. Ski. Snowboard. Part II.

WWE Global Warning Tour Melbourne 2002 [sixthseal.com]
August 12, 2002
Melbourne WWE. The Rock. Triple H. Stacy Kiebler. Torrie Wilson. Rikishi. Chris Jericho. Edge. Test. Kurt Angle. Brock Lesnar.

Grampians [sixthseal.com]
August 26, 2002
Melbourne MONSU. Grampians. Rocks. MacKenzie Falls.

Melbourne Spring Fashion Week [sixthseal.com]
September 06, 2002
Melbourne Melbourne Spring Fashion Week. Models. Catwalk.

Mid-Autumn Dinner [sixthseal.com]
September 23, 2002
Melbourne Mid-Autumn Festival dinner. Gathering of high school friends.

Breaking news: Monash University Clayton Campus, Melbourne shooting [sixthseal.com]
October 21, 2002
Melbourne October 21, 2002. Monash University Shooting. Gunman. Huan Yun Xiang.

The need for speed! [sixthseal.com]
November 16, 2002
Melbourne Go KartSport Racing. Indoor.

SEXPO 2002 Melbourne [sixthseal.com]
November 23, 2002
Melbourne SEXPO. Sex. Melbourne. 2002. Ron Jeremy. Jacklyn Lick. Serenity. Porn. XXX. Contains: Nudity.

MAN - The Powerstation Concert [sixthseal.com]
December 12, 2002
Sibu MAN - The Powerstation Concert.

Annual Christmas Procession 2002 [sixthseal.com]
December 22, 2002
Sibu Sibu Annual Christmas Procession 2002.

Victor/N Chung Concert @ KDU [sixthseal.com]
December 23, 2002
Sibu Victor/N Chung Concert @ KDU.

Junaco Park in Sibu (a last hurrah) [sixthseal.com]
January 04, 2003
Sibu Junaco Park in Sibu (a last hurrah).

Australian Open 2003 [sixthseal.com]
January 15, 2003
Melbourne Australian Open 2003. Daniela Hantuchova. Alexandra Stevenson. Denisa Chladkova. Adriana Serra Zanetti. Margaret Court Arena.

Karen's Birthday @ Dion [sixthseal.com]
March 09, 2003
Melbourne Karen's Birthday @ Dion. Greek. Ouzo.

Melbourne Moomba Waterfest [sixthseal.com]
March 10, 2003
Melbourne Melbourne Moomba Waterfest. getting together and having fun. Fireworks. Carnival.

THE KOLLECTIVE [sixthseal.com]
March 30, 2003
Melbourne Do you want to rule the world with an iron fist? JOIN US AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! We need YOU! THE KOLLECTIVE.

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" [sixthseal.com]
April 04, 2003
Melbourne Magnum "The Sixties Nine" Wood Choc Cherry Guevara Peace Man Go Candy Warhol Jami Hendrix Guava Lamp Cinnaman on the Moon John Lemon Choc Work Orange

veritas
previously known as Mr.Foaf and friend

DXM [sixthseal.com]
August 30, 2002
Melbourne "friend" - First appearance on sixthseal.com. DXM Trip Report.

It's 4:20 somewhere [sixthseal.com]
September 08, 2002
Melbourne Mr. Foaf - Second appearance on sixthseal.com. Cannabis (marijuana, weed, grass).

Where are you going in such a hurry? [sixthseal.com]
September 27, 2002
Melbourne Mr. Foaf - 150 mg methamphetamine, insufflated.

Dusted by an Angel [sixthseal.com]
September 30, 2002
Melbourne Mr. Foaf - Rave. Lab 4. Hard Kandy. Durex. Safe Sex. Ecstasy. MDMA. Methamphetamine. Cannabis. Ketamine? 2C-B? PCP? Hospital. Ambulance. A story of meth paranoia.

Veritas - Latin for Truth [sixthseal.com]
November 08, 2002
Melbourne veritas - The first appearance of guest writer veritas in his own nick.

Cool Codeine [sixthseal.com]
November 19, 2002
Melbourne veritas - Nurofen Plus. Codeine.

Xany Xanax [sixthseal.com]
December 04, 2002
Malaysia veritas - Xanax. alprazolam.

Benzo bliss [sixthseal.com]
December 13, 2002
Malaysia veritas - Xanax. Valium. alprazolam. diazepam.

Kai Sing Guo (Fruit of happiness) [sixthseal.com]
December 15, 2002
Malaysia veritas - Erimin-5. Erimin 5. 5. Nimetrazepam.

Pill review - Orange AK47s [sixthseal.com]
December 25, 2002
Malaysia veritas - Orange AK47 circa December 2002. Ketamine.

Green AK47s on NYE [sixthseal.com]
January 02, 2003
Malaysia veritas - Green AK47 circa late December 2002. Amphetamine. Methamphetamine. Ketamine? Methcathinone?

Green Dragon [sixthseal.com]
January 18, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Green Dragon. Cannabis dissolved in 95% alcohol. Everclear.

Heroin [sixthseal.com]
January 25, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Heroin. Springvale. 50. cap. Insufflated. Chasing the Dragon.

Royal Blunts Cognac Flavored EZ Roll Tube [sixthseal.com]
February 01, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Royal Blunts Cognac Flavored EZ Roll Tube. Cannabis. Marijuana. Weed.

Cones [sixthseal.com]
February 09, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Mountain High. Cones. Cannabis. Marijuana. Weed.

Pill report: White ? (Question Mark) [sixthseal.com]
February 14, 2003
Melbourne veritas - White ? Melbourne. February 2003. Question Mark. Ketamine.

Project Doctor Shopping I - Project Deep Sedation [sixthseal.com]
March 02, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Doctor shopping. Prescription fraud. Temazepam. Diazepam. Valium. clonazepam. Klonopin.

Pill: @ (brownish white with blackish brown specks) [sixthseal.com]
March 14, 2003
Melbourne veritas - @ ats dot coms MDMA Ecstasy March 2003.

Xanax scripting [sixthseal.com]
March 26, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Xanax. alprazolam. script.

500 mg dexamphetamine + 200 mg clonazepam = success! [sixthseal.com]
March 28, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Dexedrine. Paxam. Klonopin. clonazepam. dexamphetamine. dextroamphetamine. script.

Baking soda potentiates amphetamines!!! =D [sixthseal.com]
March 30, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Dexedrine. dexamphetamine. dextroamphetamine. Alkalinizing Agents. sodium bicarbonate. baking soda.

C21H23NO5 [sixthseal.com]
April 04, 2003
Melbourne veritas - C21H23NO5 heroin Springvale insufflated smack H.

4-MAR (U4EA) [sixthseal.com]
April 07, 2003
Melbourne veritas - 4-MAR U4EA U4Euh 4-methylaminorex

Nicorette Inhaler Review [sixthseal.com]
April 15, 2003
Melbourne veritas - Nicorette Inhaler Review

Thanks for stopping by everyone! :)

There I was, just coming into my room from a nice hot shower. I was drying my hair with my towel, sitting naked on the chair in front of the computer when DieHardX [geocities.com], my buddy since primary school, started up this conversation:

Chat log has been edited by deleting off-topic portions for smoother flow. It is otherwise intact.

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:35 PM
i'm taking
a photo of myself.....posting in my latest
face.....gf is asking 4 it!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:35 PM
okay send it to me too
i want to see your fish diet

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:36 PM
but i realized it all sux! veli bad angle n
veli hard 2 position 2 take ur own face! haha!
damn!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:36 PM
ok
i'm gonna send your my sexy body too

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:37 PM
oh shit! i'm taking my FACE onli!!!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:39 PM
which email do i send my sexy photo to?

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:40 PM
damn my sexy photo you have to take to long to
reply
i can sell for 40
hahaha

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:40 PM
fuck, r u serious?!!!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:40 PM
yes

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:41 PM
quick my sexy photo is waiting

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:41 PM
fuck! nus mail then! i hope my bro will not
shrink when i c it!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:44 PM
ok i sent already
dun masturbate to my pic please

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:44 PM
OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:45 PM
oh....not received yet...damn! i oredi took
out my bro n took off my shorts.....where is
ur sexy pic?!!!!!!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:45 PM
i already sent
wait first ya, dun shoot your load first
hahaha

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:46 PM
JIBAI KIA!

Okay, so it's not very sexy after all, but I'm tired and it was a candid self portrait. :)

Note: This is a post by veritas.

I'm sure of it. Strangely enough, only the limited editions seem to be susceptible to stock discrepancy.

My 6 pack of Foster's "Australian Grand Prix 2003 Melbourne 6 - 9 March" is missing two cans. I got that ages ago and alcohol is not my first drug of choice so it's been sitting in the fridge for a while.

My Heineken 500 ml "iRB Rugby World Cup 2003" 4 pack is also missing a can. Why? Why is the generic Hahn Ice Beer and Toohey's New left untouched when they've been in the fridge for even longer? Questions, questions. Oh, fear not, dear readers, I've not turned into a raging alcoholic in my quest to find a more socially acceptable substance during my break from chemicals. :) I just like a drink (with a couple of benzos, please) every once in a while.

Anyway, here's a chat log of me talking shit to an indifferent teddybwear:

veritas 4/18/2003 3:21 AM
yeah
well shit these things are illegal
if only it were legal, i'll have no worries

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:22 AM
ah dont you wish that

veritas 4/18/2003 3:22 AM
yeah
why should drug users be in jail?
why not spend more resources on rapists and
murderers and other violent crime offenders?

veritas 4/18/2003 3:22 AM
the law is fucked up
its unholy
if god were here he'll fucking smite the law
with his anger

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
are you sure ;)

veritas 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
yeah
he'll be sending down brimstone and hellfire
and all taht

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
ah thats brutal

veritas 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
for god says, everything i have created is
pure

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
drugs arent pure o_o

veritas 4/18/2003 3:24 AM
well looking at that phrase logically it can
be interpreted that god is saying everything i
have given the world is "pure" in that its
holy and for all his children to use

veritas 4/18/2003 3:25 AM
who made laws?
man
did god say drugs are bad?
no
it's not in the 10 commandments or anywhere in
the bible
nothing specifically mentioning intoxicating
agents

veritas 4/18/2003 3:25 AM
the legal system is SATAN

veritas 4/18/2003 3:25 AM
because satan is guilt and fear and thats what
i'm feeling now
god is all about love and peace

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
beware! the end is nigh
it is nigh i tell you

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
the world has gone away from the loving
creator

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
holy things are now unholy under satan's rule

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
okay i'm gonna stop talking now
:)

veritas 4/18/2003 3:32 AM
i'm feeling snubbed

Note: The nicknames have been changed. Those are not our real nicknames. The chat log is

unmodified otherwise.

P/S - Check back again late tomorrow night. :)

[Edit (18/04/2003 - 2:58 PM): I'm closing down the comments for this post at the request of a reader. This is the most verbose comments box to date, but unfortunately, it was degenerating into a potentially volatile religion pissing match. :)]

It's only 6 weeks before my graduation so I've started to take photos of anything and everything in an effort to document scenes of Melbourne that has been part of my life ever since I arrived here in 2000. I'm starting with the basics - campus and halls then moving to do photo shoots of the city and other places. Here's one I took today on the train, I was sitting in the first carriage and just shooting random pics of the train interior when I saw this:

No, not the guy in front of the photo. I'm referring to the train driver helping a physically challenged guy on an motorised wheelchair to exit the carriage. I found this photo nice, because it showcases the level of service available for the physically disadvantaged here. Train drivers will stop and come out of the driver compartment and come into the carriage to help them enter and exit. I've been impressed by the allowances this country makes for the physically challenged ever since I was here.

Link of the Day: Infected Mushroom live at Bliss 4 @ QBH tonight!!! [earthcore.com.au]

Infected Mushroom! If you don't know who they are, kindly disregard the next paragraph and continue reading from the one after.

Heresy! Go back and listen to your Paul Oakenfold and Paul Van Dyk. That's what trance means to you anyway. :p

If you read that anyway, you have my apologies for the unacceptable elitist insult. ;) I was impressed by their intense psy-trance when I was introduced to their music and I had wanted to see them live ever since. I want to go so much...but I can't. Unfortunately my plans of working ahead to have an Easter break totally free from assignments has not gone according to schedule. There are just too many assignments to complete and I need to catch up over Easter break. Why can't I take a single night off to go?

Well, because if I go, it's not going to just affect one night, I'll need at least a week to recover. Why? Because if I go, I just know I'm gonna go all out by justifying it's the last big one before I go back, so I'm going to be pushing the limits, fuck the consequences, going out with a bang and that. And the thought of me contemplating "going all out" scares me too coz in my dictionary:

going all out
phrase
1. Mental state where excess is celebrated and consequences are not taken into consideration.
2. Implicitly trusting your body to handle and deal with the strain exerted by the prodigious consumption of various supplements.
3. Living only for the "now".

See also: Trips to the hospital, formidable financial repercussions, extreme neurotoxicity, comedown from hell.

I've also noticed that every time I decide to go all out something bad happens at the end which more often than not causes regret or remorse. =D I trust myself not to do anything too stupid and reckless that will lead to long lasting repercussions, but still the recovery period from my sessions of going all out (in this context) takes a week. One week of (horrible) depression, overwhelming anxiety, panic attacks, unshakable lethargy, mood swings, suicidal tendencies, crying spells and utter helplessness before the dopamine and serotonin stores starts grudgingly filling up again.

There was a time in my life when I would have said "fuck it" and went all out, quad-dropping* and candyflipping* every few hours and get totally mashed and HAVE FUN till the break of dawn. Unfortunately, I seem to have sobered up and realized the importance of not fucking up this semester, because it's my last semester and I'm graduating in June. I want to spend my Easter break catching up and finishing assignments and doing some photo shoots instead of lying in bed depressed and feeling like a significant chuck of my brain has taken leave.

That doesn't mean I don't want to go though. This is probably the last big event that's happening before I go back, and Infected Mushroom!!! It'll be absolutely crazy in there, I want to go! I can't imagine what a powerful experience it'll be to be candyflipping* while listening to Infected Mushroom live in a "psychedelic mad house featuring multiple monster lasers, death defying stunts, mind bending installations + more".

*I don't do any of these things, mind you, it's just an analogy. I don't even know what it means! It's not to be taken literally. ;)

It will be a total mind-fuck. I want to be there! But I can't. Our one week long Easter break has got to be used for catching up and assignments instead of recovering. Thus, I'm afraid I'll have to ban everyone from mentioning the words "infected" and "mushroom" in front of me, in my near vicinity, within hearing range, or in the comments. This is because I don't want to be reminded of what I'm missing. :( Those who insist on defying this ban will receive a hefty kick in the balls. That goes the same for girls, I'm sure it's gonna hurt too. =D

I'm serious, no one use the words "infected" and "mushroom" until tomorrow, when the event is over.

You'll be the death of me.
Set...everything...right...
Why...no...utilization?
Why???
Simple...exercise...
Why...can't...complete...
No...not...that...
Not..sleepless...night...

I finished my morning classes in Clayton early and even managed to run to Caulfield to grab some tute exercises that I didn't need after all and came home by 12 PM. Phew. I woke up at around 7 am, I've been sleeping too much lately, but I'm glad to report that I only had 7 hours of sleep last night, like a normal person gets. ;)

Sleep is like a rollercoaster with me, sometimes I go for days without sleeping and sometimes I get heaps of it. Hmm...that doesn't sound very logical does it? Well...you know what's interesting? I got two Kool Mints for the price of one from the vending machine today. It always happens...the roundish stuff at the bottom of the vending machine always gets misaligned and you can get two or even three for one if they align just right, on top of one another.

Not sounding very coherent today. You know what awaits? Tute exercises that's what. I'll better get them done before I lose all my energy. Breakfast really does make a lot of difference, I always skip it, but it really stops you from feeling tired before the day is over.

Note: This is a post by veritas.

The lack of postings on my behalf is due to the fact that I've been taking a break from substances, and still am. Don't ask, it's a really long story. :) Long story short - I have a strong inclination (read: dependency issues) towards stimulants, which I've chosen to ignore and it took a good friend to make me realize (read: admit) my stimulant usage can no longer be properly described with the adjective 'moderate' anymore, and so I'm staying away from all substances of that class for a while to regain perspective. Flush, flush, ho hum. No one likes to talk about the dark side. Anyway, here's a legal review for a change - the Nicorette Inhaler [nicorette.com.au]. This is marketed as a product to assist in stopping smoking and retails for A$5.45 for the starter pack with 6 cartridges.

Inside the starter pack is the inhaler tube (wrapped), the 6 cartridges (sealed), a booklet and a plastic pack for storing the inhaler tube and cartridges.

The cartridges are sealed into a pack containing 6 cartridges. This is the front view:

This is the back view:

The cartridges are supposed to contain 10 mg of "nicotinum" each, which is a time release nicotine formula by Nicorette. This is a side view of an individual cartridge:

Notice the cotton center which has the actual goods. Here's an isometric view to show the sealed edges:

What you're supposed to do it to put the cartridge into the inhaler tube and screw it in. This breaks the foils you see on the edges of the cartridge picture above and releases the nicotine contained in the cotton center of the cartridge.

After the cartridge is in place inside the inhaler tube, you're supposed to use it like a normal cigarette - inhale, exhale. Each cartridge has the equivalent of 10 mg of nicotine and is supposed to last for 20 minutes of continuous use. Upon consulting my pack of Marlboro Reds I noticed that each cigarette contains 1.0 mg or less of nicotine.

Now this is really funny because using one of the cartridges is not 10 times stronger than smoking a cigarette, at least not in my experience. I've used the cartridges over a period of a couple of days and the experiences have been much less than smoking a regular cigarette. Don't get me wrong, having two of the Nicorette Inhaler cartridges in a row will floor your ass, but it just doesn't feel the same. This is what a used cartridge looks like:

The inhalers has a nicotine buzz that sorta creeps up on you, you don't feel it until after a while and then it still doesn't feel like the buzz that you get off a cigarette. It just doesn't feel the same. The stuff inside the cartridges can be a bit harsh too if you inhale too hard, it's like inhaling aerosolized water droplets. A regular cigarette produces a light headed buzz that this product doesn't emulate. I think this light headed buzz is because of the carbon monoxide content in a normal cigarette.

Well, I don't think Nicorette Inhalers is anything like smoking a regular cigarette, but it's better than nicotine gum for quitting smoking. You still get the experience of "holding a cigarette" and you go through the same motions as smoking a cigarette. It does give you a nicotine buzz too, and even though the buzz is different from a regular cigarette, it can reduce the craving (for a while at least) and it's convenient to have in places where you can't light up, like in a cinema, lecture theatre, office etc. But that's defeating the purpose of the product, this something to help you quit smoking, not a convenient replacement for it. :)

Arrgggghhhh...I've been sleeping too much these days. I just woke up in time today to grab something (the something above is sweet and sour chicken with rice) from slops before lunch services closes. Well, according to my calculations, my sleep debt should have been paid off by now, so there would be no 10-12 hour sleeps again after today. Hereby, the court orders the plaintiff "Mr. Sandman" to stamp the sleep debt sheet "Paid in Full". Er...yes, back to work. =D

I just got Likki's [blogspot.com] birthday present. Thanks Lik Chuen! I really appreciate that you took the time to make the card yourself. :)

There's also a letter and a LoTR ring inscribed with the elfin script in the package. Looking at the handwritten letter, it strangely reminds me of a pen-pal I used to have when I was in early secondary school.

The package is actually dated 11/4 but I just got it today, even though there's no mail on Sunday. (?) Thanks again Lik Chuen, for your present. :)

Well, today was very rainy and cold so I spent most of the day sleeping. I couldn't help myself, when it's dark outside at 3 pm I felt so sleepy I crawled into bed and slept with the heater on. Heh. Dark + rainy + cold = sleep. Well, I've got to finish up my tute exercises now since I spent most of the day sleeping. It's the weather I tell you...making me all sleepy and lazy, but I love this kind of weather anyway. Mmm...melancholic.

I woke up today feeling depressed for no particular reason. Just didn't feel like doing much, and was feeling drained from the last couple of days. I needed a haircut really badly, so I went down to Clayton but there was a lot of people and I didn't feel like waiting so I just grabbed some lunch and came back. I saw this advertisement at the bus loop that really cheered me up though. Heh. Funny, this one.

It's against sunlight, so it's not a very good picture. It shows the dad interestedly reading an "Options Trading" book as a bedtime story while his kid looks bored

Well, went back to Clayton again later in the afternoon to get some groceries with a friend. This was what I was talking about before.

Deli meat and cheese aisle - what can you spot that shouldn't be there? There are 8 out of place items in the picture.

Heaps of stuff are being left at the wrong aisles and it just seems a bit disorganized. Anyway, I got some bananas so all would be good tomorrow. Heh. Placebo or not, it tastes good anyway. Actually, I'm feeling okay now, just had an introspective moment last night and it gave me a lot to ponder about life, the universe and everything. Don't ask. ;)

I've been pretty busy with my assignments this week. There's just one final one to finish up this weekend. Yay! Go me! =D I'm taking a break tonight though, took a nap this afternoon and it refreshed me. Okay, I haven't done the Friday Five [fridayfive.org] for a while now, so here goes:

Apr 11, 2003

Answer the following five questions in your weblog or journal. Make sure you leave a comment here with a link to your post or just leave your answers in the comments section.

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
Korn. It was 1996 and they were doing their Life is Peachy tour. This was in Christchurch, NZ.

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
Hmm...if I had to choose one I'll say NOFX. I like the Fat Wreck Chords compilations too, that's the bands that are under Fat Mike's label.

3. What's your favorite song?
I have a lot of favorite songs. I'm listening to 1200 Micrograms - Mescaline now and the Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas soundbites are sounding really good. Cheesy, but good.

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
Guitar.

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
I can't think of one...music is ephemeral...fleeting...kinda like life in that sense.

Okay, that's it from me. I'm going to get some dinner now. :)

There's 1000 words right there. ;) I've having a really busy time with all my assignments, so I haven't been making real posts lately. I'm going to take a nap now coz I woke up fairly early today. I'll post again tonite. Oh and that picture is of the Monash University campus in Caulfield.

I just got the birthday present from my girlfriend today. :) It takes ages for registered mail to get from Malaysia -> Melbourne, don't know why that is.

It's a U2 black shirt. :) I think she remembers the U2 purple one that was my favourite in 1999/2000. I don't remember why, but I developed some kind of weird attachment to that one and I was wearing it every third day or something like that. Heh. I haven't got a black shirt so this one would fit into my wardrobe nicely. Thanks Louisa! :)

[Edit: Here's the picture of me in the shirt. :)]

The computer labs are full at all times of the day. Okay, that wasn't even funny, I'm too busy right now, got heaps of stuff to do. :)

I've walked this route nearly every day for 2 1/2 years now and I've never seen this sign before. I could have sworn it wasn't there before, and yet the sign is dated 1996. It's just by the instant traffic lights to halls too, so I wonder how I could have missed it all the while. I wanted to post this yesterday, but I forgot. I just found it strange that I've never noticed this sign before today. Golf practice indeed. Heh! :)

Note: This is a post by veritas.

OMG, I just found a cure for 'speed dick' aka "I can't get it up when I'm tweaking, dammit!". I just saw several photos of a really hot chick which provoked an instant response of mind blinding lust. =D I'm not at liberty to share the photos (you don't know what you're missing!) so unfortunately I can't show you the tantalizing images that provokes thoughts of pure desire and lust for the subject. I fear that photographic media will never arouse me again after this. I'll be subconsciously comparing other photographs against the ones I was privileged to see today and all will fall short. I had previously thought I've gained a particular 'tolerance' towards photographic media as a visual arousal cue, but I was wrong. I've can't remember the last time I've been so stimulated just by looking at a photo!

The first glance produced a nearly uncontrollable state of arousal although my mind still hasn't registered and processed the components of the image yet. It was a Pavlov reaction in that sense, I was terribly aroused, but I didn't know why, because my neurons have yet to translate the visual input into a cohesive image. These are truly amazing photos of a really beautiful girl. It just did the trick for me, and then it was "Houston, we have liftoff". The fact that the pictures alone overcame the seldom talked about side-effect of amphetamines certainly was interesting and deserves mention.

Granted, the subject of the photos is very sexually appealing, but the amphetamine induced er...contraction of that particular organ isn't very easy to overcome either and that makes this a case where excessive use of hyperbolic adjectives is warranted. ;) I'm still looking at the photos now, and I'm feeling another rush of blood to my loins as I visually devour her feminine features - the alluring face, with eyes that seem to stare straight at me, the lovely shade of wispy brown hair falling beautifully around her, and I'm hypnotized by her soft, smooth skin and I long for just a taste of her tender, perfect legs and in my fantasy, I am gently parting her supple, yielding legs and indulging in her essence while she exhales softly and reaches out for me...

Okay, now writing all that made me need a really cold shower again. ;) I think I'll better crash the benzo tea party [sixthseal.com] and eat every single one of the guests now (except dexamphetamine, of course - he wasn't invited anyway). It's getting late and sleep is still far from my dopamine saturated brain. Now that I think of it, I haven't eaten anything in days. Oh well, I'll just get some food in me when I wake up. I'm still very much awake and charged up, so do your magic, alprazolam, and lead me down the path where reality is dreaming and the land is abundant with Zzz...

I saw this ad on the floor while walking on the Clayton campus today. It's for the regular poster sales they have at the campus center. Very enigmatic...

Anyway, I just got a call from an Optus representative offering to upgrade my phone set. It sounded good until he mentioned the 24 month contract. I told him there's no way I can do that, coz I'm graduating in June. Well, he said I'm due for an upgrade (probably part of their new customer service to reduce churn) and offered me A$11 free call credits per month for 12 months. There's a catch though, if I leave within 12 months, I have to pay A$55 and even my poor math skillz tells me that's not good value considering the fact that I'm graduating in June. Okay, their anti-churn techniques are very sneaky indeed. Oh, and churn is the industry term for customers switching over to a competitor's network. Now, I bargained for a 6 month term of A$22 credits but of course he couldn't make that happen. Haha! I pushed for the 'yes'AnyPhone plan, which I really want to get on coz of the 30 cents for 10 minutes calls to landlines and mobiles. It's very useful when using a calling card at night. Unfortunately, that requires me to change my plan to a A$55 dollar a month one, with A$55 call credits. It sounded okay at first, but wait, being on that plan will increase my 30 second charges by 6 cents. Of course I declined. Oh yeah, something funny happened at this point. The rep was looking at my details and he was wondering how I got on a government plan. Heh! My current plan has really cheap per minute rates and it's charged every 30 seconds (more cost effective) and I need to pay for usage only, so it's not actually a plan. He puzzled over it and asked me how I got on this rate which is meant for loyal customers in the government and large organizations. Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know. I stopped pushing for upgrades after that, none of them sounded appealing to me. I also don't want to lose my current rates, although it's very possible that the reason I'm getting these rates is due to a mistake on Optus's part. I'm already on a loyalty government plan with cheap per minute rates? I don't mind at all. ;)

Note: This is a post by veritas.

Disclaimer: Important! Read me first! [sixthseal.com]

Caution: Important! Read me first! [sixthseal.com]

Insufflated methamphetamine doses has never "lasted" this long before. I don't mean "last" as in keeping me awake, that's pointless when you're all scattered and shit from the comedown. By "last" I mean, keeping me awake WITH mental clarity! =D Unthinkable! Personally, I need to re-dose frequently with methamphetamines or else "mental fatigue" sets in. You know what I'm talking about...it's that twilight zone when you're wide awake but you can't do anything coz your mind is scattered left, right and center. It's been more than 24 hours since my last bump of 4-MAR and I'm still fresh! Unimaginable! Very unusual long lasting 'mental clarity' effects, personally, I'm already convinced that this really is the rare 4-MAR (U4EA) instead of crystal methamphetamine.

Remember when I said I'll keep the other point till a later time to understand the substance better? Uh yeah, I think I'll consume it today after all, strictly in the interests of limiting my legal liability by discarding all the evidence that could be used against me. The disposal of the substance will take place in my nostrils, which changes the legal distinction quite significantly, from possession to consumption. There you go, I've already significantly reduced the legal ramifications. What? Denial? Isn't that just a river in Egypt? ;) Anyway, I don't fear you, long lasting 4-MAR. I've got a benzo tea party happening right here in my room:

Valium: Klonopin 2mg, is that your baby? My...she's grown so much since I last saw her.
Klonopin 2 mg: Yeah, next thing you know, she'll be leaving me to go off to college.
Klonopin 0.5 mg: Waa...waa...
Xanax: This is good tea.
Dexamphetamine: Hello, mind if I join in?
Xanax: Go away, can't you read? Benzos ONLY!
Dexamphetamine: *mumbles*there's some drug classification discrimination happening around here*mumbles*

Oh, and by the way, I DO NOT recommend exercise while on 4-MAR. Moderate walking had my heart jack hammering and my brain was going:
*coronary alert* *coronary alert* *stroke eminent* *cardiac arrest in 10 seconds* *hypertensive crisis in progress*
Seriously though, I feared for the well-being of my heart and I nearly blacked out. This is not paranoia, I timed by heart beats. So yeah, avoid exercise while on 4-MAR. My heart is still pounding after 15 minutes of rest, so there is a real risk of cardiac failure, all jokes aside. Beware. Exercise (oh, the irony) caution.

Anyway, blood pressure goes up too, to the point that I can feel the pressure against my veins, if that sounds logical. There is a high body load involved indeed, I try to refrain from using hyperbolic terms, but I can't this time. My blood pressure is skyrocketing. Fuck, I feel like I'm going to kick the bucket anytime. Sheesh...and I'm not even moving! Please, if you're considering 4-MAR consumption, be very cautious about the high body load. Serious health issues may lie ahead, if you have existing hypertension/heart conditions. Be still, my beating heart. Onegai. Just take it easy for a while alright?

Okay, that's a very serious side effect that you need to be aware of. It's very, very stressful on the heart. Erowid was right about aminorex substances and pulmonary hypertension [erowid.org]. I like to think of myself as experienced and yet I forget (or to be honest, ignore) the important axiom "You can always take more, but you can't take less". I don't mean to go on and on about this, but it's a serious issue and deserves to be emphasized. Just be cautious with the dosages of 4-MAR, it stresses the heart like no other substance. I find (meth)amphetamines can't even compare to the stress 4-MAR puts on the heart. Take care with this substance! It'll be the perfect study/work drug if only it didn't tax the heart so much. I prefer it to dextroamphetamine and methamphetamine for studying and assignments, but my heart just can't stand the strain being exerted on it by this particular substance. I'm just glad my heart seems to be coping with the stress. Thank God!

Anyway, I went to get some multivitamins at the pharmacy (which explains the walking bit):

Swisse Men's ULTIVITE
Multi-vitamin
Mineral & Anti-oxidant
With Herbs
Formula 1
Formulated by a professor based on 20 years of research.
60 tablets (2 months supply) for A$27.40

Me: Hello, can you recommend a good multivitamin that really works?
Girl: Yeah, this one is really good, it's got all the daily requirements so you only need one per day.
Me: I hear that not all the vitamins and minerals are digested and utilized with synthetic multivitamins though, does this really absorb well?
Girl: Well, they've got one for men and one for women and I'm on the one for women and I find it very energizing. There's ginkgo in them, which gives you a boost of energy.
Me: Hmm...I don't need that extra stuff. I just want to ensure that I'm getting all the vitamins and minerals I need when I skip meals.
Girl: (noticing my dilated pupils) I see. Well, this one will work well for that, although you need to take it with meals. It gives you a boost of energy too.
Me: I don't need a boost of energy. (Thinking: I'll take other 'nutritional supplements' if I'm after a boost of energy) I just want a good balanced multivitamin with a high bioavailability (I impress myself sometimes) when I don't eat meals.
Girl: Oh, this would be perfect then. It's not meant to be a meal replacement, but the formula does maximize absorption.
Me: Great!

Tweaker's best friend? I don't know, but it could be. :) Just look at the size of these monsters! The pills are huge! It's pictured next to an A$2 coin as a scale guide. Marvel at the impressive list of vitamins, minerals and herbs on the container. Hmm...I'm half marveling and half worried about potential interactions with other substances. There seems to be a lot of questionable herbal extracts in there. I'm trusting that your 20 years of research includes interaction studies with prescription and recreational drugs, prof.

Hyperbolic adjectives used in the post: unthinkable, unimaginable, jack hammering, pounding, skyrocketing, huge, impressive, marveling.

I am superhuman. The word 'sleep' is foreign to me!

Caution: Experimenting with chemical substances has risks associated with it. Make sure you're fully aware of the risks you're taking before consuming any substances. This report is not encouraging the use of illicit substances, and is just a personal "trip report" (journal) by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain does not condone any illegal activity and advices interested users to fully research the substance in question before even considering taking it.

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors. The owner of the domain and the main author of this blog posts under the nick 'hbpoh' and is a distinct and separate entity from the guest author 'veritas'. The main author and owner of the domain is not to be mistaken for the guest author or vice versa. The terms "domain owner", "main author", "blog owner" and the nicknames 'hbpoh' and 'killuminati' are used interchangeably and is collectively referred to as the persona "Huai Bin" and this is listed by the whois lookup as the owner of this domain. The terms "guest author" and "veritas" are used interchangeably and veritas does not reside at the same place as the owner of the domain nor is he affiliated or associated in any way with the owner of the domain besides having limited posting privileges on this blog. The owner of the domain does not have any personal information about veritas. The owner of this domain does not possess any illegal substances.

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors. The owner of the domain and the main author of this blog posts under the nick 'hbpoh' and is a distinct and separate entity from the guest author 'veritas'. The main author and owner of the domain is not to be mistaken for the guest author. The terms "domain owner", "main author", "blog owner" and the nicknames 'hbpoh' and 'killuminati' are used interchangeably and is collectively referred to as the persona "Huai Bin" and this is listed by the whois lookup as the owner of this domain. The terms "guest author" and "veritas" are used interchangeably and veritas does not reside at the same place as the owner of the domain nor is he affiliated or associated in any way with the owner of the domain besides having limited posting privileges on this blog. The owner of the domain does not have any personal information about veritas. The owner of this domain does not possess any illegal substances.

Caution: Experimenting with chemical substances has risks associated with it. Make sure you're fully aware of the risks you're taking before consuming any substances. This report is not encouraging the use of illicit substances, and is just a personal "trip report" (journal) by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain does not condone any illegal activity and advices interested users to fully research the substance in question before even considering taking it.

Two foils of 4-MAR containing 100 mg each.

Okay, I have recently acquired 2 points (a point is 0.1 gram or 100 mg - local slang) of a substance sold to me as Ice. I've been told it's NOT methamphetamine but U4EA (U4Euh). U4EA (pronounced euphoria) is the common name for 4-methylaminorex (4-MAR) [erowid.org]. Now this substance is not common at all, so I was surprised at the availability of it. It costs only A$25 for a point of powder. It's not pure crystals (that's a given, considering the price) but I can see crystals in the crushed white powder mix. It burnt really bad going up, and take note that I regularly insufflate crushed dexamphetamine tablets, so I know the difference between an unremarkable burning and a fairly bad burning, although my scale might differ from yours. :)

Substance: 4-methylaminorex (4-MAR) also known as U4EA (Euphoria).
Initial dosage: 50 mg (eyeballed 1/2 of a point)
Method of administration: Insufflated (snorted)
Notes: I had 50 mg dexamphetamine orally about 6 hours ago on an empty stomach, if that's of interest. I was coming down when I insufflated this.
Taste: Very, very bitter, like methamphetamine (licked a bit off the foil).
Drip: Gosh, I don't even want to go into the drip. Nasty, bitter stuff. Man...either the crystals are cut with something like quinine or 4-MAR tastes different from methamphetamine.
Visual: It's a white powder with crystalline bits visible inside.

I'm feeling charged up now, renewed the flagging dexamphetamine high. I snorted another 1/4 point and it's definitely feeling pretty speedy here in my slice of space/time. :) I can't tell for sure (scientifically) whether it's really U4EA (4-MAR), but it's definitely at least methamphetamine. It takes fairly long to come up though, it's not the instant charge of methamphetamine but it took damn near half an hour to make it's presence felt. It feels different from meth though, but unless someone knows how to test for methamphetamine vs 4-MAR I can't say for sure.

The white powder with crystals inside the foil

My contact is pretty knowledgeable about drugs, and he's not a dodgy guy plus I can see no reason for him to say it's U4EA as opposed to meth, coz I would have bought it anyway. He also got hold of something that most people can't (Uncle Sid is in town =D), so I don't doubt his ability to get rare substances. I don't care either way, coz it's good stuff compared to the meth that I used to get off another contact. It's definitely a powerful substance, just 0.75 mg (snorted) staved off and totally negated a 50 mg dexamphetamine comedown and overcame the built up amphetamine tolerance to give me a new rush of energy. My contact warned me to go slow on this one, and that's good advice. With only 0.75 mg insufflated, I'm feeling borderline amphetamine overdosage indications, although strangely without the anxiety. This is going to keep me up for a long while indeed. I get icy cold hands and feet and compulsive behavior like biting my bottom lip.

stop doing that! stop it! can't...feel a compulsion...stop! my bottom lip is getting mangled.

I'm feeling a strange body high too. Yes, a very different body high. I'm feeling it now, it's like the feeling of pissing while on dexamphetamine, you get this head rush and a tingly sensation all over your body. It started out very messy and scattered and it's quite an intense high, but whether this is from the combination with dexamphetamine or just that I took too much amphetamines type stimulants in one day, I don't know. What I do know is that my heart is beating uncomfortably fast and that worries me. I'm ignoring it though, standard amphetamine side effects *whistling in denial*.

Okay, after an hour, my mind is starting to clear up, and heavy jaw clenches and jaw tension is getting better. I feel like I can actually work and think on this drug again, instead of the messy, scattered come up I felt then. Unless I have contrary evidence, I believe my contact in that this is 4-MAR (U4EA). I'm very wide awake and clear headed now. It's a surprisingly very 'clear' and 'clean' high compared to methamphetamine. Keep in mind that this is qualitative evidence based on my experience, how much is placebo and how much is true pharmacological effects is questionable. What I mean by this is that I can't scientifically claim that this is either 4-MAR or meth, but I can say for certain that the substance is a strong stimulant comparable with methamphetamines. Furthermore, 50 mg of dextroamphetamine was consumed orally beforehand (T -6:00) and that might have affected the substance in unknown ways. I'll try again next time with just 4-MAR alone to really get a feel for the substance.

Front of the T-Shirt

Back of the T-Shirt

Okay, I've been getting into fooling around with Photoshop during my breaks. I'm currently working on one of my 4000 word assignments now and fleshed this out during a 15 minute break. I'm was thinking about this during the character design requests for The Kollective [sixthseal.com] manga (which will be drawn in late June by Daniel [geocities.com], the aspiring manga creator ;)) a couple of posts back and I'm planning to get this printed into a real t-shirt. I like how it came out, it reflects my interests and it's subtle enough to not mean anything to people not into the scene (and thus not attracting unwanted attention) and yet gets the point across with an obscure reference (which rewards people in the scene by 'getting' the reference and other people for having the intellectual threshold to grasp the reference in principal). What does everyone think? Should the back design be on the front? I'm thinking this is better to get more 'views'. Putting the back design on the front is counter-productive because most people tend of avoid eye contact and looking at my chest is too obvious and so people will not have the chance to read everything. Having "I'm faster than you..." on the front is meant as a 'hook' to get attention. The phrase is fast and easy to read and ideally will generate interest. If the 'hook' is effective, people will turn back to see the 'punch line' at the back of the t-shirt, so to speak. They can then read the more verbose back design (which also p1mps my site ;)) while my back is to them without appearing too hostile/confrontational or obvious due to the "eye contact factor". Thus, more 'views'. This is from someone who's a computing major and is really clueless about design and hasn't done any sociology and minimal psychology subjects, so I may be speaking out of my ass here with my quasi pop-psychology, but that's what I've noticed from human behavior extrapolated to effective t-shirt designs. ;) The "Powered by:" idea is from the AMD/Intel slogans and the methamphetamine molecular structure picture and chemical formula is from Rhodium [rhodium.ws]. Any chemistry majors out there, feel free to correct any errors in the molecular structure or chemical formula. Also, the fonts are going to be sharper than they appear right now. Otherwise, I'll like to hear about what everyone thinks. Comments please, good design or bad design and why?

Edit: I've been informed by a respected chemistry degree holder that the chemical formula does not match the molecular structure. Now, I'm no chemistry expert and I failed even SPM level chemistry, but I think the ASCII representation is correct, they just don't show the hydrogen atoms. How do I know which ones are hydrogen atoms and what are carbon atoms? I compared it to this 3D representation [erowid.org] and counted the white thingies manually. ;) I'm such a hack, I have no skillz. I found that there were 15 white thingies and the chemical formula has a H15 so I figured those are hydrogen molecules. Haha! Anyway, also found out that the ASCII representation drew the carbon atoms correctly, with the nitrogen atom connection intact. I'm using atom and molecule interchangeably here, which again highlights my lack of chemistry knowledge. :) What is strange to me is the fact that they drew the hydrogen atom at the nitrogen bond but not anyplace else. Hmm...why is that? To save time or is it understandable enough already? Chemistry people out there, is the ASCII design (the one on the t-shirt) accurate enough or do I have to add H at every joint and ending? Anyway, I still think the ASCII one looks better (more subtle) than the 3D representation (link above). What do you all think?

Star BBQ Restaurant exterior.

I went to Star BBQ Restaurant at Westfield Shopping Town yesterday with Adrian and Christopher. It's a buffet BBQ where there's a variety of pre-marinated meats and seafood in addition to cooked foods like fried rice, honey chicken, peppered fish etc. It seems pretty popular coz the place was packed the whole time we were there.

Hot Food, BBQ Meats, Desserts etc.

Anyway, I can't remember what happened much but I ate more plates of food than I could count. I particularly liked the drunken chicken (yeah! had heaps of the drumstick bits) and the squid marinated (drowned?) in Thai sweet chili sauce.

Shanghai pancake/pie.

Other things that I remember having: some strange Shanghai pancake thingy that was filled with spring onions and a tiny bit of egg and cooked on the spot, honey chicken, fried rice, fried noodles, mussels, really large squid, variety of marinated meats and seafood, peppered fish, green tea/mango pudding, heaps of soft serve ice cream with nuts and caramel/choc sauce, sago pudding, jellies etc.

BBQ pit on every table.

and I just remembered that after I looked at the pictures, last night was pretty much a blur. ;) I felt so bloated after I finished that I was sure my stomach lining was going to give way anytime. I really reached full capacity last night. Heh.

The aftermath (some plates have been taken away).

It put me in a bit of a dilemma too. The food was salty and MSG laden and I was so full already so I couldn't drink more water. I was like:

drink more water?
noooo...stomach can't take any more volume
but msg, salt! me thirsty
hold...
wait for my go
can't...take...any...more...right...now

and so it goes. :)

Me (Huai Bin) and Adrian.

Me (Huai Bin) and Christopher.

I was holding onto my stomach the whole time coz I was sure it was going to burst at any time and I was helping to reduce the pressure. Haha! I look very sedated in the photos but I swear that my Xanax face [itsariot.com] is not due to a combination of Xanax + cannabis but because I was too full. ;) With hindsight, it was a bit torturing but it sure is giving me much needed energy for tonight's 36 hour run to finish my assignments and tutorial exercises. Good thing I don't have classes on Mondays. :)

I was born 22 years ago, so I guess that makes today my birthday. :) I'll probably just go out for a buffet BBQ and maybe a movie with a couple of my ex-classmates from Clayton. I had planned to head down to QBH later where some of my uni mates are, but that has been scrapped due to my unfinished assignments that's due next week.

Anyway, I've been thinking about resurrecting my 24/7 webcam now that I've found a fast way to tunnel through the uni's proxy, but that's still on the back of the to-do list of items. There's bandwidth issues to consider as well as the possibility of the webcam showing me doing something compromising, like smoking a bong or something. Haha! I'm kidding. That's it for now. Catch you all later.

The McDonald's Double Quarter Pounder burger is back. Half a pound of meat in a burger. I went to McDonald's with a couple of friends, ate that, and promptly threw up about an hour later. I would show you the vomit in the toilet bowl, but that would be pushing the boundaries of taste. :)

Image from Streets [streets.com.au].

This is the page with direct links to all the nine Magnum "The Sixties Nine" ice creams that I've eaten and reviewed. It's one of the highest search strings so I figured a page with direct links would be easier for those searching for the Magnums in "The Sixties Nine" series.

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #1 - Wood Choc [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #2 - Cherry Guevara [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #3 - Peace Man Go [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #4 - Candy Warhol [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #5 - Jami Hendrix [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #6 - Guava Lamp [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #7 - Cinnaman on the Moon [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #8 - John Lemon [sixthseal.com].

Magnum "The Sixties Nine" #9 - Choc Work Orange [sixthseal.com].

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors.

I had gotten another foil of heroin about a month ago and it's been sitting in my stash drawer ever since. I've been worried about this, being raided and found in possession of heroin is a different scenario than being raided and found in possession of cannabis. In the interest of limiting my legal liability, I've consumed it last night. ;)

Anyway, this heroin is chunkier and more voluminous than the previous one I got [sixthseal.com]. It's sourced from the same place (Springvale - no harm in mentioning the name, everyone knows it's a hotbed of street level heroin dealing anyway), although from a different dealer. This dealer was squatting with a friend when I approached him and asked if he had any smack.

Well, to tell you the truth, I was terrified at the nonchalance of this dealer. It was in broad daylight (afternoon) when this happened, and it was at a high traffic area. He said it's A$50 for a foil and he nudged his friend, who looked to the left and then to the right to spot for police activity and then PULLED OUT A HUGE BAG CONTAINING AT LEAST 200 FOILS.

To say I was appalled is an understatement. At this point, I was about to bolt at the utter indiscretion of the dealers. I was literally shaking in my boots (although I wasn't wearing boots) while this deal was happening. This was in broad daylight, at a high pedestrian traffic area, and in a place where undercover cops is known to be operating and yet this dealer just looked left and right and then grinned and handed me a foil.

Well, that's the last time I'm going to score on the street. Theoretically, the police would be going after them and not me, but still the risk is there. Anyway, I just held on to the foil in my hand so I could just drop it at the slightest provocation should I be apprehended. Luckily, nothing of that nature happened and I got back safely and it's been sitting in my drawer since then. I'm not a big fan of heroin, but I just wanted a second experiment.

Well, I crushed it up and insufflated (snorted) it last night. It's a common misconception that heroin can only be injected. Although that's the most efficient way to use it, I'm not interested in injecting anything due to the various issues surrounding that route of administration. [Edit: *cough* Er...yes, I have since decided I wanted experience with that, so I IV'ed methamphetamine after setting up a safety framework :p] The second most efficient route (smoking) is logistically challenging as well, since I don't own a glass pipe.

Thus, I just crushed everything up to a fine powder, racked it into a line and up it went. I snorted half into my left nostril and the other half into my right. I don't know if there's any difference in doing that, but I do know from experience that substances should be finely powdered and snorting should be hard enough to get it into your sinuses and yet not so hard that it goes into your lungs or down your throat (thus wasting it).

This is what I wrote:

burnt really bad going up
the drip was AWFUL
felt like bitterness x 10
chilly weather tonite
wearing little
windows open
yet...warmth :)
fuzzy warmth...
slowing down...
numbness
clothes is the fabric that shields your nudity from the world
heroin is the blanket that shields you from the world
that is all
blissfull
god...everything is perfect

Cliché, but that's what I felt. :) Effects were wearing off after 4 hours and I felt an unbearable and unstoppable wave of sleepiness, upon which I slept for a solid 14 hours. However, that could just be paying back my sleep debt from previous dexamphetamine runs. I felt it much better this time, it's very nice indeed, I'll even use the word 'wonderful' to describe the effects I felt this time. I won't be doing it again anytime soon though. It's a little too boring (no offense to people who enjoy opiates) and expensive for me. Also, I'm aware of the addiction potential, so thus ends my experiments with this substance, unless there is reason for me to continue.

I had a meeting today with my IE client and our project has finally been signed off. It's a culmination of a year's work and it was kinda sad for things to end, strange as it may sound. :)

Anyway, I saw that Bakers Delight @ Clayton is finally open to the public. I just got a hot cross bun, and it was pretty good. They were offering samples of bread on the counter too.

Well, I'm feeling strangely sleepy now, so I'll just be quick and tell you a funny conversation I heard while on the bus. Anyway, there was this group of Malaysian people sitting around me. I don't know them, but I overheard their conversation mentioning they're from KL. It's impossible not to when some of them were opposite me and some beside me.

Anyway, this guy (looks Malaysian as well) comes in at the bus loop at Monash University and sat beside the Malaysian girl opposite me. After a while, he struck up this conversation with the girl:

Guy: Are you Malaysian or Indonesian?
Girl: (looking disinterested) Malaysian.
(looks away again)
Guy: I figured you were. You had a typical Malaysian accent.
Girl: (looking annoyed) I'm Malaysian so of course I have a Malaysian accent.
(her friends around laughs)
Guy: Yeah, you have a very distinctive accent from which I can tell you're Malaysian.
Girl: (looking very annoyed) I'm proud to be Malaysian.
Guy: Hey, so am I.
(extends hand)
Girl: (considers for a moment then the auto-reflex kicks in) ...
(she didn't say anything in reply)
Guy: (insistent) So, where do you live?
Girl: Halls.
(looks away)
Guy: Which hall?
Girl: (looking at her friends for help) Ah...this is my stop.
(starts to make a show of gathering her plastic bags while avoiding eye contact with the guy)
Guy: (not to be dissuaded) What's all that for? Is that your daily shopping or what?
Girl: It's for a week. And some are for friends.
(looks away)
Guy: So what are you into? Alcohol? Drugs?
Girl: Nothing.
(gathers her shopping bags and gets up, the halls stop is there)

Heh. It was funny how that guy was going on like that. I figured he didn't start the conversation on the right foot, but he was also the annoying type and he couldn't afford to be that without scoring high in the looks department. But I reckon it's the "Malaysian accent" thing that did him in. I heard the girls bagging him while walking into the halls. I didn't know them though, they're from a different hall, but that conversation sure was funny. Heh.

I just got a package from Daniel [geocities.com]. Seeing as to how Singapore is one of the SARS affected countries [moh.gov.sg], I took appropriate safety measures before opening the envelope. Haha! Just kidding.

It's a Revolver Worldwide magazine. That's Jenna Jameson on the cover. I found the Nirvana article very interesting and I particularly enjoyed the stoner ads at the back. Heh. Thanks for the birthday gift buddy! :)

Sitting in my corner
I'm not smiling anymore
Search for answers
Staring at the wall

Fabulous Disaster - "Flesh And Bones"

Fabulous Disaster [fabulous-disaster.com]

F = G(m1 + m2)/r2

:(

I can't go back to sleep. Wanted to cook some breakfast but my drumsticks were trapped! It's been frozen into the freezer compartment of the community fridge. The thing with the fridge is, it doesn't close properly anymore because the magnetic strip along the door has lost its affinity for the ones along the frame of the fridge. Hah! I can still think this early in the morning. I'll be going to slops to grab something to eat later.

Link of the Day: Shirley's blog [geocities.com]

I forgot how I got here, was surfing around and stumbled upon this page. She mentions she's from Sarawak on the page and I clicked to the photos page and found the first picture familiar...looks like the YMCA camp (at least I think that's what it's called) back in Sibu, but then it could be any river. I then scrolled down a bit and saw the class photo. Uniforms are pretty generic so I couldn't be sure, but the two people at the back with the jerseys have the Methodist High School colors. And that's definitely the Methodist High School, Sibu administration office in the background. :) AFAIK there's not many Sibu bloggers out there, so it's a coincidence that I found another one.

Oh ya, I was doing some research for my essay and just for fun, did some Google searches:

[Edit: Deleted links. They were direct Google searches for variants of "dexamphetamine malaysia"]

Those search strings ranked sixthseal.com as #2. Okay, let's try the other name, dextroamphetamine. Dexamphetamine and dextroamphetamine is the same thing, both are d-amphetamine which has the dextro isomer as opposed to l-amphetamine which is the levo isomer. The speed you buy off the street is a racemic (meaning it has both +/- isomers) mixture or dl-amphetamine. For what it's worth, a piece on Erowid [erowid.org] says that the d-amphetamine (dexamphetamine) is more recreational than l-amphetamine.

Anyway, that's going off on a tangent. We'll now use dextroamphetamine instead of dexamphetamine in the search string:

[Edit: Deleted links. They were direct Google searches for variants of "dextroamphetamine malaysia"]

That pushes the site down to #3 on the returned hits.

Replacing dextroamphetamine with dextro-amphetamine returned only a single result, which is a mass news link site.

What is this long winded business about? It seems to suggest that dexamphetamine is not approved for use or prescribed in Malaysia. Just for fun I did some more searches and it's not on the Malaysia National Essential Drugs List (.pdf file) [pharmacy.gov.my]. More importantly, it's not on the Malaysia National Pharmaceutical Control Bureau (Biro Pengawalan Farmaseutikal Kebangsaan) [bpfk.gov.my] database of registered pharmaceuticals. Surprisingly, Ritalin (methylphenidate hydrochloride) is approved though. veritas, it's a good thing the doctor didn't check. Your story about being prescribed dexamphetamine in Malaysia [sixthseal.com] wouldn't have held up. Sing "Amazing Grace" or something. :)

Hmm...the lower right hand corner of my monitor seems to constantly flickering for some reason.

[Edit (7th April 2003): Deleted direct Google search links. The site was getting penalized for it.]

Haha! That's a good one. :) I shouldn't have told you so many details of my personal life. You made it so convincing, I'll give you credit for that! It's amazing that you can remember bits and pieces of my personal life during our conversations (some of them over a year ago!) and integrate it into the joke. Good thing you had the foresight to SMS me after posting it so I can do some damage control. :p Sorry to ruin your April Fool's Joke, but you're likely to give my parents a heart attack. As I've told you before, they already suspect I'm you.

To my parents and girlfriend: veritas's post below is an April Fool's joke. Don't worry, we're two completely separate entities.
To law enforcement officers, investigators or related persons(s): veritas's post below is an April Fool's joke. He's a guest author on this blog. I'm the owner of this domain and I do not possess any illegal substances.

Oh, I already saw a comment and you didn't manage to fool teddybwear [blogspot.com]. ;)

Disclaimer: This is an April Fool's Day Joke by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors.

I am actually Huai Bin. There is no guest author on sixthseal.com. There is no veritas. veritas is the pseudonym I use to distance myself from drug related postings. I'm surprised no one picked this up. The writing itself should have tipped you off. The writing style, formation of sentences, terminology, language quirks and favorite words should be a dead giveaway. :) It's hard to change one's writing, it's like a fingerprint. I've also made some mistakes that would give me away in the past, which I thankfully picked up and corrected before anyone could notice.

However, other than the language style (and what one my good friends refered to as photography style) I've done well to cover my tracks though. One example I particularly loved is the "veritas still in Malaysia while killuminati is already in Melbourne". I intentionally posted the pill report late because there was suspicion brewing. I also did little things like commenting on the veritas's posts comments box with my killuminati nick and then replying with the veritas one again so it seems like two people are actually having a conversation. Got tired of that after a while though, which is why I don't do that anymore. :)

There isn't even an email address veritas@sixthseal.com. All of that goes to a catch-all email address which is me@sixthseal.com, so I would be hesitant to reply you unless I don't know you personally and even then I'll have to caution you not to mention anything about it in the blog because:

1 My parents read my blog
2 My girlfriend reads my blog
3 Law enforcement officers may stumble upon it

Numbers 1 and 2 are against recreational experimentation with illegal substances and I don't want them to worry about me. I've tried educating them about the effects, risks and any dependency issues which can arise from the consumption of various drugs, but the government propaganda machine is sadly much stronger than me, despite my references to research papers and studies done by distinguished scientists and researchers of the field. I don't want them to have to worry about me, so veritas sprang into existence.

Number 3 is to protect myself against any raids from the police, although without the amphetamine induced paranoia, I think that's pretty unlikely. Wasting the money and manpower just to bust some uni student on possession charges isn't very likely, although I've heard horror stories about that happening. The risk factor is pretty low, the time, money and manpower involved in coordinating a raid just to find 2 grams of cannabis isn't a very likely scenario. Personally, I think the chances of that happening are pretty low because their resources would have been better spent on raiding drug dealers or underground chemists. However, being safe is always better than being sorry. :)

Anyway, it also distances me from being associated with recreational drug use, as the general public back home is being terribly misled by the government propaganda machine and associates all drug users with the "dirty junkie" stereotype. I don't want to have the social stigma of that hovering over me, because the uninformed public just look at you and treat you like you're some kind of scumbag. I find that even some friends have subtly changed their opinion about me after a disclosure. It's like recreational drug use is the overriding factor in evaluating my character, instead of more important things like honesty, integrity, loyalty and any other more important characteristics that you have.

Of course, the media doesn't help either with their misinformed and ill-researched articles, news items and shows. There are exceptions though, I've read some mainstream magazines with well researched and accurate articles about recreational drugs. Unfortunately, this is the exception to the rule. In the media business, their bottom line is to ultimately to draw in more viewers. What better way to do that than sensationalist reporting? Which headline do you think sounds better?

a) KILLER DRUG ECSTASY CLAIMS ANOTHER VICTIM IN A "RAVE" LATE LAST NITE!!!
or
b) Excessive consumption of water lead to a water poisoning death at a rave last night.

b) probably won't even make the news. Ecstasy doesn't kill people. Irresponsible drug use kills people. Not knowing contraindications kills people. If you're interested, there's plenty of links to the left where you can find out more about harm minimization and real facts about illegal or legal substances. I remember reading a funny article a couple of years ago in a Malaysian newspaper. This was a "Dear Abby" type advice column where someone writes in. Anyway, this guy wrote in and asked if taking Ecstasy is harmful to the body.

The reply: (paraphrased from memory) ARE YOU KIDDING??? Taking just one will hook you for life! It makes your head shake so hard uncontrollably you won't even be able to stop it and you'll feel like your neck is going to break off and it probably will.

I would laugh, but I was too angry at this irresponsible and misinformed reply. Oh, it's worthy to note that most "Ecstasy" pills (or feng tau yuen (literally: shake head pill) in the local dialect) here are mostly meth(amphetamine) or ketamine. The "amphetamines makes your head shake" myth stems from the local version of the Melbourne shuffle. The users congregate around speakers and does a repetitive horizontal movement (picture yourself while saying "no") with just their heads. I admit, doing that is fun while on amphetamines, repetitive movements just feels right and it gets you nicely dizzy and adds to the high. MDMA pills does exist but it's not that common, since the market is saturated with the cheaper (meth)amphetamine and ketamine pills.

And don't get me going about the government propaganda in Malaysia. They actually print absolute fucking bullshit as "facts". I don't know if it's getting better now, but with the government's "2003 War on Drugs" campaign, I don't think it would. Shock tactics like saying you'll die/go down an irreversible path to addiction/get brain damage the moment you try a drug does not work. In fact it's counterproductive. The first drug I took was LSD was at a rave, and I had an experienced group of friends with me and it was an amazing experience. I didn't get irreversible brain damage, I didn't go blind, I didn't go psycho, I didn't get addicted to it.

Instead, it opened my mind and at the risk of sounding clichéd, it gave me a new and improved perspective on everything. After the experience, I find myself being more open to new and unorthodox ideas and this "thinking out of the box" mindset has been with me ever since. :) This is contrary to the government propaganda I read, so like many other people, I thought "Hey, what they're saying isn't true...hell, probably all the things they say isn't. I'm going to try another drug now". This is bad because some of the things they say are true, and that deserves mention. I'm very much for a harm minimization approach which gives accurate information (including the positive effects as well as dangers) about drugs.

The government's approach to dealing with the "drug problem" is not going to change though, at least not in my lifetime. I have a friend who was forced to go into a stay-in "drug rehabilitation center" (read: prison) where you can't leave the premises and visits are for family members only. Guess what he was busted for? Nothing! There was no drugs at his house, he just failed a urine test. He smoked cannabis a couple of days ago, and that's the sentence he got. Can you imagine that? Just for detecting cannabis use in his urine test...he was a minor at that time (17) so he was forced to go to rehab. It's for his own good you see. He's an evil marijuana addict. Hey, I typed that without laughing too hard.

I'm sure everyone has heard of the drug laws of Malaysia [pemadam.org.my]. If you don't read Bahasa Malaysia, here's a short summary about the interesting bits (emphasis mine):

Section 10 Sentence for possessing drug paraphernalia like a bong (without drugs, just the equipment):
Jail sentence up to 5 years AND a fine of up to RM20,000 (A$10,000)

Note to self: Do not bring bong back

Section 39(A)(1) Possession of 20 grams or more of cannabis (marijuana):
Jail sentence not less than 2 years but not more than 5 years AND a MANDATORY caning between six to nine times.

You'll fear the caning if you've seen it done before...

Section 15(B) Being in the same premises where drug use is taking place (just being in the same place, it doesn't matter whether you've taken drugs):
Jail sentence not less than 2 years or a fine of not more than RM5,000 (A$2,500)

Ridiculous...

Section 15(A) Ingesting a scheduled drug (positive urine test):
Jail sentence not less than 2 years or a fine of not more than RM5,000 (A$2,500)

Very, very puzzling. I'm seriously mystified by this. Possessing a bong gets a higher sentence than ingesting a drug? Who made up these laws?

I've got a question for any Malaysian lawyers reading this. Do I get to choose or is it the courts decision? How nice it'll be if I can just consume whatever and pay RM5,000 (A$2,500) for a "Get out of Jail Free" card.

Anyway, despite my differing views regarding Malaysia's (and just about every country's) drug laws, I still love my country. Home is where the heart is, even though the draconian drug laws make me paranoid every time I take any illegal substances back home. Oh well, at least Xanax and other pharmaceuticals are OTC if you go to the right pharmacists. ;)

Oh, and look at the date. 1st of April. April Fool's Day.

My parents sent me an early birthday card. I was amazed by the amount of stamps they used. It covered half of the right hand side of the large envelope. I counted 12 stamps in total. Thanks mom and dad! :)