March 2003 Archives

I don't think my new neighbors is aware that this is a feminine hygiene product disposal bin. Two new people moved in this semester, one of my previous neighbors has graduated while the other moved to Oakleigh in protest of the recent raise of the halls rent. The Pink Healthcare Services bin has never doubled as a rubbish bin last semester or the previous one, so I think either one or perhaps both of my new neighbors is making the poor bin do double duty.

As you can see from the photo, it has been stuffed with miscellaneous things like toilet paper wrappers, toilet papers, an ice cream wrapper (?) and a plastic soap dish (!). The auto closing mechanism of the bin has thus been blocked by the debris, and so it has remained for several days. The cleaners should put up a sign clearly labeling the original purpose of the bin to prevent such occurrences in the future. Heh. :)

Edit: My apologies about all the disclaimers floating about. I'm feeling a bit paranoid about getting raided, seeing as to how my address is visible to anyone who does a whois query. Not that I have anything to hide of course, nor am I in possession of any illegal substances. Just felt like putting up the disclaimers.

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors.

I've dumped a total of 45 x 5 mg dexamphetamine tablets over the course of the night. I mean, fucking hell! That justifies a bit of profanity...45 tablets is nearly half of my script! Gone, either digested or absorbed through my sinuses. That's unacceptable! 225 mgs over a 10 hour period...half of my script consumed in a night. :( Jesus wept. Forgive the blasphemy (on the day of the Lord somemore) but I'm not due to refill my script until 23 more days and half of it is already gone! I did feel a very good rush during my initial dose of 80 mgs orally and 20 mg insufflated, but after that it was just maintenance doses to keep me awake. I'm planning to stay up until late tonight.

I would weep for the amount of dexamphetamine that was wasted, but there's no use crying over spilt milk (or consumed dexies for that matter). It's just an issue of tolerance and that's unavoidable, but I was wondering if there's any way to maximize the efficiency of the dexamphetamine tablets. I still need more to be able to stay up until late tonight. I did a bit of research for amphetamine potentiators (things that causes a synergetic effect and makes the drug stronger or last longer), but didn't find anything noteworthy until I chanced upon this tidbit of information on [rxlist.com]:

Alkalinizing Agents

Gastrointestinal alkalinizing agents (sodium bicarbonate, etc.) increase absorption of amphetamines. Urinary alkalinizing agents (acetazolamide, some thiazides) increase the concentration of the non-ionized species of the amphetamine molecule, thereby decreasing urinary excretion. Both groups by agents increase blood levels and therefore potentiate the action of amphetamines.

Increase absorption of amphetamines! Potentiate the action of amphetamines! Those are magic words...music to my ears! =D Praise the Lord! Sodium bicarbonate...that's baking powder! I did some more reading and found out that taking dexamphetamine an hour or so after alkalinizing your GI tract will increase the effects. Why wasn't I aware of this earlier?!?! Curse you (I mean me), for not doing your research.

Today is a Sunday and I couldn't be bothered going far to buy some baking soda so I went to the local café instead. This was how the conversation went:

Me: Hello, this is going to sound like a strange request, but can I buy some baking powder off you? I have really bad gastric...
Girl at the counter: Baking powder? Okay, let me get some.
(takes a plastic cup and goes into a kitchen)
1 minute later...
(the cook comes out holding the cup with the girl at the counter)
Cook: Hello, are you the one with the stomach problem?
Me: Yeah, I need some baking powder for my gastric. Can I buy some off you?
Cook: I can give you some, but it's not going to help your stomach.
Me: It has always worked before, it neutralizes the acids in my stomach.
Cook: Okay, give me a second
(goes back into the kitchen)
30 seconds later...
Cook: Here you go. No charge.
(hands me the cup full of baking powder)
Me: No, let me pay you for it.
Cook: Don't worry about it, I'll give it to you.
Me: Okay, thanks!

I felt bad about getting the baking soda for free, so I bought a pear (which I read was also an alkaline food) for 70 cents. Yes, I've done a lot of reading and contrary to popular belief, fruits are alkaline while milk is acidic! Apparently, there's a difference between the chemical properties (we all learnt in chemistry that fruits are acidic using the PH testing strips) while nutrition wise, it's alkaline! Milk, which one would assume is an alkaline is in fact acidic in nutrition (after your body processes it). Well, you learn something new everyday.

My stomach has been very acidic the whole night, I could feel it and I was about to puke my stomach acids out, so I wasn't really being untruthful about my gastric. No wonder the pills didn't work so well. Here's another related tidbit from the wonderful rxlist.com entry on dextroamphetamine:

Acidifying Agents

Gastrointestinal acidifying agents (guanethidine, reserpine, glutamic acid HCl, ascorbic acid, fruit juices, etc.) lower absorption of amphetamines, Urinary acidifying agents (ammonium chloride, sodium acid phosphate, etc.) increase the concentration of the ionized species of the amphetamine molecule, thereby increasing urinary excretion. Both groups of agents lower blood levels and efficacy of amphetamines.

No wonder! I wasn't getting the full potential of the precious little pills due to my acidic stomach. Lower absorption of amphetamines! Lower blood levels and efficacy of amphetamines! Heresy! Such dirty, disgusting, filthy, revolting, repulsive, sickening, horribly blasphemous words! Get thee behind me Satan! No acidic foods for me today! *makes a sign to ward off evil*

Anyway, the cook gave me a lot of baking soda even though I only asked for two teaspoons. I dissolved 4 heaped teaspoons of baking soda (or sodium bicarbonate if you want to be technical about it) into a mug of water and drank it. 1 hour later, I dropped 6 pills and by God, I was peaking again! That was 30 minutes ago, and I'm still feeling great now! It wasn't as good as the first dose, naturally, but I did feel rushes this time. I don't know how much is placebo and how much is actual pharmacology but if rxlist.com says it's true, that's good enough for me. :)

Just passing the information on...amphetamines can not only be potentiated, but the effects prolonged by a simple kitchen item! Good old baking soda! Amazing...you really do learn something new everyday. How I wish I knew about this sooner. I'm going to change the PH levels of my GI tract to lean towards the alkaline side every time I take dexamphetamines! More value, more effects, more more more! I love you rxlist.com! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! He works in mysterious ways indeed! :)

Disclaimer: This post is not intended to be taken seriously. It's a brainstorming session about fictitious events which is meant for a manga (graphic novel) plot. It's not to be interpreted as an intension to commit any illegal activity.

Edit: The Manga's first draft is here [sixthseal.com]!

Daylight saving time is ending!

Woo hoo, we gain an hour today, fellow Victorians! :) Set your clocks back to 2 am at 3 am.

More about the THE KOLLECTIVE: Me and my bunch of friends used to kid around like this, bouncing ideas off each other about what company we'll start and who'll be in it. :) I suddenly felt like doing that again after reading the "starting up Burger King" comments (link below). Thus, I posted this:

Link of the Day: Do you want to rule the world with an iron fist? JOIN US AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! We need YOU! [sixthseal.com]

on the previous post. :)

I did a bit of Photoshop work during a break while working on my assignment. I am aware of the distinct lack of designing skills on my part. =D This is our logo. Yes, that's my eye and I apologize about the slightly bloodshot condition and the unsightly details. ;) I used macro mode to take a photo of my right eye and I surprised myself with the clarity and sharpness of the detail. The pupils were even reflecting the digicam and monitor! I was inspired to do it by fuzzy's [absolutely-fuzzy.com] logo creations for her design project. :)

Anyway, the eye idea is from the Illuminati "all seeing eye" on top of a pyramid design. It strikes fear into the hearts of our adversaries and sends a general message out that WE ARE WATCHING YOU! The red colors of THE KOLLECTIVE font symbolizes bravery, if I remember my "color symbols of the Malaysian flag" lessons in high school right. The bold uppercase font is meant to convey strength and send a "resistance is futile" message. The "Leading the wild into the ways of the man..." is a pet axiom of mine paraphrased from the bible. The phrase is meant to convey our resolution in taking over the world.

THE KOLLECTIVE: It's going to be a large company with lots of divisions specializing in different things. That's our official front, anyway. The main income will be acquired by drug manufacture, distribution and retailing. The company will not be involved in the sex industry even though it's lucrative because I think that it's seedy and dirty. Unlike many others, personally I think recreational drug use is much more acceptable that being involved in the sex industry. Firearms dealing could be in our future expansion plans though. There is no leader in our organization, decisions are made by majority voting. Our goal is to aggressively take over companies one by one either through buying them out with our war chest or using strong arm tactics. Our final aim is to take over the world and rule the world with our collective iron fists! *loud, prolonged and slightly insane evil laughter*

Why the emphasis on drugs? Drugs = quick and fast cash flow. ;)

Current members:

Huai Bin aka killuminati

Official job description: Computer science consultant
Off the record: Synthesis of recreational compounds to finance our operation. First, simple pseudoephedrine -> methamphetamine and as expertise grows, safrole -> mdma. we'll pool our money to rent a small warehouse in a remote area of Sibu, buy a pill press, get the precursor chems and make pills with 'K' (for 'K'ollective, you can't fit "THE KOLLECTIVE" on a pill!) imprinted with the "all seeing eye" design on them. good, quality pills and we'll undercut the competition by selling them slightly above cost! Not only that, I'll also synthesize exotic chemicals from PiHKAL and TiHKAL by the much respected Dr. Alexander Shulgin [cognitiveliberty.org] and press them into pills which are labeled properly, including dosage guides. I'll tap the niche market yet!

Frank aka frank_omatic

Official job description: Legal representative
Off the record: Sue everyone to supplement our income. get us out of trouble should our lab be discovered. europe representative to distribute our pills. we'll make huge ass pills with 200 mg of mdma and push the amsterdam competition out of business! From the previous comments (his words): As for all our money, i will put them in it some off shore bank in South America. Don't worry i will take care of the legal document. We will open a investment company and a charity organisation to "wash" our black money.

Daniel aka DieHardX

Official job description: Architecture consultant
Off the record: Sabotage other company's architecture, make buildings fall down and all that. singapore representative to distribute our pills. pills will be smuggled in as 'architecture components'. use your philosophy ideas to think about unorthodox ways to increase our grip on the world!

Adrian aka IQ0

Official job description: Chemical Engineer
Off the record: Applying his engineering background to make pill presses and other machinery required for making drugs. His reverse osmosis knowledge would be useful to produce clean pyrogen (sp?) free water for our drug manufacturing.

Christopher aka Ah Siang

Official job description: Human Resource Director
Off the record: He'll be in charge of recruiting people for our strong arm division. The strong arm division is not part of THE KOLLECTIVE and has no voting rights. Recruitment can be from militias, soldiers of fortunes, gangsters, ah bengs, it doesn't matter. We pay them well and we overwhelm by numbers. Our army would be equipped with .45 millimeter side arms for normal enforcement, confrontation, harassment and intimidation campaigns. We'll also have to buy AK47s from a corrupt country who's willing to sell automatic weapons for cash in the near future. That would be necessary for gang warfare with established cartels when we graduate into the big leagues. Our organization's resignation policy for our strong arm division is very simple and promotes loyalty. Feel free to leave anytime. However, if any disclosure of the organization's activities is made, we'll give you a very nice "severance package", which will ah..."set you up for life", so to speak. ;)

Wen Jia aka teddybwear

Official job description: Horticulturist
Off the record: She has offered to cultivate our cannabis, opium, coca and all other plants with recreational potential. That's good, coz shifting this responsibility to her gives my mom the ability to concentrate on our underground pipe distribution network! Heh. :) She's particularly interested in cultivating new strains of cannabis, which is good. We'll corner the cannabis market yet, with the help of teddybwear, we'll create a new ultra high THC content strain for the connoisseur market. She'll also be cultivating normal indica and sativa strains to sell to the commercial market. Our product will be cured properly, no shortcuts guaranteed! Our organization is committed to ensuring that the cannabis is dry before weighting it for sale too. Unlike our competitors, you're guaranteed to get your money's worth for the weight! We're not going to spray the cannabis with water to artificially increase the weight or anything like that. And that's THE KOLLECTIVE guarantee! :)

Other people I'll like in THE KOLLECTIVE:

My dad aka Khemistry

Official job description: Administration
Off the record: Graduated with first class honors in chemistry. Arm him with Rhodium [rhodium.ws] and the equipment and the precursor chemicals and we'll make a good father and son manufacturing team. ;) However, I have a feeling he wants no part in this operation. He's a devout Christian and is sure to disapprove of our methods for producing quick cash flow. Hah! :)

My mom aka Magma

Official job description: Earth Science Director
Off the record: Has a degree in earth sciences (geography) so she'll be in charge of analyzing rock structures and all that so that we can achieve our final aim: a worldwide underground tunnel system to bypass the traditional air/land/sea smuggling routes and have our own undetectable routes to distribute our goods. She's also very interested in plants so she can be our official horticulturist and cultivate cannabis plants, poppies, coca plants etc. Again, I don't think she wants to be a part of this too. Heh. :)

My sister aka Doc

Official job description: Medical professional
Off the record: Final year med student. She'll be responsible for providing discreet medical care for the members of THE KOLLECTIVE. The nature of our fund raising will inevitably lead to conflict with other similar organizations and she'll provide assistance for gunshot wounds and other occupational hazards related to the business. Like my mom and dad, she'll be against our less than legal approach to achieve intensive positive cash flow, so information should be supplied to her on a "need to know" basis only. ;)

Michelle aka Ga|adriel

Official job description: Pharmaceuticals Director
Off the record: I'll need her pharmacy background for drug synthesis. She'll also be the director of our pharmaceuticals department so she's also in charge of getting the precursor chemicals for the synthesis. Since she's a pharmacist, she can also prescribe us with much needed benzos as running THE KOLLECTIVE is going to be a very stressful and anxiety-inducing job. ;) She would also be the source for 'diverted pharmaceuticals' like benzos, (meth)amphetamines, morphine, oxycodone, fentanyl and other legitimately prescribed drugs with recreational potential which we can sell for additional income.

Anna aka bear_bear

Official job description: Public Relations
Off the record: Nothing off the record. She's qualified to be our public relations person since she did that for her degree. Her job would be to convince the world that we're a legitimate organization and divert attention away from our illegal shenanigans and emphasize our legitimate achievements. She'll also be in charge of making periodic donations to charity to build up our image as an organization who cares for the community.

Karen aka mInjuEnz

Official job description: Accountant
Off the record: My girlfriend is qualified to hold this position but I don't want her involved in any illegal schemes so mInjuEnz will be in charge of our financial bookkeeping instead. Heh. She's doing actuarial studies which is close enough to handle the finance side of the business. She would also provide risk analysis for not only our organization's legitimate expansion but our drug cartel control and expansion. She's also in charge of doing some creative accounting to conceal our money laundering.

Ung Hing aka Zion

Official job description: Aeronautical engineer
Off the record: He's doing aeronautical engineering so he's going to do maintenance and possibly upgrade our currently non-existent fleet of planes that's carrying our precious chemical cargo while the pipe network is awaiting completion. Who's going to fly the planes? Everyone takes turns. :) Okay, let's all take flying lessons this Easter break.

Diana aka ying

Official job description: Medical professional
Off the record: She's also studying medicine and we need more than one doctor.

Datina aka LoLI_PoP

Official job description: Legal representative
Off the record: We'll need more than one lawyer too, since things can get bad very fast if our illegal activities happens to be exposed. Otherwise, she'll be working with frank to file frivolous lawsuits against other companies for additional income

Justina aka Jus

Official job description: Medical professional
Off the record: You can't have too many doctors. Or lawyers for that matter. :)

Okay, I'm going to stop here. I can't believe I wasted an hour writing this! Oh well, at least technically I didn't lose an hour coz today's the end of daylight saving time. Haha! Writing nonsense is fun though, I like doing that, which was why I started a blog in the first place.

I have too much time on my hands.

No, wait...I don't! My assignment awaits!

Add your name and any expertise or experience you have to the comments if you want to join THE KOLLECTIVE. Join us now and rule the world, or be ruled by our collective iron fists when we take over the world and our reign is absolute and irrevocable! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I haven't been to this place before. I went with a couple of my high school buddies for dinner. It's called The Makan Place and is located at the corner of Princes Highway and Clayton Road. It serves authentic Singapore Malay food. It's a relatively new place, and it's very clean and neat.

I had nasi campur, which came out fast, but if you order off the menu it's going to take a long time. I think there's only one cook, I went to the toilet and passed by the kitchen and saw only one person manning the stove. One of my friends ordered off the menu and it took damn near 40 minutes for it to arrive. The turnaround rate might be due to the fact that the place was full when we got there though.

I like the place, it's very clean. It feels like eating food back in Malaysia too. :)

I apologize that today's post is so short. I had planned to spend tonight catching up with my tutorial exercises and assignments so I can be free during Easter break to do stuff. Planning to visit a couple of places since it's my last semester here. I just had a brainstorm about my GSC2714 Alcohol and Drug Use assignment. I'm going to do the essay topic on:

Present a reasoned argument for the legalization or decriminalization of heroin, marijuana or ecstasy. Keep focused on the psychological rather than social and legal consequences and implications.

I was planning to write about cannabis, but I just had this great idea for Ecstasy (MDMA) so I'm going to put that into words before I forget about it. Right! Write!

Link of the Day: Do you want to rule the world with an iron fist? JOIN US AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! We need YOU! [sixthseal.com]

I went to campus early today to print out my stuff and hand it in. I saw this new shop in Clayton, which was previously occupied by a store selling fruit that closed down recently. Now, it's a spiffy new bakery called Baker's Delight. It's still not open yet, as you can see. There are cleaners and other people inside setting things up. I didn't even see the bakery a couple of days ago so all this must have happened in the last couple of days. Now there are three bakeries within 50 meters of each other. Heh.

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors.

Today's haul: Stimulants and tranquilizers in a single day. Hmm...both of them are white tablets, I hope I don't mix them up when I put them back. Taking dexamphetamine when you're expecting a benzodiazepine or vice versa would be unfortunate indeed.

I had a successful run today. :) I got 100 x 2 mg Paxam (clonazepam) and 100 x 5 mg dexamphetamine tablets. The first visit was to the Benzo Messiah [sixthseal.com], where I claimed that the "pills didn't feel right and I found out that I was actually taking 2 mg ones instead of 0.5 mg ones". Guess what the doctor said? He just said okay, and took out his script pad! Amazing. You know what's even more amazing? He said:

"So what was it you were taking again? Xanax?"

My mind went into overdrive. Here's what my thought process was:

Xanax!
100 x 2 mg of Xanax!
200 mg of Xanax! Say Yes, for Christ's sake, say Yes!
But wait...I need Klonopin to sleep after a dexamphetamine run...clonazepam makes me sleep but alprazolam doesn't.
Stupid! Xanax is much more euphoric! Say YES!
Yeah, it's more euphoric, but it doesn't make me sleepy. How will I manage amphetamine comedowns?
It's Xanax! The doctor is offering to script you 100 x 2 mg Xanax bars! Have you finally tweaked yourself stupid???
But 200 mg of Xanax...I'm not sure I'm responsible enough to handle that. Xanax withdrawal is hell.
Who cares? Euphoria buddy, fucking euphoria...couple of beers, couple of Xanax bars, couple of bowls of weed...think man, think about the fun times!
Hmm...
Say Yes
Hmm...

(all this happened in milliseconds)

"Nah, it was clonazepam", I said

:)

100 x 2 mg clonazepam tablets (Paxam)

It's true that Xanax (alprazolam) is much more euphoric than Klonopin (clonazepam) but I've learnt to respect Xanax after taking up to 5 mg daily with alcohol during my last holiday. Benzodiazepine withdrawals are bad, especially with Xanax since it has such a short half life. Just one month of daily use fucked me up for days when I stopped. I can't even imagine how bad it is for people who've used it at higher doses and longer periods of times. I have a good friend who's on it for years (legitimate prescription for anxiety and panic attacks) and I can't even imagine how bad the withdrawal would be for her when she wants to taper off.

Well, those of you who've taken benzos regularly at high doses for prolonged periods and then stop suddenly know what I'm taking about. It's hard to explain benzo withdrawals to the uninitiated. There's the ultra-heightened anxiety and recurring obsessive thoughts and panic attacks. There's also the possibility of seizures if you've been on it long enough, but that usually take months or years of heavy use. It's a wonder that a legitimate pharmaceutical drug produces worse physical and psychological withdrawals than most illegal drugs. I don't trust myself with 200 mg of Xanax, so that's why I told the truth and said it was clonazepam. :)

The 2 mg clonazepam tablets are white, with "CN2" imprinted on the front, and a dual score at the back

"Okay", went the good doctor and scripted me and I was out within 2 minutes. 200 mg of clonazepam can cause a lot of trouble too, but I'm not going to take it daily, my new policy is for it to be a weekend thing when drinking or for comedowns only.

All hail the Benzo Messiah!

The next trip was to Doctor Dexamphetamine. Very hassle free as well. I haven't told you the story behind this, so I'll give you an abbreviated version now about what happened last time. Basically, I just went in and claimed I have been on Dexedrine (a brand name of dexamphetamine) since I was 19. I didn't say dexamphetamine because I wanted to avoid using the word 'amphetamine'. :)

If you're wondering what dexamphetamine is and why it's so good, it's because it's speed. Legally prescribed speed. :) This is the same thing you get off the streets in the form of powder and pills (like some of the feng tau yuen pills that makes you unable to sleep, though that can contain either methamphetamine or amphetamine) and it's pure and clean because it's made by a pharmaceutical company instead of a dodgy chemist. ;)

Made very locally by Sigma Pharmaceuticals at 1408, Center Road, Clayton (!) I've seen their production facility before too. Won't I love to go on a tour of their labs.

Anyway, I'm digressing, this is what I told the doctor the first time I went there:

I said I was diagnosed with narcolepsy (it's a condition where you suddenly fall asleep, occasional temporary paralysis etc) and excessive daytime sleepiness and I was prescribed dexamphetamine to manage that. I told him I usually get my script filled in Malaysia and bring enough for the whole semester, but unfortunately customs confisticated my stash because I didn't have an Australian doctor's prescription.

The doctor considered my story and then decided I was telling the truth. :) It really helped that I looked half asleep that day. I didn't get much sleep the night before in anticipation for that. I told him that I thought I could do without it, but it's really affecting my studies and I've been sleeping 14 hour days and falling asleep in lectures etc. He asked me what my symptoms were, which of course I knew because I've been reading up on narcolepsy. I never forget the mantra: Always do your research! ;) He scripted me 100 x 5 mg dexamphetamine tablets and off I went.

That was about a month ago. I went back again today and the doctor just wrote me a script without any hassles, though he did a bit of calculation in his head to see if I was due for the script. :) He went, "Yeah it's been 25 days". I tentatively asked if it was wise to increase the dosage, which was a mistake, because I was hit with a barrage of questions after that. :)

He asked me a lot of questions about why I wanted do that. I said I was still feeling sleepy at times and he re-asked me my symptoms on narcolepsy which I thankfully managed to answer despite being partially memory-incapacitated from my heavy benzo use these couple of days. Anyway, he didn't get suspicious, thank God for that! You hear me God? Thanks for that, I owe you one buddy! :)

How I wish both bottles were full instead of just one

Anyway, he wrote me a script and asked me how much it costs. It's A$30.35 for 100 tablets and the doctor said it's expensive and asked me how much it cost in Malaysia. I was caught by surprise by the unexpected question, and made up a figure. Sheesh, I should be more prepared next time. Well, after thanking the doctor profusely (I think I thanked him a little too profusely) I made my way to the pharmacy to get my dex script filled.

Tell you a funny thing that happened there. I got my script filled by the pharmacist and went to the counter to pay for it. The girl at the counter, who's about my age, took one look at the bottle and gave me a grin and asked me what it's for. I said it's for my narcolepsy. She went "Oh, that's terrible" and gave me a huge grin. I think she somehow knew I was a scripter. Instinct from a fellow scripter?

She asked me some questions about my 'condition' and made small talk and was really friendly, all the time looking at the bottle lovingly. After I paid, she gave me a knowing wink and said "Have a nice day". I didn't wink back because this is after all a pharmacy and even though the cashier isn't the pharmacist and is just working there, being indiscreet might jeopardize my scripting activities. I just smiled and said "You have a nice day too". She knew what was going on though. For some reason, she just knew. Heh. :)

Well there I go again with my verbal diarrhea. You know I'm tweaking when I go on like that. :) It's like dexamphetamine is my muse and I use it to complete assignments and work too. I think some form of psychological dependence is happening here. I'll be careful though, so don't worry about me. :)

Link of the Day: Iraq's WMD: How Big a Threat? [time.com]

Excerpt:
He added that Iraq's exotic weapons programs also involved the use of psycho-tropic agents similar to LSD. "They were not meant to kill, just incapacitate, confuse," says the inspector.

Book me a plane ticket to Iraq straight away! ;)

I'm really busy with the hurdle requirements for one of my assignments which is due tomorrow, so here's a photo from my collection to entertain you. I took it a couple of weeks ago, and it's a Hungry Jack (a Burger King franchise) inside a Shell station. How convenient. I've never seen a fast food outlet inside a gas station before. Convenience store, yes. Fast food outlet, no. :)

I enjoyed my tutorial today. Where else can you surf websites as tutorial exercises? Heh. It's a first year subject I took because I'm still eligible to take those since I took mostly 3rd year subjects in my second and third year. :) There's an assignment due in 2 weeks but that's an easy one...could probably finish it in one night. This is a 9 am class, but it's not that bad, coz it's held in Clayton. I live at the halls of residence in Clayton so it's just a couple of minutes walk. I'm glad I took two Clayton subjects this semester. The other two are Caulfield ones so the commute takes much longer. My faculty is based in Caulfield though.

Well, Easter break is coming along soon and that's a one week holiday for us. I've seen a lot of chocolate Easter eggs of all shapes and sizes, including huge ass 1 kg ones. However, I've never seen these before. Cadbury's Hot Cross Marshmallow Buns! I also picked up some liquorish. I love that stuff, though not many people do because it's one of those things you either love or hate.

Anyway, I finally deleted my domain from the previous host coz it was causing problems within the Monash network. I live at halls so that affects me. I won't go into the technical details but the way the DNS server at halls assigns serial numbers makes it think my old host is the newest entry instead of my new host. It's been 6 days so my new name server has probably propagated to even Afghanistan so deleting the old one shouldn't be a problem.

Well, migrating Movable Type to the new host was not as easy as I thought. The database dump managed to load, but logging in gave me an error. I tried dropping the mt_permissions table and it worked, but then I lost my user name association with my blog. I tried running some SQL statements, but nothing worked, so I had to import it using Movable Type's import system. What this means is that the pages are renumbered so all the internal links are messed up. I'll fix that this weekend.

Hmm...should I eat Indomie tonight or Yum Yum? I used to eat a lot of this stuff back when I was studying in Christchurch, NZ. I only like the duck flavored ones, it's really good and quite spicy so if you see it around, give it a try. I only saw this in Melbourne a couple of weeks ago and was happy to find it. Ah...nostalgia. :)

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors.

Mosaic on doctor's handwriting, script number and other possible identifiers

I got a Xanax (alprazolam) script off my regular doctor (the Benzo Nazi) last Friday. You probably have to read this [sixthseal.com] to understand the background. I had wanted to visit the Benzo Messiah and get 100 x 2 mg Klonopin (clonazepam) tablets by claiming that it wasn't working, so I called back to my doctor back home and realized it was 2 mg pills after all. I made two appointments but the Benzo Messiah was not in both times coz he was sick. I have made another appointment for this Friday, and I'll probably visit Doctor Dexamphetamine [sixthseal.com] on the same day, so wish me luck! :)

Pharmacia Xanax 250 microgram 50 tablets - Made in Belgium

Anyway, I was kinda worried when I visited Benzo Nazi. My pupils were absolutely huge from my dexamphetamine run, and I tried to avoid eye contract to give myself away, but I think the doctor didn't pick it up anyway. Anyway, I just told him the Aropax (also known as Paxil, contains paroxetine) wasn't working and I went to another doctor and he scripted me 0.25 mg of Xanax twice a day and it helped a lot. This of course was not true, and I do feel bad about being untruthful. It may surprise a lot of you, but being untruthful makes feel me guilty and I don't do it unless I'm doctor shopping for scripts.

The front of the blister pack
Pill front: Upjohn 29
Pill back: Single score, beveled edges

I told him that the other (fictional) doctor gave me only a two week supply and I changed my story by telling him I'm aware that it's addictive, but it really helps me with my anxiety. Of course, I didn't visit another doctor, I just wanted to try an alternative angle to see if he would prescribe me Xanax. Well, long story short, he did. :) He actually wanted to script me Valium but I told him that makes me too sleepy and I needed to concentrate in class and he went "Oh, yeah, that's true". :)

The back of the blister pack
Xanax
alprazolam
tablets 250 ug
PHARMACIA

He scripted me 50 x 0.25 mg Xanax tablets on the condition that I make an appointment with a clinical psychiatrist to evaluate me. The Xanax is only enough for 5 recreational doses if I combine it with alcohol or 2.5 recreational doses if I don't. I usually take 2.5 mg + alcohol or 5 mg by itself. The script isn't much, but I didn't want to blow it by saying I was scripted 0.5 mg or 1 mg pills by the fictional other doctor because standard prescribing procedure is 0.25 mg at first. I don't think it's worth the A$15.05 I paid for it, but at least the consultation is free.

Update: My math is so screwed up. It's actually cheaper than the prices back home so it is worth it. Very much so. :)

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors.

I wasn't feeling too good due to my binge on dexamphetamine. How is that possible when I've nearly finished my stash a couple of days ago, you ask? Well, I have acquired some more from...ah, the 'diverted pharmaceuticals' market you if you get what I mean. ;) I'll be refilling my legitimate script this Friday anyway, so more is coming in, no worries. I am concerned that I like this stuff a little too much though, so I'm going to reflect very hard on that.

My concern is due to the way I binge on these tiny white pills for days, forgoing sleep and food. I guess some personalities naturally have an affinity to stimulants, making it hard control consumption. Some serious reflection is needed indeed to manage my usage. I know binging is usual behavior for speed freaks but I'll like to keep my usage experimental and recreational instead of becoming dependant on the stuff. By the end of the run, I was getting paranoid an slightly delusional. I'm seeing a greenish tint on my hands too whenever I look at them and visual distortions everywhere.

I actually had 100 mg of Valium (diazepam) and stayed awake after my speed binge. That kind of tolerance is not unheard of, but it's unacceptable to me, so I'm going to watch my benzo usage as well. I don't feel guilty about smoking cannabis daily though, due to its comparatively benign nature. I think at some point you have to give yourself a critical appraisal and evaluate whether you're still a recreational drug user or becoming dependant on them, regardless of whether it's pharmaceuticals or prohibited ones.

This is the Great Australian Tastes edition of Smith's Potato Crisps. The first one is Heinz Big Red Tomato Sauce & Meat Pie and the second one is Ham and Keen's Mustard. I liked the Heinz tomato sauce on meat pie one. It really tastes like a meat pie with tomato sauce on it! The artificial flavoring industry has progressed very far indeed. :) I didn't think much of the ham and mustard one though. Too salty. I don't even like crisps but I thought the two would look nice together. Anyway, I have an early 9 am class tomorrow so I should be sleeping soon. See you all tomorrow. :)

I passed by the campus center cafe while on the way back from my tutorial. I was alone at that time. I decided to take away a rice box for dinner, so I ordered one. I proceeded to the cashier and put my right hand into my right pocked to get my wallet out. It wasn't there. I checked my other pocket, and it wasn't there too. I had forgotten to bring my wallet out.

*cough*

"Er...I seem to have left my wallet at home"

That's what I said to the cashier.

How embarrassing. :)

I'm going to sleep after I eat this. I don't know if it's still edible but I'm going to eat it anyway coz I haven't had anything for the whole day. :) I bought this rice box ONE WEEK ago and forgot about it. I left it in the fridge though, so I guess it's still edible. I think. Gonna microwave it now and see. Heh.

Do tell me if you happen to see any dead links or missing pictures on the site. Thanks! :)

Finally!

Edit: Now I'm too sleepy to make any posts, so browse the old blog if you want. If you've noticed, I've already moved my old blog which was plain HTML to a Movable Type import format so everything is integrated into this site now. Look at the Archives on the left for monthly entries since April 2002. Thanks for all your patience during the move everyone! :)

Behold, I say! :) This is the new Roberts Hall dog tag. It's used to open doors in public access areas like the kitchen, common room etc. I received a memo advising me that there's only one day for Roberts Hall residents to change their dog tags, and that is today. Good thing I set an alarm in my Palm to remind me, or I would have totally forgotten about it. It looks similar to the old one, except the new one has grooves reading RoY instead of RoR.

This is the last post I make before I change the name servers. It can take 24 - 48 hours till the DNS propagates to everyone though. If you're still seeing this post tomorrow, check back again in a couple of hours to see if your ISP's DNS lists have been updated. Take care people. This is me signing off from Host Nexus...see you all tomorrow at ICDSoft.

Thanks to Adrian, I was spared from having to manually upload each and every one of the Movable Type files. =D That task is really nothing to sniff at, I did it once when I first moved to Movable Type. It takes a long, long time, especially when you need to recreate all the directories and manually mput, taking care to type ASCII when it's supposed to be ASCII and binary when it's supposed to be binary. Nasty, nasty stuff. Good thing he lives off-campus so he's not restricted by the uni proxy. Easy one click transfers using Cute FTP, which isn't really all that cute. I prefer WS_FTP over that any day. Oh well, at least I got the job done in much less time than if I were to upload manually. :)

Well, I'm going to change my name servers now. I was surprised by the prompt service of ICDSoft [icdsoft.com], my new host. My previous one was Host Nexus [hostnexus.com], which is a really great hosting service, however I could not afford their new prices, thus the switch. It wasn't all that complicated moving from one host to another. Just a domain push to my new host and a Western Union money order and everything was sorted within hours. I only bought and posted the money order today. They didn't even wait for my money order to arrive, they had already set up my stuff after I showed them a scanned copy of the money order. Truly amazing service from ICDSoft, and their email support is really prompt too! I've heard lots of good things about ICDSoft and I'm going to enjoy my stay here, especially with the 333 MB of space and the 5 gigs of transfer a month. =D I'm contemplating having 7 days worth of entries instead of 14 days on the front page though. I'm currently averaging way over 2 gigs of transfer a month. Hmm...we'll see.

Eh, anyway I'm going to try and mess around with PHP a bit tonight and code something to automatically parse my old blog [monash.edu.au] into a format that can be imported into Movable Type. Why PHP? Well, I just finished my Industrial Experience which was mainly done using PHP and it's the scripting language that's still very fresh in my brain. I'll work something out. I can't have my old blog hosted permanently at Monash University's SNG box anyway, I'm graduating in June. Yes, I'm babbling again and I can't even understand half of the things I'm saying myself.

An all text entry. Whee!

It's a bit sad leaving Host Nexus though. Strange. :)

Hello folks. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm in the process of moving to another hosting company, so expect some strange stuff in the next couple of hours as the name server changes are made, the DNS is propagated etc. I haven't installed MT on my new host and I have to do that manually now using FTP via Telnet because my uni's proxy does not allow straight FTP access to off-campus addresses. I have to start a Telnet session to a Unix box to FTP out. Thus, I'll have to do a lot of mkdir, lcd, cd, ASCII, binary, mput and other fun things like recreating the convulated directory structure of MT tonight. Wish me luck, installing Movable Type manually using a Telnet account is not fun at all. :)

The old layout

I've did some modifications to the Cascading Style Sheet tonight for a slightly new layout. Once you get the hang of CSS it's not that hard to fiddle around with, it's just another scripting language. Anyway, I've tested it against 800x600 resolutions and it works. That's the lowest it'll go though, so my apologies to people who are using lower resolutions like 640x480. Supporting that resolution would limit me to only 300x225 pictures and sometimes I want 450x338 pictures to highlight certain events.

Anyway, I also did some color scheme changes for a more coherent design as advised by my helpful image consultant [blogspot.com]. :) The most visible change is the new banner above. I've always wanted to have a banner or logo of some sort, and this one goes back to the roots of the domain. When I bought this domain, it was meant to reflect this passage in the scripture:

And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood;
And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.
And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places.
And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;
And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:
For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?

Revelation 6:12-17

I had some stock photos of reddish moons during sunsets on polluted days, but what I finally settled for is something more common. The banner is actually a picture I took yesterday night. It was taken without flash and it's a view of the road leading into the Operations Office. You can see some trees and cars on the left, that's the Farrer Hall carpark. I used a Nikon 885 and the digicam is naturally very enthusiastic about red colors so that's why it came out with such a reddish tint when taken without flash.

The original, unmodified picture taken @ 3 am 21/03/2003

I simply resized it without constraining the proportions, thus squashing and stretching it and I liked the effect, so that's my banner from now on. I did not do any post production of any kind to the original picture. I find that it fits the original sixthseal.com significance, in that it nicely goes with the passage in the scripture describing the sixth seal of the scroll judgments in Revelation. Going back design wise to the essence of the domain is fitting, since sixthseal.com's first birthday is coming up. :)

Anyway, I'll appreciate it if everyone could tell me their opinions regarding this layout. Are there any errors or glitches when you view the page? What do you think of the design? Love it? Hate it? Indifferent? Comments and criticism regarding the layout will be very much appreciated in the comments box. :)

Can't say it's not eye-catching

P/S - The new POTD is submitted by veritas [mailto:]. He feels that the previous one with the mummified possum is slightly repulsive and he has given me a photo he took which he feels will be much more appealing than the previous POTD. :)

I just received those mini-sticker prints from my girlfriend though the mail! :)

Here's a glimpse into my personal life:

Left -> Right
Richard (my gf's bro), Alice (Richard's gf), Louisa (my gf), Shu Yee (Alice's friend)

You can guess the cast from the list above.

The pics are small because I could only make the pics quadruple the original size before the scan quality degrades. The source was a small photo sticker.

You took the best so why not take the rest?
Why not take all of me?
- NOFX's Olive Me

I love you Louisa! :)

On another note, war in Iraq has started and Iraq retaliated by firing missiles at Kuwait. Kuwait??? Why Kuwait? I wonder how Saddam Hussein's mind works. I thought with his anti-Zionist tendencies, we would have fired at Israel. Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against Israel or Jews, just speculating why he fired at Kuwait instead of Israel. Scuds can reach Israel as seen in the first Gulf War. Perhaps he's scared of fierce retaliation? I'm still scratching my head...someone help me out here. Or does Saddam have something personal against Kuwait?

For the record, I think US is a dangerous bully and Bush is a loose cannon. Why isn't anybody doing anything other then vocally "condemning" the strikes? AFAIK actively seeking to assassinate the leader of another country violates international law. They didn't even get UN backing. Oh well, might makes right.

Disclaimer: This post and all other drug related posts is made by veritas, who is a guest author on this blog. The owner of this domain is not responsible for the posts made by any guest authors.

The weekend has landed! Ouch! My left nostril is burning like hell. I'm going to seriously reconsider snorting the 5 mg dexamphetamine tablets. Those fillers and binders must be doing some damage to my nose. Anyway, I've just been chilling out today, taking a couple of clonazepam (Klonopin) and diazepam (Valium) tablets and having a couple of beers and some of this sweet and nicely packaged schnapps.

It's called Sidekick Cranberry Flavor Schnapps and it comes in a 4 pack which costs A$3.29. Pretty good price, and the design looks so nifty I just had to get a pack of those. They have other flavors as well, but the cranberry one sounds the best to me. Anyway, each of the Sidekick schnapps looks like a shot glass with an extra long bottom. It's 30 ml and 20% Alc/Vol which makes it 0.5 standard drinks each. It tastes really good.

I finished all of them in a couple of minutes. They just tasted too good...had a couple of beers with my buddies and smoked a couple of bowls of weed and popped a couple of benzos, which leads to the dex. Doing all the downers made me a bit sleepy, so I wanted to perk myself up. My poor left nostril, it's still burning. Seriously, I'll think very hard before I insufflate so much binder and filler into my nose again. Ouch...

Oh, and drugs are bad mmmkay...even prescription drugs. ;)

I think I'm pissed but I just don't know it yet coz I'm on CNS stimulants and CNS depressants at the same time. I feel...weird. =D

Ooh...I'm eligable to get 100 0.5 mg dexamphetamine tablets again in 7 days. For my 'narcolepsy' you see. That terrible, terrible affliction...my 'excessive daytime sleepiness' is affecting my studies. ;)

P/S - No offence intended to genuine sufferers of narcolepsy. I apologize if I tend to come across as proudly drawing attention to my exploits [sixthseal.com]. I don't agree with Dave's idealistic views on prescription medications (there will always be doctor shoppers and scripters and medical professionals are trained to pick them out, and that's still not going into what constitutes someone who's truly in need) but I agree with what he said about me. :) I do get overenthusiastic at times and writing gives me pleasure. I applaud his moral stance regarding prescription drugs but unfortunately, I don't share the same view. What do you think? Do I subconsciously glorify drug culture and use?

This is the last one in "The Sixties Nine" series. Choc Work Orange is based on the movie A Clockwork Orange [imdb.com]. Boy, do I remember that movie. I watched the DVD for the first time last year during one of my worst depressive episodes. I was in the midst of a terrible depression with panic attacks and didn't even feel like doing anything. Slept most of the day away and didn't even want to do anything but forced myself to watch Band of Brothers and Clockwork Orange while I tried to swallow the food I shovel food into my mouth every night. The smell of lavender was somehow associated to that period of depression too. That's why I can't stand all three of those things anymore. I'm not talking about the "Damn...am I bummed today or what" kind of depression but the crying-with-no-provocation, suicidal thoughts, feeling of total helplessness and terrible isolation, sleeping 18 hours a day and lying in bed for the remaining 6 hours kind. The serotonin imbalance kind of depression.

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. :) Dark, dark days indeed. I feared I would feel that way for the rest of my life! Good thing that I didn't get serotonin syndrome and my serotonin and dopamine neurotransmitters were not permanently damaged and I was right as rain again in 3 weeks. That was the crash from hell indeed. Worst ever. My, how I've digressed. Anyway, if you haven't watched this movie I would seriously urge you to watch it. I was surprised they could get away with those things 1970s films. Yes, the film was made in 1971 so I'm scratching my head over how it got into "The Sixties Nine". Lots of graphic violence and rape and I still can't get the image of Alex's eyes being forced open by metal clips while he's made to watch "corrective films". That sucks...what a nasty flashback that brought me. I'm pretty much desensitized to violence, and I don't know whether it was the way I was already feeling when I watched it or otherwise, but this film seriously disturbed me. Anyway, I didn't find the ice cream that good coz I don't like orange flavored stuff, except in orange juice. It's chocolate ice cream with an orange shell, but I swear the ice cream must have had an orange flavor as well coz it was pretty strong. Too...orangy for me, but if you like orange flavors this will be good for you.

This is the cover:

Orange theme with Choc Work Orange on it.

This is the back:

It has the R for Restricted film classification logo and then this:
Should the orange chocolate be seen? Should the chocolate ice cream be made public? While the controversy rages on, this remains a cult classic. Don't blink or you'll miss it.

This is the Magnum:

As you can see, it's pretty mutilated. :) I bought it at a Star Mart and forgot about it for an hour and half. Thus, it was partially melted and kinda broken. The shell was supposed to look orange and the ice cream brown.

This is the stick:

One Blink And It Was Gone.

That's the last one. :) To be honest, it's too cold to be eating ice creams today. I've eaten all 9 of them, I didn't keep the wrappers but I kept the sticks to mail off for their T-shirt offer. You get a T-shirt for A$6.10 if you mail in all 9 sticks. It will take 28 days to arrive but I'll post it up when I get it. 9 ice creams in 5 days...that's more than I'll usually eat in half a year! I hope I don't turn into a tub of lard like teddybwear [blogspot.com] said I would. =D

The world is as crazy as a clockwork orange.

Just finished my tutorial. Posting this from the labs. I had an early lecture today at Clayton. It was in one of the Law Faculty lecture theatres and I was amazed to see that they have "waiting rooms" in front of the lecture theatres. We do have something like that in the Block B lecture theatres, but nothing on this scale. They had heaps of seats and some of them are comfy ones like sofas. The lecture theatres were in a semi-circle around the lecturer podium, quite a different arrangement compared to other lecture theatres which are more like movie theatres. Anyway, I found a bit of nice graffiti in the first floor law building toilet:

The speech bubble goes: "Hello, I'm dead. I was killed by boredom during a Torts lecture."
The small thought bubble coming up of the guy popping up on top goes: "THE HORROR!"
The sides has TOO KOOL FOR SKOOL
The main feature is a light bulb (?) ending with a screw and sporting shades. There is a crossbones design at the back.

Well, the US has already dropped several bombs on the southern no-fly zone, in the northwest, command and control sites and a missile launcher. However, this is not considered the real attack. So what is this then? A pre-emptive strike?

Imagine all the people...this is John Lemon, a play on John Lennon [lennonworld.com]. This Magnum isn't ice cream, but sherbet! It's really good, if you like sherbet. Very...thirst quenching. :) It's finally going to cool down to 8 degrees Celsius - 14 degrees Celsius tomorrow. It was still pushing the low 30s today, but the strong winds made things better. It sure kicked up a whole lot of sand though, it was dusty all around Clayton. It reminded me of a scene from Dune or Iraq. :) Not sure if that's sand, smog or smoke though.

This is the cover:

A yellow wrapper with two lemons slices made to look like his trademark glasses. Simple but effective design.

This is the back:

We lay in bed until we created this ice cream. Imagine all the zesty lemon sherbet living life in peaceful white chocolate. Just try letting that be.

This is the Magnum:

Lemon sherbet encased in a white chocolate shell. Nice.

This is the stick:

Imagine If You'd Eaten It In Bed

One last one to go. :) Well, that's it from me today. I'm turning in early coz I gotta wake up early tomorrow.

Link of the Day: Actiq Oral Transmucosal Fentanyl Citrate [actiq.com]

Mmm...fentanyl lollipops...;)

The front of the package

I've seen these things around for a couple of months now but it never was stocked in large groceries until recently. This is Listerine Cool Mint PocketPaks, sold as "oral care strips" but works like breath freshener. Consuming something with a Listerine brand might seem unpalatable, but these things are actually really good. You're supposed to dissolve one strip in your mouth and add another one "for an added burst of flavor" if you want.

The back of the package

The strips looks fairly thick, but they dissolve quickly and easily. The cashier at Coles asked me whether I've had them before and what they taste like. Well, it doesn't taste unpleasant, au contraire, it tastes absolutely fabulous. I told her it tastes like really strong mints, which is true, but it also has that Listerine effect where you get a rush of tingly fresh air when you inhale.

Listerine PocketPak still in wrap

I like to take 3 of them in quick succession, I feel that is the best way to do it. It actually makes you tongue tingle slightly and the best thing about these things is it's really small. The PocketPak is about the size of a SD/MMC card. Or a postage stamp if you're not familiar with the size of those things. Great stuff. Mmm...tingly...

Listerine PocketPak with one of the strips showing

I nearly ate a rotten egg today! Well, I was going to boil two eggs (I prefer them fried but that produces too much stuff to wash) to go with the Indomie I'm having for dinner. I was holding them under the tap for quite a while since one of them had bits of excrement on it. Anyway, good thing I did that, coz I caught cracks in one of the eggs. If I had just boiled them anyway, I would not have caught them until I ate it. I'm just that blur. Ugh...just thinking about it...haha! It really was rotten coz I opened it to check. Cracked it over the sink to check the status. It left a stain in the sink too. It was that rotten. Anyway, this one is for Vivien [blogspot.com] - Cinnaman on the Moon. Man landed on the moon [nasm.si.edu] in 1969. As for the Magnum, it was just toooo plain. Even vanilla ice cream tastes sweeter than this white chocolate ice cream. It's even worse than the normal Magnums coz the normal ones has a chocolate shell at least. Cinnaman on the Moon just has a cinnamon flavored shell. There wasn't much cinnamon too, so the taste wasn't strong at all. It would have been much better if it had cinnamon ice cream or there was more cinnamon in the shell. As it currently is, it's the worst one in the batch so far. Simply mediocre. :)

This is the cover:

Moon craters in a dark blue foreground and Cinnaman on the Moon written. The "man" in "cinnaman" is underlined.

This is the back:

Houston - we have an ice cream. A cinnamon chocolate with white chocolate ice cream has been launched. That's one small step for Magnum, one giant lick for ice cream.

This is the Magnum:

The shell is cinnamon spiced chocolate. You can see the cinnamon spice flecks embedded in the shell if you squint a bit. The ice cream is white chocolate ice cream. It's not sweet at all for some reason.

This is the stick:

Feelin' Spacey?

It's just too plain to compare with the others. It would have been better if it was sweet at least.

Well, it's probably less than 48 hours till the US invasion of Iraq. Who thinks they'll attack as soon as the deadline is over? I'm thinking either Thursday or Saturday, not Friday.

I had my first GSC2714 Alcohol and Drug Use lecture today. Interesting stuff, going into epidemiology today. What's that got to do with Guava Lamp? Er...nothing, except the fact that lava lamps [lavaworld.com] are usually bought by stoners. This Magnum is shaped like a lava lamp blob, a strange asymmetrical ice cream. There are sections of guava ice cream mixed into vanilla ice cream, and the guava ice cream chunks were great!

This is the cover:

Green lava lamp blobs and the words "Guava lamp".

This is the back:

Switch on the ultimate mood enhancer - chillin' guava blobbing in vanilla ice cream and embraced in groovy white chocolate. Yeah baby, now we're in the mood!

This is the Magnum:

The shell is white chocolate colored green. There are large bits of guava ice cream together with vanilla ice cream inside. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Haha! Nah, I just wanted to say that coz I dropped the Magnum so it's a bit cracked. It's good, it's good.

This is the stick:

Bet You'd Lava-nother One.

Nice, on a hot autumn's day. Yeah, it's supposed to be autumn now but there are still hot days.

Terrible...terrible...weather. It's 33 degrees Celsius again. Good thing I'm finished for the day so I can just sit around, drink blessedly cool Mildura Sunrise orange juice (which only costs 97 cents for a 2L carton!) and eat ice creams. This one is called Jami Hendrix, a word play on Jimi Hendrix [jimihendrix.com]. I've only heard one of his albums, it's the first one I think - Are You Experienced. I'm sure it's a great album but I just can't get into it. It's not the genre of music I'm into. The ice cream is good though. There's lots of strawberry jam bits in the vanilla ice cream. It's too hot to think...

This is the cover:

Red swirls with Jami Hendrix. Jam is in pink.

This is the back:

This is so foxy it will make your hair curl. An awesome strawberry jam riff plays its way through mellow vanilla ice cream. It's solid choc rock at its best.

This is the Magnum:

The shell is made of dark chocolate with cookie bits. It's vanilla ice cream inside with lots of strawberry jam bits, but you can't really see that here, it's more visible deeper into the ice cream. Tastes good though.

This is the stick:

Now You're Experienced.

Too hot, too hot...at least it's going to cool down tomorrow.

I ate another one today since it's so hot. It's 6:30 pm now and it's still 33 degrees Celsius. :( My room is even hotter than that because of all the heat that was trapped inside previously. Anyway, this one is called Candy Warhol and is a play on Andy Warhol [warholfoundation.org], the artist who was perhaps most known for his drawing of a Campbell soup can. I say this one is the best ice cream in "The Sixties Nine" line to date! The shell is simply amazing. It's got sherbet or something like that and it fizzes in your mouth! It's not that mild fizzing either, it's the loud kind that makes 3D sounds you can hear inside your head! Whoa...what a head trip. :) The ice cream tastes very different too...I was wondering what flavor it was until I read the back. It's musk! It tastes like the Lifesaver musk candy. :)

This is the cover:

Repeated cans of Campbell soup with Candy Warhol on them.

This is the back:

Critics describe this piece as 'brillo'. The chocolate literally explodes colour into your mouth whilst the musk ice cream is quite simply stunning. This is not soup - this is ice cream.

This is the Magnum:

White chocolate shell with bits and pieces of colorful sherbet (I think) and musk ice cream inside! Very different and interesting taste.

This is the stick:

Simply Explosive.

It's too hot!!! To think that it's gonna hit 35 degrees tomorrow...

I went out this afternoon for some grocery shopping and also to hunt down the remaining ice creams in The Sixties Nine collection with Adrian. It seems that the line is not available in the big grocery chains like Coles or Bi-Lo but only in small convenience stores and the stores in petrol stations. Not only that, it also seems that each store has only part of the lineup so you have to hunt around a bit to get the whole series. I've gotten 8 of them so far (picked up Jami Hendrix today), and there's only one last one to finish my collection. :)

Well, saw something interesting in the meat section of Bi-Lo today. Nice and lumpy ox kidneys.

It also seems that Bi-Lo (Clayton) is doing some heavy staff pruning. Only two checkout counters are open, the deli section doesn't have a dedicated sales person, and there are heaps of weird stuff in the aisles! You know how people take something and then decided they don't want it and conveniently put it out of order at any aisle they're currently in? Yeah, there's heaps of that going around. Juice in the detergent aisle and stuff like that. I also saw:

An empty wrapper of crisps beside a box of Special K.
A half empty McDonald's soft drink cup in the sauces aisle.
A 6 pack of pies that someone had poked their fingers through the packaging and even one of the pies, revealing the meat inside.
An eaten yogurt cup in the dairy food section.

Tsk...I was under the impression that the Bi-Lo in Clayton is about to go under.

Anyway, what is up with all the calling cards? Indo Card, Go Bananas, GPS and several others can't be used to call Malaysia for the past few days! Today is the third day I've been unable to call out. I'm not the only one either, everyone using the cards couldn't call Malaysia. The error message is always either "The number you have called is disconnected" or "The overseas network is currently down". I tried calling Telstra customer services at 1221 and they said their cards were fine, so I'm gonna get a Say G'Day one tomorrow. Sheesh, wtf is up with all the other cards...

Peace Man Go. It's the third one in the series, not sure if it has any significance aside from the obvious Peace Man catchphrase of the 60s. Today is 33 degree Celsius weather and this ice cream really hit the spot. :) The Magnum is heart shaped, with a white chocolate shell and a delicious and refreshing mango center. Mmm...what a thing to eat on a hot day...

This is the cover:

A dove carrying a mango with psychedelic swirls behind it.

This is the back:

All we are saying is give mango a chance - a chance as chocolate, a chance as ice cream. Yeah man, peace, like, mango.

This is the Magnum:

Heart shaped! You can't really see that coz I bit the left part off. :) White chocolate shell with a nice mango center. Really refreshing on a hot day.

This is the stick:

Lick man, don't bite.

Anyway, I finally got a pillow today. =D I didn't have one since the start of the semester and was using a pillow case stuffed with clothes instead. Slept the hot afternoon away on a fluffy pillow today. Ah...my neck thanks me. :)

Oh no! Magnum came out with another limited edition series! Now I've got to eat all of them again. This series is called "The Sixties Nine" and it's about icons and themes of the 60s. There are 9 flavors in total, but the series is probably also named that way for the other connotation. The one I just ate is called Wood Choc, a word play on the Woodstock [woodstock69.com] festival.

This is the cover:

Psychedelic theme with part of a guitar visible.

This is the back:

It's the summer of love, and this festival's all about loving the ice cream. Slide your naked tastebuds though thick mud ice cream and rock on and on and on.

This is the Magnum:

It's mud ice cream inside with a strange chocolate-white chocolate-chocolate shell. Tastes like chocolaty chocolate chocolate. Does that make sense? :)

This is the stick:

Share love, not ice cream.

I'll post more when I eat them. :)

For Likki [blogspot.com]:

This is the one on the right wrist. Just a plain barb wire design I did back in 1997 in Christchurch. Did it on a whim while passing by a tattoo place. I'm just impulsive like that. The tattoo artist forced me to give it a 2 hour cooling off period to consider it. He actually said 24 hours coz I was just 16 then. Heh. Managed to convince him that I've given it serious thought after 2 hours. Didn't regret it, however I had to wear a bandage around it during Form 5 in Malaysia because of school rules. A running joke was that I was so accident prone my left wrist was always fractured. :)

This is the one on the left, done in 2000 in Melbourne. It's between the wrist and elbow and reads "Louisa Lee", my girlfriend's name. The tattoo artist also asked me to seriously reconsider this as she has met plenty of people who did tattoos of their girlfriends/boyfriends and came back a couple of months later after they have broken up to do a cover up tattoo. I was forced to give it a 2 hour waiting period before she would do it. I was with two other people so we just went to Burger King and talked. One of my friends wanted to do one of her boyfriend's name too, but she was underage. It's 18 for tattoos here. It's done in gothic font and the inside of the hollow fonts are purple bleeding into a white center. The color doesn't really come out on the digicam. I actually have before and after photos of this taken, but they're back in my home in Malaysia. Those are intriguing, if you like to see blood. ;) I never regretted this either, and I'm still with my girlfriend.

Mine are currently pretty standard stuff but I want to do a big piece on my back with a large crucifix and Jesus with his thorn of crowns and wounds and everything. The cross will have INRI on it and below I'll have "Leading the wild into the ways of the man". Unfortunately, my father threatens to disown me after I bounced the idea off him. :)

Another one I wanted to do is a large dragon (not ah beng style) starting from my right thigh and winding around my body and the head comes up above my right shoulder and it's breathing fire and there's a scene of hell on my chest and stomach and they'll be little flying imps trying to put the fires out with buckets of water. One of the fires will be engulfing my left chest around my nipple. There will be another wall of fire on my stomach to border the scene from hell. I thought that would go well with the crucifix on the back. Oh well, that's what I'll like to have someday. Just need to convince a couple of people that this is a good idea. ;)

I'm not quite sober now, and I strongly suspect I'll regret making this post tomorrow.

This is the second one I ate. It's called Cherry Guevara and it's a word play on Ernesto Che Guevara (1928-1967) [el-comandante.com] the revolutionary figure who became Minister for Industry in Cuba in the 60s. He wrote the book Guerrilla Warfare and was involved in the Cuban Missile Crisis as well. Hmm...a bit of a history lesson going on here. :) Anyway, the ice cream tasted really good but the cherry taste is a bit strong. It tasted good because of that anyway.

This is the cover:

Lots and lots of cherries in the background and a black and white picture of Che Guevara.

This is the back:

The revolutionary struggle of the cherries was squashed as they were trapped between two layers of chocolate. May their memory live on in your mouth!

This is the Magnum:

It's plain vanilla ice cream but the cherry sauce was really strong tasting and that made it taste good. Not making much sense here. Yeah...the cherry sauce is between two layers of chocolate shells. Gives it a bizarre effect and looks pretty. :)

This is the stick:

We will bite to the end!

Well, writing this with correct grammar and spelling and punctuation took a lot of concentration and a lot of help from Microsoft Word. Haha! Yes...a little personal joke there.

Aha! I found an old picture of me (circa 1997) in my autograph. Yes, I had one back in Form 5. I was going for a Keith (Prodigy) hairstyle and I had a nose piercing through the middle part of my nose then. I remember being forced by my Biology teacher to remove the piercing the next day. She won't let me go on the field trip otherwise. Hah! This was in Christchurch, New Zealand. I was doing Year 12 there at that time. Come to think about it, in that year alone, I had piercings on: the middle part of my nose, the right side of my nose, two on my left eyebrow, 5 on my left ear, my lower lip and my tongue. Not all at the same time though. And it cost me NZ$40 for each one, except for the tongue piercing which was NZ$100. I also got a barb wire tattoo on my right wrist too, for good measure. Geez...I was such an attention freak then. I admit it! I did it all for attention! :p Well, I was studying in Riccarton High School [riccarton.school.nz] then. Er...looking at their webpage, I noticed that the principal is still the same. I had a few run-ins with him during my time there. Wonder if he still remembers me...Now, I've removed all my piercings (except the tongue piercing - it wasn't visible) after my 1998 image makeover (returned to a Malaysian high school), but I did get another tattoo in 2000. Unfortunately, I also lost the tongue piercing due to the stud disappearing down the sink in a teeth brushing accident. Couldn't get it replaced coz they don't sell those things in my hometown. Hmm...the urge to pierce is with me again...

Hot Wong's @ Clayton Road

I checked out Hot Wong's today with Adrian and Christopher. It's a newly opened Asian food outlet at Clayton and we all live in Clayton so we might as well check out the new place to eat in town. The first thing that struck me about this place is the sign that said "20% discount if you present your student card". 20% is a pretty high discount, especially for food.

Hot Wong's Interior

Anyway, I had the KL Chilli Chicken. It comes with rice if you order the combo meal. Oh, and when you order a meal, all soft drink cans are 80 cents only. I went for a more interesting drink though - canned young coconut juice (with pulp). Come to think about it, I've never heard of KL Chilli Chicken until today. Is there such a thing as KL Chilli Chicken?

Hot Wong's KL Chilli Chicken

Well, the dish was quite hot (about 2/5 on my scale) but I have a high threshold for hot food, so your mileage may vary. The portions are fairly generous, but it's not the size of normal Chinese restaurants. I had to dig around a bit to find the meat in the mix too. Most of it was vegetables.

One of the many pieces of art (?) on the wall - each one shows a stick figure with a rice farmer hat engaged in a different sport

Anyway, I guess the best thing about this place is the prices. It's really cheap, compared to other places around here. The meal was A$6.50 and that's only A$5.20 after the 20% discount. Just remember to show your Student ID card when you order your meal. :)

Interesting fact: The counter was staffed by a Caucasian female. Not something you see every day in Asian restaurants.

Pill Name: @ (ats), dot coms
Pill Color: Brownish white with blackish brown specks
Content: MDMA (tested)
Availability: Melbourne
Circa: March 2003

@ - Front (digicam macro mode)

This is my first time taking Ecstasy (MDMA) at home. I've always only taken it during raves. I wanted to see what Ecstasy feels like after you've just got off a dexamphetamine run and is coming down like a ton of bricks, tired as fuck, depressed and hungry from not having any solid food in 52 hours. Ecstasy is a very mood dependant drug when compared to other drugs. My serotonin and dopamine levels are probably running on near empty after my dex run so I wanted to see if I would still roll after taking a pill.

I didn't get much sleep, but managed to knock myself out with 3 mg of clonazepam and a couple of bowls of weed last night. I haven't slept for 48 hours before that. The last time I took Ecstasy was in October 2002 [monash.edu.au]. Now that's a war story to tell the grandkids. ;) I overdid it back then, especially with the meth. :) With hindsight, the cannabis I thought was laced with PCP was probably just a strong strain after all. And all the pills were probably MDMA. MDMA gets converted into MDA so hallucinations are possible if you take a lot. The amount meth I consumed that time made me paranoid as hell and all strung out.

@ - Back (digicam macro mode)

Anyway, I ate half and snorted the other half. The brownish white @ tasted like pepper! I wonder if pepper is one of the things they used as a binder or a cut. Speculating whether the black specks are pepper. :) I felt apprehensive about snorting the other half after that. I did insufflate the other half 5 minutes later anyway. It didn't burn going up, but after a couple of minutes...whoa! It felt like my sinuses were on fire! It felt very uncomfortable for several minutes.

I didn't roll at all, but my pupils were hugely dilated. No loved up feelings, instead I felt irritable, depressed and tired. Running on empty I guess. Very sleepy too. It was extremely dsyphoric during the come up. Well, I'm going to smoke a couple of bowls of cannabis now and eat something and get some sleep. Really, really depressed right now. The @s are psychoactive, I feel some MDMA type effects but I'm just too tired to roll I guess.

That was what I wrote until nearly 15 minutes later when the oral dose kicked in. =D Still tired as fuck but more alert up now, cold clammy hands pupils obscenely dilated, totally scattered. I am rolling hard now, getting visual distortions from my prodigiously sized pupils, and feeling good, but still very tired and hungry and there's this nagging feeling that I just want it to end and get some sleep. This is a good MDMA pill if otherwise, but I'm just too tired and not in the mood.

Lesson learnt: Don't roll when you're running on empty.

@ - Front (scanned)

Fuck, now I gotta deal with the horrible E-pression tomorrow. I didn't even get much out of the pill due to being tired. I'm so scattered right now. Going to post it anyway, although I don't make sense to myself too. lalala

Okay, I'm rolling really hard now and feeling great but I'm still tired. My jaws are permanently clenched! Hehehe! Man, I'll be feeling super now if I wasn't tired. Should have eaten before I dropped the pill. The lesson still applies thought. :) Feeling very loved up now! What a wasted pill! I would have felt wonderful if I wasn't hungry and tired. I want to go out now, but I'm still too hungry and tired. And I can't eat. Yuck! Appetite suppressed. Thought of eating...ugh...blurry vision...

My jaws are clenching so hard. I feel like throwing up. Hehehe Not sleepy anymore, but tired and hungry. Hai...trying not to throw up. Nausea. Music euphoria. Very loved up. I'm tired because I haven't eaten in days and I can't eat now coz my appetite is suppressed. Heh! My hands cold. My hands clammy. My feet cold. My feet clammy. :) If only I wasn't so tired, I'll be out the door and off to a rave in second!

@ - Back (scanned)

Oh my God, such a body high right now. I sound so cliché but touching feels wonderful. Next time I'm only going to eat Es coz snorting just makes me feel the speedy parts without the good parts. I want to talk more but I should stop before I make more of a fool out of myself. ;)

P/S - This is not usually my report style but I'm still peaking now and my scattered-ness can be pretty apparent. :) I could have waited till tomorrow and edited it a bit but I don't care, coz I'm happy now and I WANT to post it. So there! :) Peaking...so...hard...wow...if...only....I...wasn't...so...tired...and...hungry...this...would...be...heaven...

Lesson #2 would be DON'T TAKE E AT HOME! What a waste, going to a rave would be so good right now. I think Lesson #2 supercedes Lesson #1 coz I'm feeling great now even though I'm running on empty. Haha!

Oh, I have a theory. When you don't eat for a long time, instead of absorbing any stuff you eat faster, it actually slows down the absorption time because the interstines have slowed down their process coz you dodn't eat for too long. That's my theory anyway about why it hit me so late.

I'm not even tired or hungry anymore! Hah! Such a body high, touch feels so good. Ignore the earlier Mr. Sour Puss paragraphs, I'm feeling absolutely great right now! :) Ignore Mr. Sour Puss. Or taunt him! Mr. Sour Puss, nyeh nyeh. I'm Mr. Happy right now! :)Okay, I'm not going to write anymore, don't want to waste the roll WRITING! I can't even see clearly anyway. :)

-veritas (Mr. E-tard)
March 2003

If only I had something better than words to tell you how wonderful I'm feeling right now...

Question:How are you feeling?
Answer:I'm SUPER! Thanks for asking! (sung to the Big Gay 'Al theme song in South Park)

Look at this picture of a dead possum! It was left out for so long it looks slightly mummified.

Saw it today while using a shortcut back to halls. It's a rarely traveled path so it's no wonder it's been unnoticed for so long. I'm gonna make this Picture of the Day. :)

Well, I finally sorted out all my subjects today. Today is the last day to add subjects and 5 pm is the cut off time. I got an email from the GSC2714 Alcohol and Drug Use [monash.edu.au] lecturer at around 4 pm that said I could enroll in the subject even if I didn't do the co-requisite. I did a first year Psychology subject back in Inti College, Kuching and he accepted that as a pre-requisite.

In a last minute decision, I dropped one of my CSSE subjects and took this one. I already had more than enough 3rd year CSSE subjects to meet the requirements and already had enough for two specializations, so I'm taking an interesting subject for a change this semester. I've previously only taken subjects from the CSSE (Computer Science and Software Engineering) faculty.

We actually have several free electives where we can take subjects from other faculties, but I've never exercised that option until now. I also found out that we need 36 points of second year subjects and I only had 30 before this semester. I had always taken 3rd year subjects and logically that should be alright, since 3rd year subjects are harder. But there is a quota of 2nd year subjects which I haven't fulfilled, so that's why I'm taking some 2nd year subjects in my final semester. A bit weird eh, but I've already done more than enough 3rd year CSSE subjects.

My final subject list:

CSE3151 COMMUNICATION NETWORK PERFORMANCE
CSE2030 WEB INTERFACE TECHNOLOGY
ELC1000 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE FUNDAMENTALS
GSC2714 ALCOHOL AND DRUG USE

This should be an easy semester for me. I'll be pretty comfortable with CSE3151 and CSE2030 from the subject description. I'm also taking a first year subject from the Electronic Commerce faculty as an elective coz I figured it'll be easy and it's somewhat related to my degree anyway. And finally, GSC3714 Alcohol and Drug Use, a Behavioral Science faculty subject and something I'm personally interested in, so this should be fun. They even have an agency visit to a related organization planned, which we're supposed to write up and give a presentation on.

I also managed to allocate all my classes to Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday so I have an extra long weekend. Heh! :) Well, I also paid all my bills and sorted out some stuff today so everything is ready for the new semester. Did you know I couldn't make outgoing calls on my cell phone yesterday because I forgot to pay the bill? It just slipped my mind and I only paid it today and got it unbarred again.

Paid my course fees and halls rent too, so everything is settled. Phew. Had to run around a bit today. Since there is a limit of EFTPOS transactions here, I had to withdraw A$3,500 from the bank earlier in the day to pay for everything. They didn't have A$100 notes so it was all in A$50 notes. I couldn't even fit that pile in my wallet! I tried, but my wallet wouldn't fold after that. I had to carry it around like a stack of letters.

Anyway, there seems to be a lot of competing calling cards nowadays. The prices for calls to Malaysia have all dropped down to several cents compared to 20c when I just came here. There were heaps advertising 4.9c, 3.9c, 3c and such. I saw a new card called Australian Express which stated 3c to Malaysia. Usually, the quality of the connection for the low cost ones are terrible, so I just got an A$5 one to test it out.

I found out that it was made by the same company as Planet Telecom Australia [sixthseal.com], which I mentioned in that post as having an absolutely terrible connection. The dial in numbers for Australian Express were the same as Planet Telecom Australia so I wasn't expecting much. I was pleasantly surprised that the connection quality has improved. However, they have an absolutely appalling connection fee/flagfall/watever. I called back home to discuss my subjects with my dad and got my mom and I called my dad's cell and talked for probably all of 15 minutes and that was the end of the card.

Granted, it was only a A$5 one, and calls to cell phones are charged a higher rate, but that means their connection fee is really, really high. It said I had 96 minutes when I called my home phone (there's something wrong with their math here somewhere, that's not 3c per minute) and 63 minutes when I called my dad's cell, so I reckon the connection fee (the fee that's charged each time you use it) is A$1+. That's a ridiculous amount, so I don't think this card is worth it unless you buy higher denominations and plan to talk for a long time.

Good news! I have wonderful news! The issue with my CSE3153 Network Administration subject, which marks were withheld because my assignments were somehow lost, has been resolved! I resubmitted the assignments (which was why I was up all night yesterday) and have gotten word that I'll get a Credit for the subject! I did correctly predict my expected marks [sixthseal.com] after all. Wonderful news by itself, but wait...when it rains, it pours! =D

Remember that I failed my summer semester subject? The BUS3650 Business Applications of Neural Networks one? Yeah, I got a 45, which is a Fail. I've been talking to my course coordinator, Sylvia Tucker who has been extremely helpful and I ended up getting a Near Pass. A Near Pass is considered a pass and counts towards the credit points so that's good news indeed! I don't have to re-take any subjects and I'm taking a normal workload this semester. Many thanks to Sylvia and also my lecturer Kate Smith for making this happen. Anyone notice the abundance of hyperbolic adjectives in this post? It's because I'm absolutely st0ked! =D

Life is peachy...

Yeah, I bought a nectarine at Coles before I came back just to add that "Life is peachy" sentence and a peach picture in the post. It cost me 81 cents if you're interested to know. I was anticipating that things will resolve itself this way, and it sure did! :) Ah...the 81 cents wasn't spent in vain. ;)

Anyway, I didn't get any sleep last night, but I'm still alright. I actually spent more time doing other things than my assignment last night. I spent 2 hours at McDonalds with my buddies and ended up surfing a whole lotta blogs and making comments here and there. I only rallied up and started working seriously at 3 am. Heh! It's all good, everything is resolved now and I can finally get into my last semester.

Well, there's another thing, I also received word from my IE client Jason Ceddia that we're passing the subject for sure, although the grade is still unknown. Rains. Pours. =D Anyway, tell you about my day...went to uni early in the morning to print out my stuff and discovered that my account was locked because there is one unpaid subject. I have paid for the whole year last June but I didn't know IE was considered as two subjects, so I have to pay for an extra subject.

Anyway, that's okay, gonna pay everything tomorrow so my account will be unlocked again. Good thing my halls net access is still online. Well, since I couldn't use the computers in uni to print out my stuff, I went to see Ashley (my IE supervisor) and he kindly allowed me to use his computer and his staff printer to print out my stuff. It has just been a good day for me, everything is falling into place nicely. :)

Yeah, anyway, I can take an elective from any faculty this semester. I've done most of my 3rd year CSSE (Computer Science and Software Engineering) electives so I've got some free electives stashed away. I was very, very interested to take this:

BNS3052 Drugs, brain and altered awareness [monash.edu.au]

An excerpt:

Clinical, prescribed and recreational drugs are discussed in regard to their modes of action on brain cells, the regions of brain targeted and their effects on cognition and behavior.

What an interesting elective to take! It's from the Faculty of Medicine, Nursing and Health Sciences and I would have really enjoyed doing this subject. I mean really enjoyed it, instead of thinking of it as uni work, I'll be willing to spend heaps of personal free time on it. I reckon I would do well in it too...;)

Well, too bad it's only offered in the second semester, and it's the first semester now. :( Too bad, that would have been a very interesting subject to take. Another interesting one is:

CGP1004 Alcohol and drugs [monash.edu.au]

An excerpt:

Management of withdrawal and brief and long term management strategies are discussed in relation to alcohol, nicotine, benzodiazpine, opiates, stimulants, cannabis and other drugs.

They misspelled benzodiazepine. It has an 'e'. Don't mean to be the Spelling Nazi, but this is pretty basic to get wrong. This subject sounds slightly anti-drug compared to the previous one, which sounded neutral and more interested in research than moral issues. Oh well, it's a second semester subject as well, so there's no point drooling over this. I can't take it coz it's the first semester now! I would have loved to take the first one though, I would have enjoyed working on that one indeed! I'll be interested to do some research (in the name of science of course, what were you thinking?) on whether high doses of methamphetamine actually causes the irreversible degeneration of dopamine receptors and dopamine transporter loss. ;)

Ah yes...I lost my train of thought.

What happens when you leave a pile of eaten drumsticks for 5 minutes in autumn?

Almost heaven, West Virginia...

Someone tell me to finish my assignment already, I'm doing everything except that!

My pupils dilate when I see you
A glimpse of your white skin
You smell so good, you taste so pleasant
There is no happiness like mine

Being with you makes me feel like God
Blasphemy, you give me so much pleasure
I want to be with you every second of the day
There is none other like you

I lick your skin, I eat you out
I savor the smell of your presence
Fill my nostrils with your essence
I want to make love to you

Fleeting, like a feather in a breeze
Leaving, after a scant few hours with me
Fickle, you leave me wanting
My pupils constrict, I feel like shit

Dexamphetamine, my love
Don't ever leave me
Speak my name...
I want you here with me...

Don't wake me from this dream...(A chemical love story)
- veritas March 2003

Anyone remember these things? I remember them from primary school, used to get them for 10 cents each from that small sweet shop right outside the school gates. :) Well, they go for 20 cents at some Asian groceries here (5 for A$1), what nostalgia it brings to see these things again. I used to eat them one by one but it seems I needed all four now to produce a chewable wad.

I noticed a spike in traffic these couple of days and found out that it was coming from this Bluelight thread: Nurofen plus myth [bluelight.nu]. Welcome Bluelighters! I didn't make that post, but I do browse the forums once in a while. Bluelight is a harm reduction forum.

On a kinda similar note, my mini Easter egg (if you can even call it that...) made it into the live WIER site. That's the project management site I was working on for Industrial Experience for the past year. IE students are using the updated site starting this semester. I was doing the student side help screenshots and had two that basically said "I've uploaded the test user interface at http://www.sixthseal.com/wier.html Can everyone go there and give me some input regarding the user friendliness etc? Thanks!" for the Group Discussion Forums help. Heh. It's not much, but I couldn't resist, and anyone who actually bothered to type in that URL will see this page: WIER [sixthseal.com]. Bit of harmless publicity going on there. ;)

Anyway, there was a couple of problems with my Network Administration subject which marks were withheld last semester but I just worked things out today, so that's a bit of good news. I've gotta work hard tonight though, so that's it from me.

Link of the day: Malaysian 'curiosities' join the library collection [monash.edu.au].

Look at the second picture showing the woman smoking a cigarette and looking very sak. Priceless.

Why do people crave bananas when they're feeling depressed? My theory is (I have a theory for just about anything, just ask me), it's because bananas naturally contain tryptophan. That is a precursor for 5HTP, which you can also get in capsule form in some health food shops. No one I know takes 5HTP for anything other preloading or postloading (softening the comedown from Ecstasy (MDMA)) though. Well, we all know that serotonin is 5HT2 and 5HTP is a precursor of 5HT2 (serotonin). This information is all available somewhere if you search for it. Thus, if we follow this logic and we assume that the body does readily convert tryptophan -> 5HTP -> 5HT2 (serotonin), then bananas (which contains tryptophan) is a natural anti-depressant. Serotonin is naturally produced in your brain and is what actually makes you happy (to put it in simple terms). And that's why some people crave bananas when they're depressed and that's why I reached into the fruit bowl when I went for lunch today. There you have it. I think...:)

Hmm...I've always found the word 'banana' slightly amusing. Guess my mind never did graduate from primary school.

I went to Moomba with a couple of my friends on Saturday night. Moomba is an annual festival and the word is from an Aboriginal word which means "getting together and having fun" and it lasts a week. There are concerts, street parades, waterskiing competitions but we just went to the carnival and fireworks show.

The place was totally packed by the time we got there, which was slightly after 9 pm. I had to apply contrast, gamma correction and sharpen liberally to some of the pictures coz my battery was low and I could not use flash all the time.

The east bank was full of people since it's the best place for watching the fireworks show. The boats you see in the middle of the river are the barges they let the fireworks off from. The west bank had trees and lamp posts that obscure the vision slightly, so it's not that popular.

Well, there were so many people there that it's hard to even walk at a reasonable pace!

The barge they're letting fireworks off from

We watched the fireworks, which was okay, but Christopher said that it wasn't as impressive as the one our "Au Yong Contingent" produced this year. Heh. We both live around the Au Yong Road region back in Sibu.

Anyway, it was good for me to watch the fireworks since I came back early this year. I didn't get to spend Chinese New Year in Sibu coz of my summer subject and IE. I failed my summer subject, which makes it a fucking waste, but let's not talk about that. :)

The finale, taken with flash

Well, the atmosphere was pretty good, lots of smoke and that that fireworks smell which is associated with Chinese New Year in my mind. It lasted probably 20 minutes, and then we walked around for a bit.

The finale, taken without flash

A couple of us went on the Ranger, it's that ride that goes 360 degrees.

The Ranger

I was planning to bring my digicam on it and take a photo while it was upside down but hmm...it's a good thing I didn't coz even though technically you know the centrifugal forces will hold you down, there is a strong psychological urge to hold onto the bar anyway.

Me in front of the Moomba directions signboard

Anyway, there were a couple of other rides there:

Dodgem bumper cars.

A ferris wheel behind the carnival stalls.

Some kind of swing which "allow your to defy gravity for 4 minutes". It's kinda like a cross between a huge trampoline and a reverse bungee.

The Thunderbolt! A mini roller coaster.

Some kind of spinning thingy which will make you throw up so I didn't get on it, considering we just had a huge dinner before.

The Scorpion. Another mini roller coaster ride.

This is us - the bunch of high school friends from Methodist High School, Sibu who're in Melbourne

From left: Chuck Yong, Adrian, Karen, Ung Hing, Huai Bin (me), Chuck Fong.
Not everyone was in the picture.

Moomba is fun!

Happy birthday Karen! It was Karen's birthday today so we got her a cake and decided to go for some Greek food. We actually planned to go to Antipodes but Dion [dionrestaurant.com.au] was just two doors down and we haven't eaten there before. The Dion PR guy standing outside saw us standing in between and contemplating which one to go to and immediately approached us and invited us inside. He said Dion is an award winning restaurant and we won't be disappointed. Heh. Alright, dude.

Going off on a different tangent it seems that a lot of restaurants here have PR people (promoters?) standing outside trying to pull customers in but I don't see that a lot back home in Malaysia. Interesting. Oh, I bumped into one of my old college friend while in the city today. It was good to see him again, haven't seen him around for a while.

Anyway Dion has a really nice ambience, the lighting was great and it's a very popular place to eat. It was empty when we went there early but it soon filled up to capacity. There were only two waiters and two waitresses and but the service was still good.

Karen (the birthday girl) with Ung Hing her bf

Oh, guess what I had today? Ouzo! [greekproducts.com] :)

I had wanted to try that ever since I saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding. They were drinking shooters of it during one scene and it looked so tempting. I didn't actually know what it was called, so I asked our waitress whether she has watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Haha! Well, she smiled and said yes so I asked her what that shooter they were drinking is called.

God's gift to mankind

It wasn't on the menu, but they had it (it was a Greek restaurant and even the waiters and waitresses are Greek). Anyway, I ordered two of those and downed them. It's really, really amazingly tasty! There is a strong smell and taste of liquorish and it's very sweet and has a very satisfying aftertaste. Very, very nice, if you ever see it around, do yourself a favor and have one of these things. It's so tasty it ought to be illegal! :)

I could drink these things all day, but they cost A$6 each, which wouldn't be expensive normally, but I'm running short this month due to having to replace most of my computer about a week ago. Delicious, delicious stuff. Devine! I reckon you can get it at Greek bottle shops too, there's one in Clayton so I'll pop in and check someday.

Thien Na showing us how to properly butter a bread. Apparently, just slathering it on top is not considered appropriate

Anyway, I'm digressing so much. Just don't miss out on having this if you get the chance. It's absolutely amazing stuff. Well, four of us had the dinner banquet and the others had the main meals. The dinner banquet was really too much for four people, but it sure was interesting.

If you can't read the menu from the picture, I've cut and pasted it from the Dion website. The banquet we had was:

MIXED DIPS - Various Dips
DOLMADES - Vine leaves filled with rice and herbs
SAGANAKI - Pan fried graviera cheese, lemon and oregano dressing
LOUKANIKA - Char-grilled Greek sausages
KEFTEDES - Char-grilled Greek style meat rissoles
MIXED SOUVLAKI - Char-grilled lamb and chicken on skewers
OCTAPOTH1 XITHATO - Marinated octopus
FILLETS OF FISH - Fillets of fresh fish
PATATES - Oven baked potatoes
ELLENIKI SALATA - Greek Salad
DESSERTS - Exclusively from Medallion Cakes

The dips were the most interesting thing. There was a purple dip, a pink deep, a bizarre green dip, an orange one and a yellow one. At one point, I was just eating the dip with a fork just for fun. They look so interesting.

Karen eating...

I've had heaps of dolmas before so I'm familiar with it. I used to get it in cans, my lecturer in college is such a big promoter of dolmas and got us into eating it. It's good stuff, but the Dion ones beats the ones of out the cans anyday.

Saganaki was too cheesy, I didn't really enjoy it, and I think no one else did too. Loukanika is pretty spicy and that's good but I was so full at that time I only ate half. Keftedes wasn't really anything special...tasted like meat patties filled with herbs. The grilled lamb and chicken was my favorite!

One side of the table: (from left) Chuck Fong, Thien Na, Huai Bin (me), Christopher

The other side of the table: (from left) Chuck Fong, Adrian, Chuck Yong, Karen

This is so bizarre. Ung Hing is missing and I don't remember the seating was this way before.

The marinated octopus was great as well, but I didn't eat much of the fish and potatos. I'm more of a meat eater although I like fish, just not in fillets. The Greek Salad was good as well, but the goat cheese was a bit too hard. Eh, so I'm a food reviewer now, it seems. :)

Okay, now the best thing is the desserts. It comes from Medallion Cakes, a place three doors down, which serves the best cakes and desserts in Melbourne. In my opinion anyway! They're elaborate works of art that looks almost too good to eat!

Well, Thien Na had to leave after the main course to fetch her bf to go to Moomba and we got her to carry a lamb kebab with her. We left soon after to go to Moomba as well, and that'll be the next post. I feel sleepy now but I'll write it if I feel more awake later. It's probably going to be tomorrow though. Yeah, it'll definately have to be tomorrow. *yawn* Anyway, Dion is a great place, I'll go again, if only just for the Ouzo. Heh. It's at Lonsdale St, I'm sure everyone in Melbourne knows where it is, since it's on such a prominent street. Oh, funny thing was, we forgot to bring the cake out! We left it at Karen's house while waiting for her to change. Heh. Happy 22nd Karen!

Did you know? That everyone is this picture was from Methodist High School, Sibu in 1998 :) They're all my high school friends.

I just came back from Moomba. Saw this while crossing the road on Swanston Street. There was this police car beside a red car and an Asian family were talking to the police. The red car seems to be their's and apparently someone removed the whole front bumper of their car and put it by the side of the road on the sidewalk! :) It looked so funny, so I snapped a photo of it. It's a pity for the folks it happened to though. Hmm, there seems to be a higher than usual police presence in the city, probably due to the Formula 1 and the Moomba Festival. Well, I'm going to write about Karen's birthday @ Dion first and then Moomba so expect those later in the night. Meanwhile, look at these photos. Not something you see everyday.

You know how sometimes you only thought of a witty reply after it has passed? Well, this is kinda like this. This one is from a couple of days ago when me, Chris, Adrian, and Karen went to get Ung Hing from the airport.

Saw a couple of thick 747 engineering manuals which you could probably sell to al Qaeda for er...a couple of sheep?

This is gotta go quicker coz I'm sleepy already. I only remember what happened because the pictures are in order. Took pictures of random stuff:

Some roadside at the CDB.

Hilton airport. I mean the airport at Hilton. No, I mean the Hilton at the airport.

I'm going to do this like those mini photo prints so you have to squint to see anything.

Waiting at the airport.

People coming out.

Oh no, I'm getting sleepier, I'm going to fall asleep before finishing this.

Had the Big Bloke BK Beef Burger. It's the one with the advertisement that goes around asking guys whether they want vegetables in their burgers. You know what the answer is. This one has no vegies whatsoever, only meat and hash browns or onion rings as the "vegies". I can't even remember which it was. Uh oh, there goes my memory.

BTW, spell check thinks vegies should be spelled veggies.

This is what I had, also had the Hershey's Chocolate Pie. Eh, it seems that I'm going back to my one meal per day schedule nowadays. I just couldn't be bothered otherwise. Digression.

At Burger Kings.

The guys in the other direction

Thought you might like a closer look at the Hershey's Chocolate Pie.

This one should have gone before, it's all over the place! :)

California Dreaming. All the leaves are brown and the sky is grey. I'll be for a walk on a winter's day. I'll be safe and warm. California Dreaming. On such a winter's day! ALL THE LEAVES ARE BROWN! AND THE SKY IS GREY!

Some random guy.

Er...yes, I like that song. It's one from the 60s I think. By the The Mama & The Papas I think. Although Hi-Standard did a cover on it in one of the Fat Wreck Chords albums.

Karen looking pissed.

My Pop the Cop. Don't know who it's originally by but it's covered by Dickies. Strangely interesting. Even Country Road is covered in here. Take me home, to the place where I belong. West Virginia.
Oh, I nearly fell asleep

Some random bridge.

Starting to go into Stage 1 sleep...

Last one:

Some random building at night.

I just remembered about this coz the same group plus a couple others are going out to celebrate Karen's birthday and head off to Moomba.

Oops...it's nearly 7 am. Hmm...I don't think I came across as completely sober...

I saw this today while in uni. I just got my summer semester results today and as I said earlier, I failed and wanted to see if there was anything I could do to get something like a near pass or faculty pass. I was worried about failing this and approached the lecturer during the exam about the possibility of doing some extra credit work just in case I fail.

Well, the lecturer pretty much said it's out of her hands. I went to my course coordinator for help so we'll see what happens. I hope to get some consideration regarding this matter as I'm supposed to graduate in June and my student visa expires then. I like Sylvia (my course coordinator) as she's always been very helpful.

Well, I hope we can work something out. I really need to pass this subject. I'm pretty bummed about this right now. Hoping for a conceded pass or something. Well, we'll see how things go. Hmm...I posted pictures I took of the clubvibes.com reps that were at the Clayton campus this afternoon but talked about something else altogether. My Industrial Experience is practically over and that should be something to be happy about but this failing business sure rained on my parade. Failing sucks. I feel st00pid...

That's me, taken today as promised. Showing my girlfriend my remorseful face to apologize for not hearing the cell phone ring yesterday night. She called me 39 times but I didn't even hear it! I've never gone into such a deep sleep before. I'm sorry Louisa! I hate it when that happens too. :) I slept like a dead man yesterday. It was only for a couple of hours, I was feeling tired so I laid down for a while and I just totally passed out. I haven't been sleeping much lately because I'm finishing up my Industrial Experience stuff. Several other people called me and I got a couple of SMSs as well but I never even heard anything. It was the dreamless sleep of the dead. :)

It was around 8 pm at that time and I only woke up at around 1 am. Adrian called me for supper and I must have been in a low sleep stage then coz I heard the phone ringing this time. What luck, I would have slept through the night otherwise. I didn't feel hungry but the Berry Tornado sure looked good and ice cream is easy to digest. :)

Well, there's another reason for being remorseful. I failed my summer semester subject by 5 marks. I got 45. Two remorsefulness for the price of one. How wonderful.

What is the best way to avoid coming down? Why, more drugs of course. :) Instead of popping a couple of clonazepam tablets and go to sleep, I've stayed up and have been going on strong since then. 5 days and 11 hours with only 4 hours of sleep in between. The first two days were not drug assisted. I'm still feeling very energized although I don't want it to go longer than tonight, because I'm running low on pills and I want to save up the rest for a rainy day. I've had 74 of the 5 mg tablets in three days. Such fun!

I could work if I wanted to, although after several days without sleep, it became very hard to do so. I felt very scattered in general. I usually insufflate one tablet and eat one as a 'maintenance dose' to keep awake. If I want a good buzz, I'll eat 5 and snort two. That's not economical though since I only have 100 tablets and I can't go back to the doctor until about a month passes. I could have said a higher dose last time but I didn't want to blow it by sounding too ridiculous.

Insufflating tablets. The way I prepare it is to put the pill on a piece of firm cardboard. This is a one of those scratchable lottery tickets. I don't gamble, I just got a couple last time for fun.

Anyway, when I was younger, I used to think that people who say they can stay up for days or even weeks were bullshitting. It sounded incredulous then but it's actually very possible and easy if you want to do it. With chemical assistance of course. I learnt it the hard way when I had nearly ½ gram of meth last year.

Well, I noticed several good and bad points about dexamphetamine. They give a really good head buzz when you snort them. It's a rush of blood to your head and that's quite pleasurable. However, the high is harsh and I get easily agitated if I snort it. Eating them produces a really even high that's more euphoric and 'happier' than snorting which is strange. Maybe, it's just me.

Well, another good thing is the extreme weight loss that happens while you're tweaking. I talked about this with Huai Bin when we were in college together. Not sure if I'm allowed to mention it, but he calls it the Tricyclic Diet because it works in three powerful ways. Amphetamines suppress appetite so you don't feel hungry at all. It also increases your metabolism because it's a stimulant and that contributes towards your weight loss. The third one is from the stimulating effects when you can't sit still and go out dancing the night away. Exercise.

I lost an unbelievable amount of weight in these few days. My stomach shrunk noticeably and I think I've only eaten once while tweaking. It saves money too eh? :) No need to pay for food. The downside is you sometimes get tired if the drug wears off before you redose. That's bad, I nearly collapsed while walking yesterday. I nearly fell asleep in the shower too and I kept on nodding off EVEN WHILE WALKING! Heh!

I then fold it in half and use something durable like a dog tag to crush it. This one was from when I lived at the halls last time while in college. I find it easier if you press down hard on it first. You don't really need to apply that much pressure, most pills are not that solid. Just press down and apply pressure until the pill crumbles. I then run the edge of the dog tag several times over it until I can 'feel' the smooth consistency

It really was that bad. I kept on bumping into people and had microsleeps and nearly fell down. I had to be economical coz I didn't have that many tablets and you do build up tolerance after a while. I also had a totally flaccid and shrunken penis all the while. It always happens when I take amphetamines. Also, taking a piss can really be a chore on dex. It's hard to start pissing so I had to tickle my backbone a bit to get started. Sorry if that's more information that you needed to know. :)

Another bad point is it raises your blood pressure that standing up suddenly is likely to make you pass out if you're not careful. I took a little too much yesterday and got a bit paranoid. Also, you have to remember that stimulants makes you violent so watch out for that. Amphetamines are also neurotoxic so that should be taken into consideration.

Anyway, I'm rambling here. I just had my last dose of two tablets eaten and one insufflated 30 minutes ago. I'm saving the other 26 pills for another day. Oh, I also found out that taking a small dose, like a single tablet works kinda like caffeine in that it makes you be able to concentrate and think really well. It's very nice for studying or doing some work. Well, I still have a lot to talk to you all about but I've written too much already. Does anyone ever enjoy reading my drug related posts? It seems that most people are from the "Drugs are bad, mmmkay..." contingent and doesn't read it. I don't mind, coz I like to write when I'm on stimulants. :)

However, I'm really annoyed by people who judges recreational drug users and automatically think they're "bad" people. It's hypocritical how some people think. When someone says "Oh, I got so drunk and I picked up this hot chick and fucked her senseless last night at the club", their friends will probably laugh and cheer. But when you say "Oh, I had a couple of ecstasy pills, had a great night dancing at a rave. It was an awesome crowd, full of energy and love" you get disapproving stares and people think "Junkie".

Abracadabra! If you did it right, you should have a fine powder by now. I use a straw to insufflate. Don't do as the movies do and use a dollar bill, that's disgusting! Germs and all that. Yuck. At least use clean cardboard. Some people snort by closing one nostril with a finger, some people don't. I don't need to. Remember to breath out first before you approach the powder or you're going to scatter it! After breathing out, I position the straw over the powder and snort really hard. If you don't breath in hard enough it won't get into your sinuses and some will stick to the inside of your nostril and fall out later. Waste not, want not

Fucking hypocrisy, eh? Why don't you stop being such a government propaganda victim and start thinking for yourself? If you don't take drugs because you don't want to, more power to you. But accept the fact that some people enjoy responsible recreational experimentation and they're good people who can study hard, hold down jobs and are nice honest people, not "bad" people. What a shocker, eh?

Anyway, I've rambled enough. If anyone read everything I wrote, I just want to thank you and let you know that I love you! :)

Funny story: I keep all my good stuff in this drawer beside my desk. My clonazepam (a benzodiazepine) and my dexamphetamine pill bottles looks almost the same. I didn't really look and took several pills out and was about to pop it into my mouth before I realized. Heh, now that would have been funny.

I haven't written:

Project Doctor Shopping
Episode II - Project Divine Stimulation
Traveling at the Speed of Light

yet because currently there is only one story and that's not very interesting now is it? I'm going to try for Adderall (mixture of amphetamines) or Ritalin (methylphenidate hydrochloride) next month. I need it for my 'narcolepsy' you know. ;) On a serious note, I don't want to go doctor shopping for stimulants any sooner than that coz I know myself and I love stimulants so much that if I get my mitts on any amount, it just gets ugly...

Gotta do the drugs, and not let them do you and all that ya know? :)

Man, I've got a huge sleep debt to pay off...

P/S - I feel bad after writing this, it sounds decidedly pro-drug and that's not very responsible of me. My apologies.

I failed my summer semester subject. I had wanted to write about a lot of things today, but I'm not in the mood right now so I'll make a proper post tomorrow or something. I'm already stressed out and sleep deprived from IE and I'm trying not to think about this right now.

i feel terrible...i can hardly bring myself to sit in front of the hallunications you get from sleep deprivation is aamazing...the computer and type this. i'm so sleep deprived, i haven't had anything to sleep and its been more than three days since i slept. haven't eaten anything in many days too, having permanent hallucinations from sleep deprivation, i can see bars on my computer and they're moving....
i want to sleep but i can[t
i'll have to go hardcore with the benzos toite. good thing i have suck a big stash, blobs. i can't even b fuked tuping properly.
ate and snorted 29 dexamphetamines over ythe course of last nite and now everything is strange. they're someone by the window. my closet is breathing slowly...sleep deprivation sucks you get the worst hallucinations of them. my dick is a limp piece of jelly from all that amohetamines and even dirt is moving around on my monitor and its suddenly so thick.

well dammit this is gonna take days for me to recover from. fucking depressed and lethargic and colors are all strange, mu orange shirt is very neon orangeand my white towel is slightly orange. everything sucks, haven'tslept for so many days....so man y days,,,,

i feel like shit, you know those
it just sucksssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

wju doen't everutjomg look rigjt? blur amd tje screen is so thick and the colors and so wierd adn blobs go awau! my pupils are still dilated even though its been several hours since my ;ast dose. blobs go awau; i don't feel like eating evne though its been days...................................................................
twice i felt this bad. once was when i went kardkore with meth and fucked myself sideways for several daus.
just so that everyuone wont say i'm always glorifying drugs, i'm telling you the dark side now. a stimulant crash is so fuckked. i wamt tp nbe happy again. i cam
t ne fucked correcting my spelling mistakes you do it for me if you want. patterns patterns everwnere. those transparent blobs tjat os permanantly in my vision. gotta knock myself out with benzos tonite and get some fuckin sleep thats what i gotta do. blobs go away. bye

500 mgs of dextroamphetamine loving

Dexedrine. That's the brand name for dextroamphetamine [rxlist.com]. Dextroamphetamine is the dextro isomer of amphetamine sulfate (the street drug called speed). I wonder if dextroamphetamine and dexamphetamine refers to the same thing. [Edit: I just found out that dexamphetamine and dextroamphetamine is the same thing.] I'll appreciate it if any pharmacy students clears this up in the comments. It has the same effects as amphetamines and it's a very controlled prescription drug, very much more so than benzos, due to it's addictive nature. Again, I put my trust in my acting skillz and I got a bottle of 100 x 5 mg tablets for my 'narcolepsy' ;). They are white pills with D/5 on one side and no imprint on the other. The edges are beveled. It's the instant release kind, not that time release bullshit. Woo! From my subjective experiments, I would say that 3 of these pills would be equal to one of those feng tau yuen pills you get in Malaysia. I'm talking about the "no sleep" ones that contains (meth)amphetamines, not the ketamine pills. The "no sleep" feng tau yuen contains the same chemical anyway.

Well, I took 4 tablets and crushed one up and insufflated it. Whoa! Dextroamphetamine should really be snorted instead of eaten. It gave me such a huge head rush when I insufflated it. You have to snort hard and get all the powder from the pill deep into your sinuses for that rush though. The drip wasn't too bad tasting, but snorting more than a couple of these beauties would clog up your nose really fast.

Mosiac on my real name (used medical insurance coz this stuff is expensive) and the doctor's name

Well after eating 4 and snorting one, I felt really good. Amphetamine type feelings, like eating a strong feng tau yuen. Very energetic and euphoric and I couldn't stop talking. Hmm...there's this saying which goes "Never let a speed freak near you or he'll talk your ear off". Heh. Very true, this one made me very sociable. It doesn't cloud your mind either, I could work and read fine.

In fact, my concentration increased (happens with all amphetamines though) and I felt like my IQ doubled and I could work three times as fast as I usually could. Of course, I pulled those numbers out of my ass, and it's probably just perception but you could really get some good studying done on these things. Anyway, like all amphetamines there is a very strong compulsion to have more. After a couple of minutes I ate another two pills and had another two pills 15 minutes later.

That was when I reached the peak and damn, was it euphoric! It was amazing, clean and in my opinion a better high than methamphetamines. I couldn't sit still and felt absolutely wonderful. I couldn't go out and party though coz I had some stuff to do so I thought it was a good idea to call random people.

I think I called more than 10 people. It felt good just to talk, but I'm the type of guy that LOVES stimulants. I couldn't stop smoking too, another amphetamine type effect I get. I think all smokers chain smoke while on amphetamines because it somehow feels much better than it does normally. The buzz was really good, I heard someone call this phenomena "reward smoking". It's when smokers who take amphetamines start to crave for cigarettes and couldn't resist the urge to smoke due to some kind of dopaminergic (sp?) activity amphetamines cause. Don't quote me on this though.

I found out that it's much easier to photograph white pills on a black background using macro mode

Anyway, I smoked a pack of Marlboros and still wanted more. I broke out my Nicorette Inhaler [nicorette.com.au] and toked hard on that instead. That reminds me, I'll write about the Nicorette Inhaler some other time. It's really nifty. I had a bit of a panic attack when I couldn't find the inhaler stem though. I was all out of cigarettes and I had a craving from hell and the inhaler was nowhere to be found! I practically overturned my room and finally found it. Nothing has ever looked so beautiful before. I smoked all the 4 remaining nicotine cartridges. I was still fiending after that so I smoked half a cigarette that I used to mix with cannabis. Ugh, stale. I usually smoke cannabis alone, but sometimes a bit of tobacco makes it good as well.

Anyway, I called one of my good friends and talked to her for a long time. We really connected too, it's kinda like MDMA in that sense. I also talked to someone I haven't seen in 5 years and it was great! I had a nice long chat with her about everything and made up for lost time. I also got this bright idea to call fuzzy (Stephanie Goh) [absolutely-fuzzy.com] in New Zealand. :) Surprisingly, the rates to NZ were much higher than to Malaysia for some reason. I'm in Australia if you're wondering. I could only talk for 15 minutes on an A$10 card. It was the Super Saver Card.

I was lazy to go out so I called my friends to see if anyone had a spare calling card. No one had any, but one of my friends picked me up to get a calling card at 7-11. What a nice guy eh? Drove out just to get me to the nearest 7-11 to grab a calling card. :) The calling card was It's Green Card and I called Stephanie again and could also only talk for 15 minutes. How strange, I've always thought NZ rates were very, very low. Something like 3 cents a minute or something. What is wrong with these cards? NZ is nearer and yet the per minute charges were higher.

*drool*

Well, Stephanie is a really nice girl and very easy to talk to. I still think she speaks too fast though. :) I'm glad I called her. She was drinking coffee at home when I called. She's one of those friendly people that's easy to talk to so that's good coz I originally wanted to call just to hear what her voice sounded like. Heh. We talked about Wanganui and Melbourne and some other stuff. I also remembered discussing raves vs clubs.

I can't remember much though, I had too much clonazepam tablets in the past few days and that totally negates short term memory. Fortunately my long term memory was pretty much unaffected so words like "Saddle", "Lai Ming" and such were used in the conversation. :)

Anyway, over the course of the night I took 11 dextroamphetamine tablets and insufflated 2 for a total of 13. The first dose was very euphoric but boosting the dose didn't really do much except prolong the high. Don't chase the high with this one. I'm feeling very scattered towards the end and could hardly hold up my end of the conversation. Uh, like all amphetamine type stimulants it shrunk my member to the size of a pea and I found it very hard to take a piss too. It was all good fun though. Dextroamphetamine is dangerous for me...I just like it too much! I love stimulants in general. I'm going to make drugs a weekend thing instead of a daily thing from now on. Gotta be careful now.

Amphetamines are addictive for me coz I love their stimulating effects so much so I have to be really careful with it. In fact, I'm thinking about popping a couple right now. The bottle is just there seducing me! Dammit, me and my poor self control with regards to drugs. I'll just settle for one last one before locking it into my desk. I hate myself. :( I haven't eaten anything for two days too. Amphetamines = appetite suppressant.

Amphetamine type stimulants are actually a really good way to diet. It works through three ways - appetite supression, increased metabolism and exercise. Exercise coz you feel like you gotta do something to keep you busy. I'm not recommending this diet though, but I've used it before and the results were shocking! I lost 15 kgs in a week after daily use with minimal food (no appetite).

[Edit: I keep eating more and more pills...too compulsive! :( ]

Total dextroamphetamine tablets consumed: 21 x 5 mg tablets for a total of 105 mgs.

That is still within the safe range. I think.

I'll write the

Project Doctor Shopping

Episode II - Project Divine Stimulation

Traveling at the Speed of Light

another day.

I'm feeling very scattered now. Good for going to a rave and really caning it but not so good for doing work. I'll take less next time.

Stimulants + no sleep + no food = crash

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow...

What's the difference between doctors and drug dealers again? ;)

Caution:
Possessing this class of presciption drugs without a prescription will get you arrested. Seriously, it's heavily regulated and you need a doctor's script.

It's all too easy to pop these things like candy. God in a pill bottle. Read the label if you want to know what it is. You'll laugh! Haha! Go ahead, read it.

Best of all, I have a LEGIT prescription.

This is a preview.

Stay tuned for:

Project Doctor Shopping

Episode II - Project Divine Stimulation

Travelling at the Speed of Light

I keep a journal of sorts on my PDA because I get "stoner epiphanies" sometimes and I usually forget them before I even have a chance to write them down! Smoking weed and taking high doses of benzodiazepines with alcohol daily is taking a heavy toll on my short term memory. I'm going to adopt a "no benzos or alcohol except during weekends" policy starting from the 9th of March. Cheers to a close friend of mine who made me reevaluate the frequency of my recreational drug usage. You know who you are. Thanks! :)

Anyway, that was not what I wanted to talk about. I was on that "bye bye short term memory" combo this evening before I went out with a couple of friends. I was snapping pictures of buildings along the way, it's so fun to do while on drugs. Anyway, we soon pulled up to this building where one of our friend lives and while waiting for her to come down, I was being shutter happy and taking pictures of everything. There was this pretty girl standing outside a bar SMSing or something and she turned away when she saw me taking pictures of the building she was in front of.

Well, I thought she was unhappy about my unintentional intrusion because she started walking to the side but she soon came back to the same spot and continued with her SMS action. She probably just did not want to block my photo of the nicely ancient building. Well, the story of this rather pointless post was that we passed by her while driving out of the lane and she looked at me so I gave her a friendly smile and she smiled so sweetly and happily back that I couldn't help but feel pleased. I thought that was nice of her coz not many people smile to strangers nowadays. I had an epiphany about human nature right about then too, but as usual, I forgot about it...

I don't know what I'm talking about half the time, it's so all over the place.

All I know is people should smile more often.

Lock Your Door
It is your responsibility to ensure that you lock the door to your bedroom whenever you are not in your room. If you do not lock your door, you risk having your personal property stolen. Even if you leave your room for "just a minute"
LOCK YOUR DOOR

I just saw this sticker stuck on my door today. It was stuck on every single door in our halls. It's sad that living in a community does have some bad elements as well. Personally, I've only been shafted twice and only once was from my room. I am notorious for not locking my room when I go out, partly out of a belief that people are generally honest and partly because I hate having to dig though my pockets for my key when my hands are full.

I've had a fridge stolen two semesters ago, but that wasn't from my room. I had stored it in the common room as required by the regulations when I went back for the mid semester break and when I came back, it was gone. The resident advisor's records showed someone claiming to be me checking it out and moving out. Oh well. I guess I'll have to store my Marquis reagent in the common fridge from now on. I'm kidding of course. No, I'm really kidding so don't go rooting around the fridge.

Anyway, the second time was when I left this really nifty A$24.95 can opener in the common sink. When I came out to wash it, it was gone, and I thought that was the end of it so I got another cheaper one. A week after it disappeared, it mysteriously appeared again at the same place again. So I guess this qualifies as "borrowing" but he/she could have at least asked me. What am I supposed to do with two can openers?

The third time was when someone took cash out of my room while I was taking a shower. My room was right beside the shower then and my door creaks distinctively when it's opened. While I was taking a shower, the door creaked and I shouted "I'm in the shower, I'll be out in a sec so just sit around a while" coz the walls are thin and they can hear me from my room. I thought it was a friend, but the person didn't answer me and soon after that, the door creaked closed again. I returned to my room to see that the A$10 I put on my keyboard to remind myself to get a calling card was missing.

The guy rummaged around a bit too coz my room was messier than usual, but he didn't find my wallet so I think the most he got away with was A$10 and some change that was on the table. Heh. I don't think it was done by a ressie (resident) though. Must have been someone not from the halls. Oh well, it's just A$10 so that wasn't that big a deal. But I did lock my door after that, although I've gone back to the habit of not locking my door again.

I believe most ressies are honest people anyway (me = idealist), and these things don't happen all that often. I wonder why the management decided to stick this new sticker on everyone's room...I didn't think theft was such a big problem here.

Stuff like single serve ice creams, dairy food, yogurt, juice and beer have a mysterious habit of disappearing from the community fridge though. :)

The stained seat of my pants

I'm wondering whether I should post this at all since it's so disgusting. After much contemplation, I thought "what the heck". :) This happened today. I had just woken up. That's my comfy old PJs you see. Anyway, there I was, sitting up after waking and turning on the computer. It's just within arms reach because you won't believe how small the room in our halls are.

I have a small bed that's so small that everyone who sees it thinks I'm going to fall off the bed the moment I turn. Beside my bed is my table. That's the only table provided by halls in the room and there's no space left to upgrade your table should you feel the desire to. I have a chair in front of the table. On the table, is the computer. There is not an inch of space between the bed, chair and table.

There is no way to pass through unless you jump over the chair. Anyway, that's how small my room is but I don't know why I am talking about this. Well, anyway, I just woke up and turned on the computer to check my mail. I felt a fart coming on. That's normal, I have very regular bowel movements. I have to go very soon after I wake up. Well, I let it go and noticed something uncharacteristic about the flatulence. It felt...wet.

I turned around to look at myself. I didn't really even have to since I already felt it before I saw it. I wasn't wearing anything under my PJs. Slimy. Accidents do happen. Oops!

Sorry if I disgusted anyone. :)

Hoa Tran @ Springvale

I went with my friends to Springvale for lunch this afternoon. Or was it yesterday afternoon? I'm very, very disturbed at the disastrous loss of my short term memory, which I hope is not permanent. I also hope that I can remember things I've only said two minutes ago without having concentrate for two full minutes but that's a different story.

Interior 1 of Hoa Tran

Anyway, I'm pretty sure it happened today, yeah I'm sure of it. We went to Springvale and went hunting for someplace to eat where we haven't eaten before. We stumbled upon this place called Hoa Tran somewhere in Springvale.

Interior 2 of Hoa Tran

The interior was pretty nice, had some statues and such around the place. I had broken rice with pork chop and everything. It's very nice, especially when you pour all of the chili on top of the dish. I've always used to do that since I first had broken rice in Good Dragon at Monash College. I had a friend in college who used to mix every sauce (oyster sauce, fish sauce, soy sauce, BBQ sauce, chili sauce etc) together with salt and SUGAR and use it as a dip. Sick, sick fuck. That's what I thought until I tasted it. It was strangely disturbing, yet great!

Vietnamese Broken Rice with everything :)

I digress. Anyway, the pork chop broken rice (with everything hehe!) was good. The egg tasted really nice for some reason and the sauce was great too. It's cheap as well, it cost A$7 and it comes with soup. Anyway, everyone came back to my place after that and we watched movies and I copied some HK movies over to my hard disk. I love showing the explicit version of Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up and Cradle of Filth - From the Cradle to the Enslave to people who hasn't watched them before. :)

Link of the day: Buy Ecstasy and speed legally over the counter! [news.com.au],

So called "party drugs", including ecstasy and speed, would be sold in licensed drug shops by medically-qualified staff at prices which would undercut the black market.

Vote for the Greens! I would do so too if I lived in NSW and I was a citizen. :)

P/S - Please read veritas's report below. He tool 4 hours to write it (not including the pictures) and many hours of actual field work.

From: Ba Kua comments [sixthseal.com]

But teddybwear [blogspot.com], it looks like this! I couldn't even bear to open the paper bag wider coz it was INFESTED with ants. It was so all over the ba kua it looked like the ba kua has somehow doubled in size! Some of them even tried to crawl up my arm before I chucked it into the bin.

P/S - Please read veritas's report below. He tool 4 hours to write it (not including the pictures) and many hours of actual field work.

Project Doctor Shopping

Episode I - Project Deep Sedation

The Quest for the Holy Benzodiazepine

Happy days are here again

Success rating chart:

0/5 Nothing
1/5 No recreational pharmaceuticals
2/5 Small amount of benzodiazepines
3/5 Medium amount of benzodiazepines
4/5 Large amount of benzodiazepines
5/5 Permanent script

Let us dream and sleep tonight

Note: This is very long, but if you read everything, I'll love you so much! Thanks! :)

Characters:

veritas
Recreational drug user branching into doctor shopping

Mr. Breathing Exercises
New age guy who's very interested in breathing exercises

Benzo Nazi
Doctor who is very stingy with benzodiazepines

Benzo Gestapo
Doctor who lectures you about the evils of benzos before very reluctantly prescribing

The Angel
Nice counselor who would be very helpful if you really have problems. God bless you.

Benzo Messiah
Doctor who breaks out with the script, no questions asked

Note:Identifying clinic names have been changed to XXX and doctor's real names have been replaced with pseudonyms.

Part I Mr. Breathing Exercises

Location: University of XXX Counseling Service

I walked into the place because it's free and they have clinical psychiatrists which I assumed would be able to script me some benzos. A counselor invited me into his room and talked to me about my 'anxiety problem'. I told him I've had panic attacks before and I'm feeling anxious and unable to sleep recently and I nearly had a panic attack again so that's why I came in today. I said I was just lying in bed and for no reason my heart started pounding really hard and I couldn't breath. I thought I was going to have a heart attack and I felt sure I was going to die.

During all that, I kept fidgeting and tried to look strung out and anxious. The counselor said it sounds like I have a very bad anxiety problem and wanted to teach me some breathing exercises. I wanted to steer the conversation to medication so I casually mentioned that I was prescribed Valium when I had a bad panic attack a couple of years ago. I didn't say it like that, it was like "Hmm...I was given something called...hmm...I think it was called Valium? and it really helped me a lot". He said "Oh, that's good, but I'm not a doctor so I can't script you anything".

At that point, I was ready to walk out the door, but out of politeness, I didn't. He taught me breathing exercises to help control my 'panic attacks'. After 15 minutes he looked at the clock and said "Oh, we have 30 minutes left so let me teach you another technique". God save me...I was just here to bum a script. Well, the counselor was a nice guy so I just smiled and nodded politely when he taught me ways to control my 'anxiety disorder'. Do you feel calmer now? Yeah it really work's doesn't it? Yes, yes I said while thinking "Can I please go now?". :) He's a really nice dude though, so I didn't want to be rude.

Returns:

My handwriting is very distinctive, so...

A card with a list of things to do to control my 'anxiety disorder'

Cost of consultation: A$0 - it's a free service

Cost of medication: N/A

Success rating: -1/5
That's for making me sit for 15 minutes practising breathing exercises!

Part II Benzo Nazi Visit #1

Location: University of XXX Health Service

This time I went to a real GP (doctor) at the university's clinic. I didn't change my story from the first experiment but I embellished it a bit. I said I had several panic attacks that I couldn't control and I checked myself into a hospital once because I really thought I was going to die. I also mentioned I haven't slept for several days and I have a recurring anxiety problem. The doctor said not many Malaysian students come in for anxiety problems and said it's great that I would. I said I wouldn't come in too, except I had a really bad panic attack yesterday and it's affecting my studies. I stressed on the fact that I couldn't sleep and asked if there's anything that would help me sleep coz things gets strange after a while when I don't sleep. I also said I was given Valium before and it helped a lot with sleep.

Doctor: Have you ever taken any drugs? Ecstasy? Marijuana?
Me: No, I don't take drugs. (lying through my teeth but maintaining eye contact)
Doctor: Do you go to clubs? Raves?
Me: No. (lying through my teeth and maintaining eye contact but wondering wtf this has got to do with anything)
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol?
Me: No...well, only during special occasions like Chinese New Year. (again lying through my teeth but added an extra bit for realism)
Doctor: Well, I'm going to put you on something that's going to help you with the anxiety and panic attacks. Let me see if I have a sample pack.

The doctor goes out of the room while I cross my fingers and hope for benzos. The doctor comes in with: Zoloft (sertraline). Oh man...that has zero recreational potential. I was trying to discourage him from that and asked "Does it have any side effects?". He said "Yes, there's quite a few" and told me about it. I tried to look doubtful but he said he wants to try this before anything else. He said that even though it might increase my anxiety as first, I should not stop taking one every morning. I did not take any of course.

Temazepam tablets

He then reached into a drawer and gave me three tablets in a blister pack. "Here, this is to help you sleep". I wanted to smile so badly coz it's almost certainly benzos but I kept a poker face and asked again "Does it have any side effects?". Just for the sake of realism you know. He said not to take it with alcohol and only take one a day. He also told me to come back again next week and tell me how it goes.

Temazepam blister pack - back view

I thanked him and could barely walk out of the room before reaching into my pocket and reading the blister pack. Temazepam. 10 mg tablets marked under Normison. Woo hoo, that's better than nothing. I had it with some alcohol and cannabis [sixthseal.com] and it felt great.

Returns:

Zoloft

7 x 50 mg Zoloft (sertraline) - no recreational potential

Temazepam blister pack - front view

3 x 10 mg Normison (temazepam) - a benzodiazepine

Cost of consultation: A$0 - used Medibank Private (health insurance)

Cost of medication: FREE

Success rating: 2.5/5
The extra 0.5 is coz it was free! :)

Part III Benzo Gestapo

Location: XXX Road Clinic

Disappointed at the meager returns from my previous endeavors, I decided a change in story is required. This time I didn't use my Medibank Private health insurance. That is because my personal information and medical history is inside and I was planning to tell a WHOPPER of a story this time. I filled in my details as Tan Kim Leong and put a fake address and waited in the waiting room. A nurse came out soon after.

Nurse: "Kim? Kim Leong?"
Me: (thinking) Who the hell is that guy who's holding up the line?
Nurse: "Do we have a Kim Leong in here?"
I looked around the room.
I was the only Asian.
The nurse looked at me
Nurse: "Kim?"
I gave her a blank look.
Nurse: "Are you Kim?"
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck! I put Kim Leong down as my name! Stupid me! I didn't even remember that! /kicks myself
Me: "Yeah, I'm Kim, sorry to have kept you waiting. I kinda zoned out a bit there."
Nurse: "That's okay, come on in"

Note to self: If you're going to use a fake name, at least REMEMBER it, dumbass!

I went into the doctor's office and told the doctor that I arrived in Melbourne on Wednesday (it was a Friday then).

Doctor: How can I help you?
Me: Well.....I had a bit of a...I guess you can call it a nervous breakdown about a month ago and I had to go to the hospital.
Doctor: What happened?
Me: Nothing, I was just sitting there, eating with my family when I totally freaked out. I thought I was going to die. My heart was pounding so hard and I couldn't breath and the walls seem to close in on me. I was so convinced I was going to die! The people at the hospital refered me to a GP and I was diagnosed with panic disorder. I've been put on this medication called...Klonopin I think it was. It's a round blue tablet with a K inside and I'm supposed to take it once a day.
Doctor: Klonopin. Let me check the database. Ah, its clonazepam. What happened then?
Me: Well, I came here on Wednesday and I had a month's worth of tablets with me and the customs officer seized it coz I didn't have an Australian doctor's prescription. I didn't even want to come to a doctor but I couldn't sleep and I had a very bad panic attack so I called my mom and she called my doctor and the doctor said not to stop taking it suddenly and asked me to see someone here. I tried to go to a pharmacist but they said I had to get a doctor's prescription.
(Man, I'm telling absolute whoppers here)
Doctor: Hmm...well that's a very bad drug.
Me: Why is that? (pretending to be ignorant)
Doctor: It's addictive
Me: IT'S ADDICTIVE?!?!? The doctor didn't tell me that! (a bit of overacting but to keep the image right, you understand)
Doctor: Yeah, its very bad for you. I'll teach you some breathing exercises to help control your panic attacks.

Oh God...not again...

Anyway, after the longest 10 minutes I ever experienced, the doctor said, I'll script you some tablets, but only take them if it's necessary.

Doctor: (coming really close and looking me in the eye) Do you take drugs? Amphetamines? Speed? Ecstasy? Heroin? Marijuana? LSD? (he rattled off dozens of drug names and street terms, I'm not kidding!)
Me: (forcing myself to look straight into his eye) No, I don't take drugs and I never have.

I was expecting lightning to strike me down on the spot. Please forgive me God. :)

I put mosiac on the address coz it's just some address I passed by while on my way to the clinic. It belongs to someone else, so I didn't want to show it. Also edited out the script number and doctor's signature. Don't want to cause anyone any problems. Needless to say, my real name is not Tan Kim Leong :)

Well, after that he broke out his script pad and he said it's not the same ones I got, but it's similar in action. He reiterated the addictive nature of benzos and told me to use the breathing exercises instead of the tablets unless its absolutely necessary. He scripted me 20 x 5 mg Valium (diazepam) tablets.

I went to the pharmacist to cash in my script and got 50 x 5 mg tablets instead of 20 x 5 mg tablets! The mind BOGGLES! The script clearly said:
Diazepam tablets (5 mg)
Quantity: 20 (TWENTY)

The pill container said it contains 50 x 5 mg tablets. I took every pill out and counted it and sure enough there were 50 inside! What luck! Thank you Soul Pattinson Chemist for making a mistake giving me 20 extra tablets! That's 50 mgs extra diazepam goodness. Haha!

Returns:

Antenax - generic Valium (diazepam). That's not my real name.

50 x 5 mg Antenax (generic Valium) (diazepam)

Cost of consultation: A$35 - didn't use Medibank Private to support my whopper of a story

Cost of medication: A$10.65

Success rating: 3/5

Part IV The Angel

Location: XXX Community Mental Health Services and Counseling

This one looks promising. I went inside and made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist came out soon and invited me to her office. She was very friendly and emphatic (psychiatrists are trained that way) and I felt sorry about telling her my whopper of a story. It was the same one I told in Part #3 Benzo Gestapo. She was extemally symphetathic and was very apologetic because she said there are no doctors here so she couldn't script me the Klonopins. She was very helpful and showed me where to go (because my whopper of a story said I just came here two days ago) and kept on saying how terrible it was to be under such stress right after coming here and how sorry she was for me.

She went out of her second floor office and walked with me to show me where the nearest clinic was. I felt really, really bad at this point coz I was just faking a story to get a script and she bought it. :( She even walked with me the other way to show me where the pharmacist was so I can cash my script after I get it. :( That was beyond the line of duty. I'm sorry! I was lying just to get a script but your empathy is not wasted. I shower your firstborn with blessings from the bottom of my heart. Thank you very much, you're a very good counselor and I'm sure your real patients think the same and appreciate you!

Returns:
Sympathy and a sincere respect for counselors

Cost of consultation: A$0 - they don't charge

Cost of medication: N/A

Success rating: 0/5

Part V Benzo Nazi Visit #2

Location: University XXX University Health Service

I had made an appointment for one week after the first visit so here I am again. It's free anyway. I told the doctor I still hasn't been able to sleep and the Zoloft made me so nauseous I could not bare to take it after 5 days. I got that side effect from rxlist.com [rxlist.com] - the scripter's friend. :) It was the highest incidence among test subjects so I had already decided to use that excuse.

Doctor: What about the tablets for sleep? Did you finish that?
Me: (thinking) Of course I did, ate them on the same day with alcohol and cannabis even.
Me: (saying) No, I only took two because it didn't help me sleep at all.

Why did I say that?

1.Saying I didn't take all meant I'm not a benzo abuser

2.It also says that temazepam is not strong enough for me so hopefully a more powerful benzo will be prescribed

Front of brand name Valium blister pack

Well, the doctor said he's going to put me on something new and went out to get a sample pack. He came back with a box of Aropax (paroxetine). -.- For crying out loud...why doesn't he just script me benzos. I was obviously steering him towards it. Now I've gotta give a reason as to why I can't take Aropax. Anyway, if you didn't know, stuff like Zoloft and Aropax is not recreational. You just don't get high off them but it has valid therapeutic uses.

Good thing he also gave me 3 x 5 mg Valium (diazepam) for sleep so the trip was not a total waste. Everything was free anyway, so I can't complain. He told me to take the Aropax the same way and said its not a first line defense against anxiety disorder so I'll have to see him next week again and see how it goes.

Returns:


Back of brand name Valium blister pack

3 x 5 mg Valium (diazepam)

Aropax (paroxetine)

10 x 20 mg Aropax (paroxetine) - no recreational value

Cost of consultation: A$0 - Medibank Private insurance

Cost of medication: FREE

Success rating: 2.5/5
Again, the extra 0.5 coz it's free.

Part VI Benzo Messiah

Location: XXX Medical Clinic

This one has a large sign behind the counter which says:

We DO NOT prescribe:
Temazepam
Codeine
Morphine
Diazepam
Or any other benzodiazepine and narcotics
to NEW PATIENTS

This doesn't sound good at all. I filled up the new patient form anyway and put my faith in my acting abilities. I was so dumb as to write my real family name at first. Force of habit, ya know. I crossed it out several times before putting Tan Boon Hock as my alias. The receptionist took one look at my crossed out form and regarded me with extreme suspicion. Oops!

I had to wait a long time too coz this clinic was very busy. I noticed that each patient was with the doctor for only 3 minutes! Isn't that amazing? Anyway, it was soon my turn and this time I remembered my alias. :p It was Tan Boon Hock if you want to know. Heh! Well, I went to the doctor's office and told him about my problem.

It was the same "customs confiscated my Klonopin" story except I now said I had been diagnosed with panic disorder for a year and I have been on clonazepam for 8 months (instead of the previous 2 weeks story). Personally, I think that this a better cover story because you can get seizures and other withdrawal symptoms if you suddenly stop from a long term course of benzos.

Why am I so keen on clonazepam? Well, I have easy access of Xanax (alprazolam) when I'm in Malaysia and I take that often then so I wanted something different. Clonazepam is the same strength to alprazolam when compared milligram to milligram but clonazepam doesn't take effect until 1-2 hours while alprazolam is pretty mush instant. However, clonazepam lasts heaps longer, and I haven't had it before so I'm keen to try it.

Anyway, the doctor says he's not familiar with Klonopin and flipped through some drug database book. I didn't want to say clonazepam coz that makes it sounds like I'm too familiar with the drug. I wanted to play the ignorant patient, not the knowledgeable scripter. I said it's a blue pill with a K shape inside. I could say K shaped perforation, but that doesn't fit the ignorant patient image does it?

Doctor: Ah, I've found it! It must be this one. Clonodine.
Me: (thinking) Oh my God, no, that's an anti-hypertensive for high blood pressure.
Me: (speaking) No, that's not the one. It's K-l-o-n-o-p-i-n.
Doctor: It could be this one, things may be under different brand names over here. I'll write a script for you.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time for something drastic!

Me: Hmm...er, I think...I THINK its also called clonazepam. I'm not sure though.
Doctor: Ah! Clonazepam. Let me read the book and see if I'm allowed to prescribe that.
(riffling for a while)
Doctor: Yes, I'll write a script for that. How much did you say you're taking again?
Me: (thinking) Yes! Yes! Yes! Wipe that smile off your face before you give yourself away.
Me: (speaking) I was taking it twice a day.

Doctor writes Paxam (generic clonazepam) and 100 tablets on the script.

/me shouts for joy. Again script numbers, doctor's signatures and such have been applied a mosiac.

Not out loud of course.

Doctor: How many mgs were the tablets? 2 mg?
Me: I don't know, it was a blue pill. (FUCKING OVERACTING! WHY COULDN'T I JUST SAY YES?)
Doctor: Hmm...there's no blue pill in the book.
Me: Well, I just take a blue pill twice a day.
(I wanted to say 2 mg then but I didn't want to blow it by sounding like I had "drug seeking tendencies")
Doctor: Twice a day? It could be 0.5 mg then.

Doctor writes 0.5 mg next to Paxam.

I curse the most obscene obscenities in my head.

Me: Thank you very much doctor.
Doctor: No worries, just get the pharmacy to call me if they have problems with the script. Okay? Good.

And then he rushed out to see the next patient.
Total time spent: 3 minutes

I love this doctor, he's so busy that he just wants to work through the patients quickly.

From now on, I dub thee DR. FEELGOOD. I know who to visit next time I want some benzos. Thanks doctor, you made me feel so much better already. Hell, I'm practically cured from my 'anxiety disorder'. ;)

Returns:

Clonazepam love

100 x 0.5 mg Paxam (generic Klonopin) (clonazepam)

Cost of consultation: A$45 (!) but it's worth it coz the street prices would be much higher

Cost of medication: A$18.85

Success rating: 4.5/5
The extra 0.5 coz it's very possible to get a permanent script off Dr. Feelgood.

I'm still kicking myself over not saying yes when he asked whether it was 2 mg. :( I could have 200 mg of clonazepam goodness instead of a comparatively paltry 50 mg. Did you know that I said "Fuck, I'm so stupid" loudly and countless times while walking to the pharmacy? Oh, the lost chance to get 100 x 2 mg clonazepam. :( Seriously, I did that. People must have thought I was fuckin bonkers...

Oh well, at least I got 100 x 0.5 mg. 100 x 0.5 mg comes up to 50 mg of clonazepam so that's nothing to sniff about. That's 20 doses assuming you take 5 mg + alcohol + cannabis.

Project Deep Sedation
Episode I
The Quest for the Holy Benzodiazepine

Returns:

hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahha

100 x 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin)
50 x 5 mg diazepam (Valium)
3 x 10 mg temazepam (Restoril)
3 x 5 mg diazepam (Valium)

Notes:
You have to be economical with the truth especially when they ask you about any drug usage. This is a red flag that you could be a scripter.

Use your health insurance card sparingly. They collate information and if they happen to notice you're seeing different doctors and getting scripts for restricted drugs off them all you're going to be flagged as doctor shopping.

Don't cash scripts at the same pharmacy. You would look very suspicious if you went up with a fistful of scripts for benzos from different doctors.

This is the first time I've ever seen ba kua (rou kang) in Melbourne! It's at a small store at the south entrance of Springvale Shopping Center. Guess how much a slice costs? A$2.50! Personally, I haven't seen ba kua going for RM5 in Malaysia so that sounds steep to me. It's pretty good though.